Ndani amene wasangalatsidwa ndi kudzipatula?

Sachita makani kapena kuchita mantha. M’malo mwake, amapindula ndi mkhalidwe wamakono ndipo amapeza tanthauzo lapadera mmenemo. Ena anakhala odekha, ena amatchera khutu, ena odzidalira kuposa kale. Kwa ena, kwa nthaŵi yoyamba m’miyoyo yawo, sanadzimve kukhala okha, osokonezeka, ndi ochenjera.

Mwachionekere, ambiri akudabwa kuti: “Kodi zimenezi zingatheke bwanji? Kodi anthu amenewa ndi opanda chifundo ndiponso odzikonda moti amasangalala kuona ena akuvutika, kudandaula komanso kuyesetsa kupeza zofunika pamoyo? Ayi ndithu. Kwenikweni, ambiri a awo amene akumva bwino tsopano ali okhudzidwa kwambiri, osanyalanyaza zowawa za ena, okhoterera kuika zosoŵa za anansi awo pamwamba pazawo.

Kodi iwo ndi ndani ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani amachita zinthu motere?

1. Anthu omwe ali ndi matenda osowa mwayi (FOMO - Kuopa Kuphonya). Amaona kuti zabwino zonse zimachitika popanda iwo. Amayang'ana pozungulira ndikuwona momwe aliyense wozungulira akuseka ndikusangalala ndi moyo. Nthawi zonse amaganiza kuti ena amakhala osangalatsa komanso osangalatsa. Ndipo pamene pafupifupi onse okhala padziko lapansi atsekedwa kunyumba, mukhoza kumasuka: tsopano samaphonya kalikonse.

2. Anthu amene amaganiza kuti palibe amene amawaganizira. Awo amene anamanidwa chisamaliro cha makolo ali ana kaŵirikaŵiri amamva ngati ali okha m’dziko. Nthawi zina kusungulumwa kumakhala kozolowereka kwambiri kotero kuti kumakhala komasuka. Mwina panthawi yamavuto adziko lonse muli nokha, koma mumapirira bwino kuposa ena. Mwina zenizeni pamapeto pake zikuwonetsa momwe muli mkati ndipo zimatsimikizira kuti izi ndizabwinobwino.

3. Anthu omwe anazolowera zovuta kuyambira ali ana. Ana omwe amakulira m'malo osadziŵika bwino, osakhazikika nthawi zambiri amayenera kupanga zisankho zazikulu, choncho amakula okonzekera chilichonse.

Kuyambira ali aang'ono, mwadala amazolowera kukhala tcheru nthawi zonse. Anthu otere amatha kukhazikika nthawi yomweyo m'mikhalidwe yosatsimikizika, kuchitapo kanthu mwachangu komanso motsimikiza, ndikudzidalira okha. Pokhala ndi luso lotha kupulumuka mliri, amadzimva kuti ali okhazikika komanso odalirika.

4. Anthu amene amalakalaka zokumana nazo monyanyira. Zikhalidwe zamalingaliro mopambanitsa, zomwe zimasanduka dzanzi popanda zokondweretsa, tsopano zakhazikika m'nyanja yamalingaliro owoneka bwino. Anthu ena amafunikiradi zachilendo, ngakhale zokumana nazo zoopsa kwambiri kuti akhaledi ndi moyo. Zadzidzidzi, zoopsa, chipwirikiti zimawakopa, ndipo zonsezi zidabwera ndi mliri wa COVID-19. Tsopano amamva chinachake, chifukwa ngakhale maganizo oipa ndi abwino kuposa kukhala opanda kanthu.

5. Mawu oyambira pachimake. Okhudzika okhala m'nyumba, omwe nthawi zonse amakokedwa kwinakwake ndikukakamizika kulankhulana ndi anthu, adapuma mpweya wabwino. Simungathenso kuzolowerana ndi gulu la anthu okangana, kuyambira pano aliyense amazolowera. Malamulo atsopano atengedwa, ndipo awa ndi malamulo a introverts.

6. Omwe adavutika ngakhale opanda mliri. Pali anthu ambiri padziko lapansi omwe adakumana ndi zovuta komanso zovuta m'moyo wakale mliri usanayambike. Zomwe zikuchitika pano zawapatsa mwayi wopumira.

Dziko lodziwika bwino linagwa mwadzidzidzi, palibe chomwe chingathetsedwe kapena kukonzedwa. Koma popeza aliyense ali ndi mavuto, kumlingo wina zinakhala zosavuta kwa iwo. Si nkhani yodzitamandira, kungoti amatonthozedwa pang’ono ndi kudzimva kukhala ogwirizana. Pambuyo pake, ndani amene tsopano ali wophweka?

7 Anthu oda nkhawa amene akhala akuyembekezera tsoka kwa zaka zambiri. Nkhawa kaŵirikaŵiri imayambitsa mantha opanda nzeru a zinthu zoopsa zosayembekezereka. Choncho, ena nthawi zonse amayembekezera vuto linalake ndipo amayesa kudziteteza ku zokumana nazo zilizonse zoipa.

Chabwino, tafika. Chinachake chimene aliyense ankaopa ndipo palibe amene ankachiyembekezera chinachitika. Ndipo anthu awa adasiya kuda nkhawa: pambuyo pake, zomwe adakonzekera moyo wawo wonse zidachitika. Koma chodabwitsa n’chakuti m’malo mochita mantha, panakhala mpumulo.

Kodi zonsezi zikutanthauza chiyani

Ngati chilichonse cha pamwambachi chikukhudza inu, ngakhale pamlingo wochepa, mwinamwake mwalakika ndi liwongo. Mwinamwake mukuganiza kuti n’kulakwa kumva bwino panthaŵi yoteroyo. Dziwani kuti sichoncho!

Popeza sitingathe kusankha mmene tikumvera mumtima mwathu, sitiyenera kudziona ngati tili ndi maganizo amenewa. Koma zili m’manja mwathu kuwatsogolera m’njira yabwino. Ngati mwasonkhanitsidwa, odekha komanso oyenera, gwiritsani ntchito mwayiwu.

Mwachidziwikire, mumakhala ndi nthawi yambiri yaulere komanso zinthu zosavutikira kwambiri. Uwu ndi mwayi wodziwiratu bwino, kukumana ndi madandaulo aubwana omwe amakupangitsani kukhala amphamvu, kusiya kulimbana ndi malingaliro "olakwika" ndikungovomereza momwe iwo aliri.

Palibe amene akanalingalira kuti anthu angakumane ndi chiyeso choopsa chotero. Ndipo komabe aliyense amachita nawo mwanjira yawoyawo. Ndani akudziwa, mwadzidzidzi nthawi yovutayi idzatembenuka m'njira yosamvetsetseka kuti mupindule?

Zokhudza Wolemba: Jonis Webb ndi katswiri wazamisala komanso wolemba buku la Escape from the Void: Momwe Mungagonjetsere Kunyalanyaza Kusaganizira za Ubwana.