Zamkatimu
N’chifukwa chiyani achinyamata ena amadzicheka, kung’ambika khungu lawo? Izi si «mafashoni» osati njira kukopa chidwi. Kumeneku kungakhale kuyesa kuchepetsa ululu wa m’maganizo, kulimbana ndi zokumana nazo zomwe zimaoneka kukhala zosapiririka. Kodi makolo angathandize mwana ndi mmene angachitire izo?
Achinyamata adzicheka kapena kupesa khungu lawo mpaka kutulutsa magazi, kugwedeza mitu yawo kukhoma, kutulutsa khungu lawo. Zonsezi zimachitika pofuna kuthetsa nkhawa, kuchotsa zowawa kapena zowawa kwambiri.
“Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti achinyamata ambiri amadzivulaza pofuna kuthana ndi zowawa,” akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo a ana Vena Wilson.
Si zachilendo kuti makolo azichita mantha akadziwa kuti mwana wawo wadzivulaza yekha. Kubisa zinthu zoopsa, kuyesera kumusunga iye nthawi zonse kuyang'aniridwa, kapena kuganiza za kugonekedwa m'chipatala m'chipatala cha amisala. Komabe, ena amangonyalanyaza vutolo, mobisa n’kumayembekezera kuti lidzatha lokha.
Koma zonsezi sizingathandize mwanayo. Vienna Wilson amapereka njira 4 zochitira makolo omwe apeza kuti mwana wawo amadzivulaza.
1. Khazikani mtima pansi
Makolo ambiri, pophunzira zimene zikuchitika, amadziona kuti alibe chochita, amagonja ndi liwongo, chisoni ndi mkwiyo. Koma musanalankhule ndi mwanayo, m’pofunika kuganizira mofatsa ndi kukhazika mtima pansi.
“Kudzivulaza sikuli kuyesa kudzipha,” akugogomezera motero Vienna Wilson. Choncho, choyamba, ndikofunika kuti mukhale chete, musachite mantha, kulimbana ndi zomwe mukukumana nazo, ndiyeno pokhapo muyambe kukambirana ndi mwanayo.
2. Yesetsani kumvetsetsa mwanayo
Simungayambe kukambirana ndi milandu, ndi bwino kusonyeza kuti mukuyesera kumvetsa mwanayo. Mufunseni mwatsatanetsatane. Yesetsani kupeza mmene kudzivulaza kumamuthandizira ndi cholinga chimene amachitira zimenezo. Samalani ndi mwanzeru.
Mwinamwake, mwanayo amawopa kwambiri kuti makolo apeza chinsinsi chake. Ngati mukufuna kupeza mayankho ochokera pansi pa mtima, ndi bwino kumufotokozera momveka bwino kuti mukuona kuti ali ndi mantha ndipo simumulanga.
Koma ngakhale mutachita zonse bwino, mwanayo akhoza kutseka kapena kutaya mtima, kuyamba kukuwa ndi kulira. Akhoza kukana kulankhula nanu chifukwa cha mantha kapena manyazi, kapena pazifukwa zina. Pankhaniyi, ndi bwino kuti musamukakamize, koma kupereka nthawi - kotero kuti wachinyamatayo asankhe kukuuzani zonse.
3. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri
Kudzivulaza ndi vuto lalikulu. Ngati mwanayo sakugwirabe ntchito ndi psychotherapist, yesani kupeza katswiri wa matendawa kwa iye. Wothandizira adzapanga malo otetezeka kuti wachinyamata aphunzire momwe angathanirane ndi malingaliro oipa m'njira zina.
Mwana wanu ayenera kudziwa zoyenera kuchita pakagwa tsoka. Ayenera kuphunzira luso lodziletsa m’maganizo limene lidzafunika m’tsogolo. Katswiriyu angakuthandizeninso kuthana ndi zinthu zimene zingayambitse kudzivulaza—mavuto akusukulu, matenda a maganizo, ndi zinthu zina zodetsa nkhawa.
Nthawi zambiri, makolo nawonso amapindula pofunafuna thandizo la akatswiri. Ndikofunika kwambiri kuti musamamuimbe mlandu kapena kumuchititsa manyazi mwanayo, koma simuyenera kudziimba mlandu nokha.
4. Khalani chitsanzo cha kudziletsa bwino
Mukaona kuti n’zovuta kapena zoipa, musaope kuzisonyeza pamaso pa mwana wanu (makamaka pa mlingo umene atha kumvetsa). Fotokozani zakukhosi kwanu m'mawu ndikuwonetsa momwe mumatha kuthana nazo moyenera. Mwina m’mikhalidwe yotero mufunikira kukhala nokha kwa kanthaŵi kapena ngakhale kulira. Ana amaziwona ndipo amaphunzira phunziro.
Popereka chitsanzo cha kudziletsa moyenerera, mukuthandiza mwana wanu mwakhama kusiya chizolowezi chodzivulaza.
Kuchira ndi njira yapang'onopang'ono ndipo imatenga nthawi komanso kuleza mtima. Mwamwayi, pamene wachinyamata akukhwima physiologically ndi minyewa, dongosolo lake lamanjenje limakula kwambiri. Kutengeka mtima sikudzakhalanso kwachiwawa komanso kosakhazikika, ndipo kudzakhala kosavuta kuthana nawo.
“Achinyamata amene ali ndi chizoloŵezi chodzivulaza angathe kusiya chizoloŵezi choipa chimenechi, makamaka ngati makolo, ataphunzira za icho, atha kukhala odekha, kuchitira mwanayo momvetsa chisoni ndi chisamaliro chowona, ndi kumpezera dokotala wabwino wamaganizo,” akutero Vena. Wilson.
Za wolemba: Vena Wilson ndi psychotherapist wa ana.