Tchuthi ndi bwenzi nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi tanthauzo lapadera. Zikuwoneka kuti masiku ano, tikapeza mwayi wodzipereka kwa wina ndi mzake, tidzathetsa madandaulo akale ndikupereka chikondi. Malotowo amakwaniritsidwa ndipo amakhumudwitsa. Chifukwa chiyani muyenera kukhala ozindikira kwambiri za tchuthi, akutero katswiri wamankhwala Susan Whitbourne.
M'malingaliro athu, tchuthi limodzi, monga mu sewero lachikale, limapangidwa ndi kusunga utatu: malo, nthawi ndi zochita. Ndipo zigawo zitatu izi ziyenera kukhala zangwiro.
Komabe, ngati "malo ndi nthawi" yabwino kwambiri ingasungidwe ndikugulidwa, ndiye kuti gulu la "zochita" (momwe ndendende ulendowo udzayendere) ndizovuta kwambiri kuwongolera. Mungayambe kusokonezedwa ndi maganizo okhudza ntchito kapena mwadzidzidzi mukufuna kukhala nokha. Kuchokera apa, kuponya mwala ku malingaliro olakwa pamaso pa mnzanu.
Ofufuza ochokera ku Breda University of Applied Sciences (Netherlands) adatsata momwe chikhalidwe chamaganizo chimasinthira panthawi ya tchuthi. Anagwiritsa ntchito njira yomanganso tsikulo, kupempha otenga nawo mbali 60, amene anatenga masiku osachepera asanu patchuthi kuyambira July mpaka September, kuti alembe zimene aona madzulo aliwonse ndi kulembapo chithunzi cha mmene akumvera.
M’masiku otsiriza atchuthi, pafupifupi tonsefe timayamba kufooka m’maganizo ndi mphwayi pang’ono.
Kumayambiriro kwa ulendo, okwatirana onse ankamva bwino komanso osangalala kuposa tchuthi chisanayambe. Kwa iwo omwe adapumula kuyambira masiku 8 mpaka 13, pachimake cha zokumana nazo zosangalatsa zidatsika pakadutsa masiku achitatu ndi chisanu ndi chitatu, pambuyo pake panali kuchepa, ndipo tsiku limodzi kapena awiri asanafike kumapeto kwa ulendowo, malingalirowo adafikira pang'ono. . Masiku ano, anthu ambiri amavutika maganizo, moyo wa tchuthi unasiya kuwasangalatsa, ndipo pakati pawo panali mikangano yambiri.
Mabanja amene anapumula kwa mlungu umodzi wokha anali ataphimbidwa ndi chisangalalo cha tchuthi. Pakati pa sabata, mphamvu ya malingaliro abwino oyambirira idachepa pang'ono, koma osati kwambiri monga m'magulu omwe adatenga tchuthi lalitali.
Zikuoneka kuti ngati tchuthi kumatenga zosaposa masiku asanu ndi awiri, ndife okhoza kukhalabe chimwemwe maganizo. Matchuthi otalika kuposa sabata imodzi amayambitsa kusokonekera kwamalingaliro pakati paulendo. Komabe, mosasamala kanthu za utali wa mpumulo m’masiku otsiriza, pafupifupi tonsefe timagwa m’maganizo ndi mphwayi pang’ono. Ndipo ndi kukumbukira izi zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale chiwopsezo chowononga zomwe zachitika paulendowu, mpaka pomwe tidayamba kukumana ndi tchuthi.
Chifukwa chake, ngati mukumva kuti mwatopa ndi chilichonse, musalole kutengera zomwe mwachita poyamba ndikuthamangira kunyamula sutikesi yanu kapena kuthamangira ku eyapoti, kunamizira kupeŵa kuchuluka kwa magalimoto, ngakhale mukuthawa malingaliro anu. ndi maganizo.
Moyo sumvera mapulani athu, ndipo ndizosatheka kusunga "sabata lachisangalalo"
Mvetserani nokha. Mukufuna chiyani kwambiri? Ngati mukufuna kukhala nokha, muuzeni mnzanuyo za nkhaniyi. Yendani, imwani kapu ya khofi yokha, kumbukirani mphindi zowala zamasiku apitawa. Pambuyo pake, mutha kugawana zomwe mwakumbukira ndi mnzanuyo.
Zolemba za onse omwe adatenga nawo gawo mu kafukufukuyu zikuwonetsa kuti malingaliro abwino omwe timapeza tikakhala patchuthi ndi wokondedwa amaposa zoyipa. Komabe, palibe amene adalankhula za tchuthi ngati nthawi yomwe ingasinthe kwambiri maubwenzi mwa okwatirana kapena kuthandizira kuyang'ana zinthu zakale ndi maonekedwe atsopano, omwe maulendo oyendayenda amalonjeza nthawi zambiri.
Moyo sumvera mapulani athu, ndipo ndizosatheka kusunga "sabata lachisangalalo". Kuyembekezera mopambanitsa kokhudzana ndi tchuthi kumatha kusewera nthabwala zankhanza. Ndipo, m'malo mwake, podzilola tokha ndi mnzako kukhala ndi malingaliro onse panthawiyi, tidzachepetsa kupsinjika kwamalingaliro kumapeto kwa ulendo ndikukumbukira bwino.
Za wolemba: Susan Krauss Whitborn ndi pulofesa wa psychology ku yunivesite ya Massachusetts Amherst.