Psychology

Okwatirana ambiri amayesa kukhalabe mabwenzi pambuyo pa kutha. Kaya n’zotheka kukhalabe ndi maunansi ochezeka zimadalira makamaka pa zolinga zimene timatsatira. Nazi zifukwa zomwe sizingagwire ntchito.

Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti zibwenzi zakale ndizoyipa kwambiri pakupanga mabwenzi kuposa mabwenzi omwe sanachitepo zogonana. Kuyesera kumanga ubale pa maziko atsopano a platonic, amakhulupirirana mochepa ndipo amafuna kupeza chisangalalo chawo. Zifukwa khumi zaubwenzi ndi munthu wakale zimatha kukhumudwitsana.

1. Muli ndi anzanu apamtima

Ngati achibale anu ndi abwenzi akufuna kuti mukhale paubwenzi chifukwa cha iwo, motero kuwalola kupewa kusankha omwe angawayitanire kuphwando lawo lobadwa, mutha kupita nawo limodzi. Ndithudi, iyi ndi sitepe yabwino, kusunga maonekedwe a mgwirizano wamba, koma ngati ichi ndi chifukwa chokha, sikokwanira.

Muli ndi ufulu wokana kuyitanira kulikonse ngati simukufuna kuwonana ndi wakale wanu.

Ndipo ngakhale mutakhala wokonzeka kudutsa njira nthawi ndi nthawi, izi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kukhalabe mabwenzi. Zingakhale zovuta poyamba kukumana paphwando ngati mnzako wamba, ndikudzimvabe kuti iye ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri la moyo wanu wakale. Komabe, nthawi imagwira ntchito yake, ndipo mbiri yanu wamba idzasungunuka pang'onopang'ono kukhala zochitika zatsopano ndi misonkhano.

2. Mumadziimba mlandu

Ngati kupatukana kunachitika mwakufuna kwanu ndipo mnzake wakale ali ndi nkhawa ndikuumirira paubwenzi, ndiye kuti simukufuna kumupweteka kwambiri pokana. Komabe, kuyesa kuchiritsa mabala ndi kukhalapo kwawo kungayambitse zoopsa zambiri. Izi sizingathandize kumanzere kupeza mphamvu zopitira patsogolo.

Ngati pazifukwa zina mumadziimba mlandu, pezani mpata wokambiranapo ndi kupepesa. Komabe, musatembenuke kukhala chovala chamuyaya, chomwe tsopano chiyenera kutonthoza ndi kuthandizira.

3. Umakhala wosungulumwa

Kulekana nthawi zambiri kumatipangitsa kumva kuti tili opanda kanthu mkati, zimatenga nthawi kuti tikwaniritse. Ngati tikumva osungulumwa Loweruka usiku, ndiye kuitanira mnzathu wakale yemwe timamudziwa bwino kumalo athu kuti tidye chakudya chamadzulo ndikuwonera filimu pamodzi kumawoneka ngati lingaliro lokongola kwambiri kusiyana ndi kupita kukakumana ndi zochitika zatsopano ndi mabwenzi.

Komabe, izi zitha kuyambitsa kuyambiranso kosatha kwa maubwenzi omwe amakhala kwakanthawi kochepa ndikusiyanso.

Kuopsa kogwera mu bwalo loipali lomwe limakupangitsani kukhala osungulumwa komanso osatetezeka chifukwa chake sikuli koyenera kutonthozedwa kwakanthawi kwausiku umodzi.

4. Mukufuna kudziwa za moyo wake

Zingakupwetekenibe kuganiza kuti wakale wanu adzapeza chisangalalo ndi munthu wina. Pokhala paubwenzi, mumasiya mwayi wotsatira momwe moyo wake umakhalira. Komabe, kukhala woululira zakukhosi sikungathandize inuyo kapena wakale wanu.

Kafukufuku wa Men's Health wa anthu 3000 adapeza kuti 85% nthawi zonse amayang'ana tsamba la omwe adakonda kale, 17% amatero kamodzi pa sabata. Kupenyerera koteroko kumangowonjezera nsanje ndi nkhaŵa. Ngati zimakuvutani kulimbana ndi chiyeso chofuna kukhala paubwenzi, ndi bwino kuti “musiyane” wina ndi mnzake. Zonse m'malo enieni komanso m'moyo weniweni.

5. Mumalinganiza maubwenzi akale.

Ngati tili ndi ubale watsopano, koma samatikhutiritsa, nthawi zambiri timayamba kukumbukira zokumbukira za mgwirizano wakale. Ndikosavuta kuyamba kukondana ndi wokondedwa wakale - pambuyo pake, kuyambira pano munthuyu ali kutali, ndipo sitiwona zomwe tidasiyana nazo. Msampha wamaganizidwewa umangowonjezera kusakhutira ndi zomwe tili nazo pakadali pano.

6. Mukukhulupirira kuti wakale wanu asintha.

N’kutheka kuti munasudzulana chifukwa chakuti mkazi wanu wakale anabera kapena kumwa mowa mwauchidakwa, koma mukuganiza kuti akakutayani adzaphunzirapo kanthu pa zimene zinachitikazo. Kukhalabe mabwenzi kumakupangitsani kukhala olumikizana komanso kukhala ndi chiyembekezo kuti mutha kumulimbikitsa.

Nthaŵi zina, pamene kusudzulana kunali kofunika kwa inu ndipo mnzanuyo sakufuna, chiyembekezo chokonzanso ubwenziwo chingalimbikitse.

Komabe, ngati wakale wanuyo akuona kuti n’kosavuta kukukopani, angatsanzire kufunitsitsa kusintha. Ubwenzi woterowo udzangowonjezera kukhumudwa.

7. Umaona ex wako ngati kubwebweta.

Nthawi zambiri, osafuna kuvomereza momasuka kwa ife tokha, timakhala paubwenzi ndi chiyembekezo kuti ngati sitipeza wina wabwino, titha kubwereranso kwa okondedwa athu akale. N’zosachita kufunsa kuti njira imeneyi ndi yosaona mtima. Ndipo kuti khomo latsopano litseguke m’moyo wanu, n’kofunika kutseka lakale.

8. Mwamuna wanu wakale amakusiyani chochita.

Simukufuna kukhalabe mabwenzi, koma wakale wanu akupitiriza kukuvutitsani, ndipo zimakupangitsani kukhalabe ndi maonekedwe a chibwenzi kusiyana ndi kukana. Muli ndi ufulu wonse wosokoneza maubwenzi onse, koma pamenepa, khalani olimba - mbali inayo iyenera kumvetsetsa kuti simungagwirizane ndi apolisi.

9. (Iye) amakukondanibe

Pamenepa, kuthera nthawi pamodzi kungakhale kosangalatsa kwa ife—tonse timafuna kumva kukondedwa. Komabe, izi zimapatsa gulu lina chiyembekezo chabodza. Ngakhale mutaona kuti mwafotokoza moona mtima kuti mukufuna kukhalabe mabwenzi, munthu wachikondi adzapitirizabe kukhala ndi chiyembekezo. Ngati simubwezera, ndiye kuti chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungamuchitire ndicho kuchotsa moyo wake.

10. Umamukonda

Kukhala m'chikondi pamene mukuyembekeza kubwererana mobisa ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zamphamvu zokhalira mabwenzi. Ndipo nthawi yomweyo imodzi mwa zoopsa kwambiri.

Ngati munthu adaganiza zosiya ubale ndi inu, ndiye, mwachiwonekere, anali ndi chifukwa chabwino cha izi.

Kuyesera kutsitsimutsa mgwirizano wachikondi, mumangodzipweteka nokha. Yesetsani kukhala ndi nthawi yambiri ndi anzanu omwe mumawakonda komanso ofunika kwambiri. Ex wanu si m'modzi wa iwo.

Kodi n'zotheka kukhalabe mabwenzi?

Ndithudi. Ngati palibe wa inu amene ali ndi zolinga zomwe tafotokozazi, ndipo ubwenzi wanu sukhudza chibwenzi chatsopanocho m’njira iliyonse. Mkhalidwe womwe mumakhala omasuka nawo limodzi ndi okonda atsopano komanso wakale, komanso samasemphana nthawi imodzi, ndi chizindikiro chachikulu kuti mutha kukhalabe mabwenzi.

Zolinga zamkati zaubwenzi nthawi zina zimatha kubisika kwa ife - psyche yathu imabisa zolinga zenizeni, kuziwonetsa ngati osalakwa kwambiri. Choncho, posankha kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale kapena ayi, yesetsani kukhala oona mtima.

Siyani Mumakonda