Chilichonse chinkawoneka kuti chikukuyenderani bwino, ndipo mwadzidzidzi anasowa popanda kufotokoza. Vuto ndi chiyani? Nthawi zambiri, chifukwa chake ndi kuyandikana kwake komanso kusapezeka.
Muli bwino pabedi, koma nthawi iliyonse mukamuitana kuti mupite kokacheza ndi anzanu, kodi amanena kuti ali otanganidwa? Ichi sichina koma chizindikiro cha kuyandikana kwamalingaliro.
“Mwamuna wotero ali ngati mlendo wopita ku malo ogulitsa magalimoto amene amangokwera pamakina oyesera, ndipo samafulumira kugula kalikonse,” akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi mphunzitsi wa zibwenzi Samantha Burns.
Inde, sikophweka nthawi zonse kuti tithane ndi malingaliro athu, koma ponena za wokondedwa, ndikuyembekeza kuti iye adzakuchirikizani nthawi zonse, pamene mukumuchirikiza. Kugwa m’chikondi ndi munthu amene sali wokonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi chachikulu, mukhoza kukhala pachiopsezo chokhala ndi mtima wosweka.
Kuti musagwere mumsampha uwu, muyenera kumvetsera zizindikiro za kuzizira kwa mnzanu kuyambira pachiyambi.
“Lekani kutaya nthawi ndi mphamvu zanu pa amuna amene alibe nazo ntchito. Simuli ofunika kwa iye ngati sakuyimbirani koyamba, sakuitanani kulikonse, samalankhula zakukhosi. Ngati mwamuna ali wopenga ndi inu, mosakayika angafune kumva mawu anu pafupipafupi. Ngati akulankhula nanu mwa amithenga, ndipo amakumana pogona, ndiye kuti sangakhazikitsidwe kuti azilankhulana kwambiri. Lekani kupereka zifukwa za khalidwe lake,” akutero Samantha Burns.
Mwina amangochita manyazi. Pamenepa, fufuzani iye - onetsani chidwi chanu, cheza naye, lankhulani naye m'mawonekedwe a thupi. Ngati iye satero «kuluma», zikuoneka, inu simuli chidwi kwambiri kwa iye.
Kotero, apa pali zifukwa 11 zokayika kuti mwamuna amakukondani.
1. Sanena zakukhosi kwake.
Samakambirana nanu nkhani zaumwini: mantha, zofooka, maloto, zolinga. Ndipo savomereza chikondi chake.
2. Amangofuna chinthu chimodzi basi (si chikondi)
Amafunafuna ubwenzi wapamtima mwa kugonana, osati mwanjira ina.
3. Akunena “ine” m’malo mwa “ife”
Nthawi zonse amangolankhula za mapulani ake amtsogolo, potero akuwonetsa kuti sakufuna kukhala pachibwenzi chachikulu.
4. Sali wokonzeka kukutaya nthawi.
Sadzasintha mapulani chifukwa chokumana nanu. Muyenera kusinthira kwa iye kapena kuletsa tsikulo.
5. Simuona ngati ndinu ofunika kwa iye.
Sazengereza kusonyeza kunyoza inu - mwachiwonekere sindinu chinthu chachikulu m'moyo wake, ndipo samabisa.
6. Saonetsa maganizo ake pa iwe pamaso pa ena.
Safuna "kutuluka" ndi inu kapena kungoyenda mumsewu atagwirana chanza.
7. Amasunga moyo wake payekha.
Sali wofunitsitsa kudziwana ndi anzanu ndi abale anu ndipo safulumira kukudziwitsani za ake.
8. Sayesa kukusangalatsani.
Iye samayesa kukukondweretsani. Nthawi zambiri, amuna omwe ali m'chikondi amakuitanani pamasiku, kuyamikira ndi kupereka mphatso - ngakhale ndi trinket yokongola - popanda chifukwa.
9. Sasamala za zomwe mumakonda komanso zomwe mumakonda.
Sali wokonzeka kumvetsera nkhani za zomwe mumakonda kapena kuyesa kuchita zinthu pamodzi zomwe zimakusangalatsani.
10. Iye sakonda zoyesayesa zanu zokambilana za tsogolo limodzi.
Sanakonzekere kupanga mapulani ophatikizana ndikuletsa zoyesayesa zanu kuti mukambirane za mutuwu.
11. Zikuwoneka kwa inu kuti ali wokonzeka kukusiyani nthawi iliyonse.
Ndi iye, mulibe maganizo odekha komanso odalirika m'tsogolomu. Zochita zake sizikugwirizana ndi mawu ake. Ngakhale amalankhula mokoma bwanji, sizitanthauza kanthu.
“Ngati wamvetsetsa kuti mnzanuyo ndi wozizira komanso wotseka, choyamba yesani kukambirana naye mozama, fotokozani zomwe zikukusautsani. Ngati nthawi zonse amasiya kukambirana, ndi nthawi yoti mupange chisankho chovuta ndikuthetsa chibwenzicho. Lekani kukhala «msungwana wabwino» amene ali wokonzeka kudikira kwamuyaya mpaka iye potsiriza «kucha» chinachake chachikulu. Izi zimachitika kawirikawiri," akutero Samantha Burns.
Tsoka ilo, amayi ambiri amaumirirabe maubwenzi osapindulitsa ndi amuna omwe sawalemekeza, amawayamikira komanso amawagwiritsa ntchito popanda kukonzekera kalikonse. Dzifunseni kuti: Kodi mumamufuna munthu ameneyu? Kodi muyenera kuphwanya mfundo zanu? Kodi mukutaya ulemu wanu? Kodi ubalewu ukukwaniritsa zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mukufuna?
Ngati mukuona kuti mukuyenera kuchita zambiri, muzimupempha modekha komanso mokoma mtima kuti akambirane zimene sizikuyenererani. Ngati akana kulankhula, ingakhale nthawi yoti achoke.
Za Wolemba: Samantha Burns ndi katswiri wazamisala komanso wophunzitsa chibwenzi.