Zamkatimu
N’chifukwa chiyani anthu ena amakula odalirana, osatetezeka, osamasuka kulankhulana? Akatswiri a zamaganizo adzati: yang'anani yankho muubwana. Mwina makolo awo sanazindikire chifukwa chimene ankafunira kukhala ndi mwana.
Ndimalankhula kwambiri ndi amayi omwe analeredwa ndi amayi omwe sankakondana nawo. Funso lopweteka kwambiri lomwe limawadetsa nkhawa pambuyo pake "Chifukwa chiyani sanandikonde?" "N'chifukwa chiyani wandibala ine?".
Kukhala ndi ana sikutanthauza kuti kumatipangitsa kukhala osangalala. Pakubwera kwa mwana, zambiri zimasintha m'moyo wa okwatirana: iwo ayenera kumvetsera osati kwa wina ndi mzake, komanso kwa wachibale watsopano - wokhudza, wopanda thandizo, nthawi zina wosasangalatsa komanso wamakani.
Zonsezi zikhoza kukhala magwero a chimwemwe chenicheni kokha ngati ife mwa ife kudzikonzekeretsa tokha kubadwa kwa ana ndi kupanga chisankho ichi mozindikira. Tsoka ilo, sizili choncho nthawi zonse. Ngati tipanga zosankha malinga ndi zifukwa zakunja, izi zingabweretse mavuto m’tsogolo.
1. Kukhala ndi munthu amene amakukondani
Azimayi ambiri amene ndinalankhula nawo ankakhulupirira kuti kukhala ndi mwana kudzawathandiza kuthetsa ululu umene ena ankawavutitsa kwa moyo wawo wonse.
Mmodzi wa makasitomala anga anatenga pakati chifukwa cha ubale wamba ndipo adaganiza zosunga mwanayo - monga chitonthozo. Pambuyo pake adatcha chisankho ichi "chodzikonda kwambiri pamoyo wanga."
Wina ananena kuti “ana sayenera kukhala ndi ana,” kutanthauza kuti iye mwiniyo analibe kukhwima maganizo ndi kukhazikika m’maganizo kuti akhale mayi wabwino.
Vuto ndiloti tanthauzo la kukhalapo kwa mwanayo limatsikira ku ntchito - kukhala maganizo «ambulansi» kwa mayi.
M’mabanja oterowo, ana okhwima m’maganizo ndi odalira amakula, amene amaphunzira adakali aang’ono kukondweretsa ena, koma osadziŵa bwino zikhumbo ndi zosowa zawo.
2. Chifukwa mumayembekezeredwa kutero
Zilibe kanthu kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi ndi ndani, mayi, bambo kapena wina wochokera kuderali. Ngati tili ndi mwana kuti tipewe kukhumudwitsa ena, timayiwala za kukonzekera kwathu pa sitepe iyi. Chosankha chimenechi chimafuna chikumbumtima. Tiyenera kuyesa kukhwima kwathu ndikumvetsetsa ngati tingathe kupereka mwana zonse zofunika.
Monga chotulukapo, ana a makolo oterowo amadandaula kuti ngakhale kuti ali ndi chirichonse — denga pamitu pawo, zovala, chakudya patebulo —palibe amene amasamala za zosoŵa zawo zamaganizo. Amati amadzimva ngati chizindikiro chinanso pamndandanda wakulera wa zolinga za moyo wawo.
3. Kukhala ndi cholinga cha moyo
Maonekedwe a mwana m'banja angaperekedi chilimbikitso chatsopano ku moyo wa makolo. Koma ngati ndicho chifukwa chokha, ndi chifukwa lousy. Ndi inu nokha amene mungadziwire nokha chifukwa chimene mukukhala. Munthu wina, ngakhale wakhanda, sangakuchitireni zimenezo.
Njira yotereyi m’tsogolomu ingasinthe n’kukhala chitetezo mopambanitsa ndi kulamulira ana aang’ono. Makolo amayesa kuyika ndalama mwa mwanayo momwe angathere. Alibe malo akeake, zokhumba zake, ufulu wovota. Ntchito yake, tanthauzo la kukhalapo kwake, ndikupangitsa moyo wa makolo kukhala wopanda pake.
4. Kuonetsetsa kubereka
Kukhala ndi munthu amene adzalandira bizinesi yathu, ndalama zathu, amene adzatipempherera, m'chikumbukiro chake tidzakhala ndi moyo pambuyo pa imfa yathu - mikangano iyi kuyambira nthawi zakale inakankhira anthu kusiya ana. Koma kodi zimenezi zimaganizira bwanji zofuna za anawo? Nanga bwanji chifuniro chawo, kusankha kwawo?
Mwana amene “waikidwiratu” kutenga malo ake m’banja lachifumu kapena kukhala woyang’anira cholowa chathu amakulira m’malo ovuta kwambiri.
Zofuna za ana zomwe sizikugwirizana ndi zochitika za m'banja nthawi zambiri zimakanidwa kapena kunyalanyazidwa.
“Mayi anga anandisankhira zovala, anzanga, ngakhale ku yunivesite, akumalingalira zimene zinali zovomerezedwa m’gulu lawo,” mmodzi wa makasitomala anga anandiuza. “Ndinakhala loya chifukwa ankafuna.
Tsiku lina nditaona kuti ndimadana ndi ntchito imeneyi, iye anadabwa kwambiri. Iye anakhumudwa kwambiri nditasiya ntchito yapamwamba n’kuyamba ntchito ya uphunzitsi. Amandikumbutsa izi m'macheza aliwonse. ”
5. Kupulumutsa banja
Ngakhale machenjezo onse a akatswiri a zamaganizo, zolemba zambiri ndi mazana ambiri m'mabuku otchuka, timakhulupirirabe kuti maonekedwe a mwana amatha kuchiritsa maubwenzi omwe asokonezeka.
Kwa kanthawi, okwatirana akhoza kuiwaladi mavuto awo ndikuyang'ana mwana wakhanda. Koma pamapeto pake, mwanayo amakhala chifukwa china cha mikangano.
Kusemphana maganizo pankhani ya kulera ana kudakali choyambitsa chofala cha kusudzulana
“Sindinganene kuti mikangano ya m’maleredwe yathu ndi imene inatilekanitsa,” mwamuna wina wazaka zapakati anandiuza ine. “Koma analidi udzu womaliza. Mkazi wanga wakale anakana kulanga mwana wake. Anakula wosasamala komanso wosasamala. Sindinathe kuvomereza. "
Inde, chirichonse chiri payekha. Ngakhale chisankho chofuna kukhala ndi mwana sichinaganizidwe bwino, mukhoza kukhala kholo labwino. Kupatula kuti mwasankha kukhala wowona mtima ndi inu nokha ndikuphunzira kuwerengera zilakolako zosazindikira zomwe zimayendetsa khalidwe lanu.
Za Wolemba: Peg Streep ndi wofalitsa komanso wolemba mabuku ogulitsa kwambiri okhudza maubwenzi a m'banja, kuphatikizapo Amayi Oyipa: Momwe Mungagonjetsere Mavuto a Banja.