Njira 6 Zopewera Kupunthwa Pamacheza Ovuta

Kukomoka polankhula ndi liwu lochokera ku psychology yachipatala kutanthauza matenda amisala. Koma lingaliro lomwelo kaŵirikaŵiri limagwiritsiridwa ntchito ponena za kulankhula kwapadera kwa munthu wathanzi. Ndipo pamenepa, chifukwa chachikulu cha kusokonezeka koteroko ndi kukhala chete mokakamizidwa ndi maganizo.

Ndikakambirana za kutsekeka kwa mawu, ndimamva madandaulo awiri pafupipafupi kuposa ena. Makasitomala ena mwachisoni amazindikira kuti sanathe kuyankha mokwanira wotsutsa pokambirana (“Sindinadziwe choti ndiyankhe pa izi”, “Ndinangokhala chete. Ndipo tsopano ndikuda nkhawa”, “Ndikumva ngati ndadzilola ndekha. pansi"); ena amakhala ndi nkhaŵa yosalekeza ponena za kulephera kotheka (“Bwanji ngati sindingathe kuyankha funsolo?”, “Bwanji nditanena zopanda pake?”, “Bwanji ngati ndiwoneka wopusa?”).

Ngakhale anthu omwe ali ndi chidziwitso chochuluka cholankhulirana, omwe ntchito yawo ikugwirizana ndi kufunikira kolankhula zambiri ndipo nthawi zambiri, akhoza kukumana ndi vutoli. 

"Sindikudziwa momwe ndingayankhire nthawi yomweyo mawu achipongwe omwe adanenedwa kwa ine. Ndimakonda kutsamwitsidwa ndikuzizira, ndiyeno pamasitepe ndikuwona zomwe ndiyenera kunena ndi momwe ndingayankhire, "wotsogolera wotchuka Vladimir Valentinovich Menshov adagawana nawo poyankhulana. 

Mikhalidwe yofunika kwambiri pagulu: kuyankhula pagulu, kukambirana ndi makasitomala, mameneja ndi anthu ena ofunika kwa ife, otsutsana ndi nkhani zovuta. Amadziwika ndi zachilendo, kusatsimikizika komanso, ndithudi, zoopsa zamagulu. Chosasangalatsa kwambiri chomwe ndi ngozi ya «kutaya nkhope».

Ndizovuta kusalankhula, ndizovuta kukhala chete

Khalidwe lovuta kwambiri m'maganizo mwa anthu ambiri ndikukhala chete mwachidziwitso. Iyi ndi nthawi yayifupi yochita zamaganizo pomwe tikuyesa kupeza zomwe zili ndi mayankho kapena mawu athu. Ndipo sitingathe kuchita mwamsanga. Nthawi ngati zimenezi, timakhala otetezeka kwambiri.

Ngati kukhala chete koteroko kumatenga masekondi asanu kapena kuposerapo pokambirana ndi kulankhula, nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa kulephera kwa kulankhulana: kumawononga kukhudzana, kusokoneza omvera kapena omvera, ndipo kumawonjezera kukangana kwa mkati mwa wokamba nkhani. Chotsatira chake, zonsezi zingasokoneze chithunzi cha munthu amene amalankhula, ndiyeno kudzidalira kwake.

Pachikhalidwe chathu, kukhala chete kumawonedwa ngati kutaya mphamvu pakulumikizana ndipo sikumawonedwa ngati gwero. Poyerekeza, mu chikhalidwe cha Chijapani, chete, kapena timmoku, ndi njira yabwino yolankhulirana yomwe imaphatikizapo kuyankhula "popanda mawu." M'zikhalidwe za Azungu, kukhala chete kumawoneka ngati kutayika, mkangano womwe umatsimikizira kulephera kwake komanso kusachita bwino. Kuti mupulumutse nkhope, mukuwoneka ngati katswiri, muyenera kuyankha mofulumira komanso molondola, kuchedwa kulikonse kwa kulankhula sikuvomerezeka ndipo kumatengedwa ngati khalidwe losayenerera. M'malo mwake, vuto la kugona silili mulingo waluso, koma lozama kwambiri. 

Kupumira kumachitika osati m'mawu, koma m'malingaliro 

Mmodzi mwa anzanga nthawi ina adanenapo kuti chinthu chovuta kwambiri kwa iye ndi kukambirana ndi ogwira nawo ntchito pamagulu amakampani. Pamene anthu ambiri osadziwika asonkhana patebulo limodzi ndipo aliyense ayamba kugawana zambiri zaumwini: ndani ndi kuti adapumula, ndani ndi zomwe adawerenga, adawonera ...

“Ndipo maganizo anga,” iye akutero, “amaoneka ngati aundana kapena osatha kuima pamzere wamba woyenda bwino. Ndimayamba kuyankhula ndipo mwadzidzidzi ndikutayika, unyolo umasweka ... ndikupitiriza kukambirana movutikira, ndimapunthwa, ngati kuti sindikudziwa zomwe ndikunena. Sindikudziwa chifukwa chake izi zikuchitika. ”…

Tikamakambirana zinthu zofunika kwambiri, zachilendo, kapena zowopseza ulamuliro wathu, timakhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri. Dongosolo lowongolera malingaliro limayamba kulamulira dongosolo lachidziwitso. Ndipo izi zikutanthauza kuti mumkhalidwe wa kupsinjika kwakukulu kwamalingaliro, munthu amakhala ndi mphamvu zochepa zoganiza, kugwiritsa ntchito chidziwitso chake, kupanga unyolo wamalingaliro ndikuwongolera malankhulidwe ake. Tikakhala opsinjika maganizo, zimativuta kulankhula ngakhale zinthu zing’onozing’ono, osanenapo za kufotokoza zimene tachita kapena kutsimikizira munthu maganizo athu. 

Momwe mungadzithandizire kulankhula

Katswiri wa zamaganizo a m'nyumba Lev Semenovich Vygotsky, yemwe adaphunzira za kutulutsa mawu, adanena kuti ndondomeko yathu yolankhulira (zomwe ndi momwe tikukonzekera kunena) ndizovuta kwambiri. Iye "amafanana ndi mtambo umene ukhoza kusanduka nthunzi, kapena ukhoza kugwetsa mawu." Ndipo ntchito ya wokamba nkhani, kupitiriza fanizo la wasayansi, ndi kupanga nyengo yoyenera kwa mbadwo wa kulankhula. Bwanji?

Tengani nthawi yodzikonzera nokha

Zokambirana zonse zopambana zimayamba m'maganizo mwa oyankhulana ngakhale asanakumane. Kulowa mukulankhulana kovutirapo ndi malingaliro osokonekera, osasinthika ndikosasamala. Pachifukwa ichi, ngakhale chinthu chodetsa nkhawa kwambiri (mwachitsanzo, chitseko chotseguka muofesi) chingayambitse kulephera kwa kulankhulana komwe wokamba nkhaniyo sangachiritse. Kuti musasocheretse mukakambirana movutikira kapena kuti muthenso kuyankhula ngati mukupunthwa, tengani mphindi zingapo kuti mumvetsere kwa wolankhulayo komanso wolankhula naye. Khalani chete. Dzifunseni mafunso osavuta. Kodi cholinga cha zokambirana zanga ndi chiyani? Kodi ndingalankhule kuchokera pa udindo wanji (mayi, wocheperapo, bwana, mlangizi)? Kodi ndili ndi udindo wotani pazokambiranazi? Ndilankhule ndi ndani? Kodi tingayembekezere chiyani kwa munthuyu kapena omvera? Kuti mudzilimbikitse mkati, kumbukirani luso lanu loyankhulana bwino. 

Pangani mkhalidwewo kukhala wodziwika bwino momwe mungathere

Ndi chinthu chachilendo chomwe chimayambitsa kulephera kwa mawu. Mphunzitsi wodziwa bwino amatha kulankhulana bwino ndi anzake kapena ophunzira pa nkhani za sayansi, koma pamitu yomweyi adzasokonezedwa, mwachitsanzo, ndi wogwira ntchito pafakitale. Mikhalidwe yachilendo kapena yachilendo yolankhulirana (wothandizira watsopano, malo osadziwika bwino, zochitika zosayembekezereka za wotsutsa) zimabweretsa kupsinjika maganizo ndipo, chifukwa chake, kulephera kwa chidziwitso ndi kulankhula. Kuti muchepetse vuto la kugona, ndikofunikira kuti kulumikizana kukhale kodziwika bwino momwe mungathere. Tangoganizani interlocutor, malo olankhulirana. Dzifunseni nokha za zotheka mphamvu majeure, ganizirani njira zowachotsera iwo pasadakhale. 

Yang'anani wolankhulayo ngati munthu wamba 

Pokambirana zovuta, anthu nthawi zambiri amapereka mphamvu kwa ophatikizana awo: mwina kuwakwaniritsa ("Iye ndi wokongola kwambiri, wanzeru kwambiri, ine sindine kanthu pomuyerekeza ndi iye") kapena kuwachitira ziwanda ("Iye ndi woopsa, ndi wapoizoni, amandifunira zabwino. zovulaza, zimandipweteka "). Chithunzi chabwino mopambanitsa kapena choipa mopambanitsa cha mnzako m’maganizo mwa munthu chimasanduka choyambitsa ndi kukulitsa kukhudzika kwamalingaliro ndi kudzetsa chipwirikiti m’maganizo ndi kugwedezeka.

Kuti musagwere pansi pa chikoka cha chithunzi chosamanga cha interlocutor ndipo pachabe kuti musadzinyenge nokha, ndikofunika kuti muwone bwinobwino mdani wanu. Dzikumbutseni kuti uyu ndi munthu wamba yemwe ali wamphamvu mwanjira zina, wofooka mwanjira zina, wowopsa mwanjira zina, wothandiza mwanjira zina. Mafunso apadera adzakuthandizani kumvetsera kwa interlocutor inayake. Wondiyankhula ndi ndani? Kodi chofunika n’chiyani kwa iye? Kodi akuyesetsa kuchita chiyani? Kodi nthawi zambiri amagwiritsa ntchito njira yanji yolankhulirana? 

Siyani malingaliro omwe amabweretsa kupsinjika kwamalingaliro

“Ndikaona kuti sinditha kutchula bwino liwu kapena liwu, ndimaopa kusochera. Ndipo, ndithudi, ndimasokonezeka. Ndipo zidakhala kuti kulosera kwanga kukukwaniritsidwa, "m'modzi mwamakasitomala anga adanenanso. M'badwo wa ziganizo ndi njira yovuta yamalingaliro yomwe imatsekeka mosavuta mwina ndi malingaliro olakwika kapena ziyembekezo zosayembekezereka.

Kuti mukhalebe ndi luso la kulankhula, m’pofunika kusintha maganizo osalimbikitsa m’kupita kwa nthaŵi ndi kudzichotsera thayo losafunika. Zomwe ziyenera kusiyidwa: kuchokera pazotsatira zabwino zamalankhulidwe ("Ndilankhula popanda kulakwitsa kamodzi"), kuchokera pazowoneka bwino ("Tidzavomereza pamsonkhano woyamba"), kudalira kuwunika kwa anthu akunja ("Kodi chitani? amandiganizira ine!”). Mukangodzichotsera udindo pazinthu zomwe sizikudalira inu, zimakhala zosavuta kulankhula.

Unikani zokambirana m’njira yoyenera 

Kusinkhasinkha koyenera sikumangothandiza kuphunzira zomwe zachitika ndikukonzekera kukambirana kotsatira, komanso kumakhala ngati maziko opangira chidaliro pakulankhulana. Anthu ambiri amalankhula zoipa ponena za kulephera kwawo kulankhula komanso ponena za iwo eni monga otenga nawo mbali pa kulankhulana. “Nthawi zonse ndimakhala ndi nkhawa. Sindingathe kulumikiza mawu awiri. Ndimalakwitsa nthawi zonse,” iwo akutero. Chifukwa chake, anthu amapanga ndikulimbitsa chithunzi cha iwo eni ngati wolankhula wosachita bwino. Ndipo chifukwa cha kudzikonda koteroko sikungatheke kulankhula molimba mtima komanso popanda kukangana. Kudziwonera koyipa kumapangitsanso kuti munthu ayambe kupeŵa zochitika zambiri zolankhulirana, amadziletsa kuchita zolankhula - ndikudziyendetsa yekha mu bwalo loyipa. Posanthula zokambirana kapena zolankhula, ndikofunikira kuchita zinthu zitatu: zindikirani zomwe sizinachitike, komanso zomwe zidayenda bwino, komanso ganizirani zamtsogolo.

Wonjezerani mndandanda wa zochitika ndi machitidwe amawu 

Pazovuta, zimakhala zovuta kuti tipange mawu oyambira, nthawi zambiri palibe malingaliro okwanira pa izi. Chifukwa chake, ndikofunikira kwambiri kupanga njira zolankhulirana zovuta zolumikizirana. Mwachitsanzo, mutha kupeza pasadakhale kapena kupanga mayankho anu a mafunso osokonekera, ma templates a ndemanga ndi nthabwala zomwe zingakhale zothandiza kwa inu mukakambirana pang'ono, ma templates otanthauzira malingaliro ovuta a akatswiri ... Sikokwanira kuwerenga mawu awa. kwa inu nokha kapena zilembeni. Ayenera kulankhulidwa, makamaka pakulankhulana kwenikweni.

Aliyense, ngakhale wokamba nkhani wodziwa zambiri, akhoza kusokonezedwa ndi mafunso osasangalatsa kapena ovuta, mawu aukali a interlocutor ndi chisokonezo chawo. Munthawi ya kulephera kwa mawu, ndikofunikira kwambiri kuposa kale kukhala kumbali yanu, kusakonda kudzidzudzula, koma kudzilangiza komanso kuchita. Ndipo pamenepa, mtambo wanu wamalingaliro udzagwetsa mawu.