Muzu wa mavuto aliwonse a m’banja amaonedwa kukhala mavuto a kulankhulana pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi wake. Anthu okwatirana amaika vuto la kulankhulana patsogolo pa zimene zimayambitsa kusamvana. Koma zifukwa zimafika mozama, akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Kelly Flanagan.
Kuvuta kulankhulana m’banja sikuyambitsa, koma chifukwa cha vuto linalake. Koma okwatirana nthawi zambiri amabwera ku ofesi ya psychotherapist ndi cholinga chomveka chothetsera mavuto oyankhulana, osati zomwe zimawapangitsa.
Tangoganizani mwana akuvutitsidwa pabwalo lamasewera ndi ana ena, kotero kuti nkhondo inatha. Pakati pa kumenyana, mphunzitsi amabwera ndikupanga malingaliro olakwika: mnyamatayo ndiye woyambitsa, ayenera kulangidwa, ngakhale adangoyankha zochita za anthu ena. Zomwezo zimachitikanso ndi ubale wabanja. Zovuta kulankhulana - yemweyo mnyamata, koma instigators woona wa «kumenyana».
1. Timakwatirana chifukwa timakonda wosankhidwayo. Koma anthu amasintha. Taganizirani izi. Mukapita m’kanjira, musamaganizire zimene bwenzi lanu lilili panopa kapena zimene mukufuna kudzamuona m’tsogolo, koma zimene akufuna kudzakhala. Muthandizeni pa kukhala uku monga momwe iye angakuthandizireni inu.
2. Ukwati si njira yothetsera kusungulumwa. Kusungulumwa ndi chikhalidwe chachibadwa cha munthu. Ukwati sungathe kutichotseratu, ndipo pamene timva, timayamba kuimba mlandu wokondedwa wathu kapena kufunafuna ubwenzi wapamtima. M’moyo wa m’banja, anthu amangogawana kusungulumwa pakati pa aŵiri, ndipo m’chigwirizano chimenechi chimatha. Osachepera kwa kanthawi.
3. Katundu wamanyazi. Ife tonse tikumukoka iye limodzi. Kwa ambiri a unyamata, timayesa kunamizira kuti kulibe, ndipo pamene mnzathu mwangozi abweretsa kukumbukira zomwe takumana nazo zamanyazi, timawaimba mlandu chifukwa choyambitsa malingaliro osasangalatsawa. Koma mnzakeyo alibe chochita nazo. Iye sangakhoze kuchikonza icho. Nthawi zina chithandizo chabwino kwambiri chabanja ndi chithandizo chamunthu payekhapayekha, pomwe timaphunzira kugwira ntchito mwamanyazi m'malo mongowonetsera kwa omwe timawakonda.
4. Ego wathu akufuna kupambana.. Kuyambira ndili mwana, kudzikuza kwakhala ngati chitetezo kwa ife, kumatithandiza kupulumuka chipongwe ndi nkhonya zamtsogolo. Koma m’banja ndi khoma limene limalekanitsa okwatirana. Yakwana nthawi yoti tiwononge. M'malo mwa njira zodzitchinjiriza ndi moona mtima, kubwezera ndi kukhululuka, kulakwa ndi kupepesa, nyonga ndi kusatetezeka, ndi ulamuliro mwachifundo.
5. Moyo wonse ndi chinthu chosokoneza; ndipo ukwati ndi chimodzimodzi. Zinthu zikapanda kutiyendera, nthawi zambiri timaimba mlandu mnzathuyo. Lekani kulozana zala, ndi bwino kugwirana chanza ndikuyang'ana njira yotulutsira zinthu pamodzi. Mukatero mutha kudutsamo zokwera ndi zotsika limodzi. Palibe mlandu kapena manyazi.
6. Chifundo n'chovuta. Chifundo pakati pa anthu awiri sichimangochitika, pakokha. Winawake ayenera kuwonetsa poyamba, koma ichi sichingakhale chitsimikizo cha kuyankha. Muyenera kutenga zoopsa, kupereka nsembe. Choncho, ambiri amayembekezera kuti winayo atenge sitepe yoyamba. Nthawi zambiri, okwatirana amaimirira moyang'anizana ndi wina ndi mnzake. Ndipo pamene mmodzi wa iwo asankha, pafupifupi nthawi zonse amalowa m'madzi.
Zoyenera kuchita: amene timawakonda ndi opanda ungwiro, sadzakhala kalirole wangwiro kwa ife. Kodi sitingawakonde chifukwa cha mmene iwo alili ndi kukhala oyamba kusonyeza chifundo?
7. Timasamala kwambiri za ana athu.kuposa za iwo amene anabadwira iwo. Koma ana sayenera kukhala ofunikira kwambiri kapena ochepera kuposa ukwati - ayi! Poyamba, amamva nthawi yomweyo ndikuyamba kuzigwiritsa ntchito, zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano pakati pathu. Chachiwiri, adzayesa kukulandani. Banja ndi kufufuza kosalekeza kwa kulinganiza.
8. Kumenyera ulamuliro mobisika. Mikangano ya m’mabanja mwa mbali yake ndiyo kukambitsirana za kukula kwa kudalirana kwa okwatirana. Amuna nthawi zambiri amafuna kuti ikhale yaying'ono. Akazi ndi osiyana. Nthawi zina amasinthana maudindo. Mukayang'ana ndewu zambiri, mutha kuwona funso lobisika: ndani amasankha kuti ndi ufulu wotani womwe timapereka wina ndi mnzake mu maubwenzi awa? Ngati funsoli silifunsidwa mwachindunji, liyambitsa mikangano mwanjira ina.
9. Sitikumvetsetsanso momwe tingakhalirebe chidwi ndi chinthu kapena munthu payekha. M'dziko lamakono, chidwi chathu chimabalalika pa zinthu miliyoni. Tidazolowera kudumphadumpha pamwamba osayang'ana zomwe zili, ndikupitilira tikatopa. Ndicho chifukwa chake kusinkhasinkha kuli kofunika kwambiri kwa ife - luso lolondolera chidwi chathu chonse ku chinthu chimodzi, ndiyeno, pamene tasokonezedwa mwachisawawa, bwererani kwa icho mobwerezabwereza.
Koma pambuyo pake, moyo wa m’banja ukhoza kukhala kusinkhasinkha za munthu amene timam’konda. Izi ndizofunikira kwambiri kuti mgwirizano ukhale wautali komanso wosangalatsa.
Katswiri wa zachipatala angaphunzitse mwamuna ndi mkazi kulankhulana bwinobwino pa ola limodzi. Sizovuta. Koma zingatenge moyo wonse kulimbana ndi zimene zimayambitsa mavuto a m’banja.
Ndipo komabe moyo umatiphunzitsa chikondi. Amatitembenuza kukhala omwe amatha kunyamula kusungulumwa, saopa manyazi, amamanga milatho kuchokera kumakoma, amasangalala ndi mwayi wosokonezeka m'dziko lopenga lino, amaika chiopsezo chotenga sitepe yoyamba ndikukhululukira zoyembekeza zopanda chilungamo, zikondano. aliyense mofanana, amafunafuna ndi kupeza zosagwirizana, komanso amadzipereka nokha ku chinachake kapena winawake.
Ndipo moyo umenewo ndi wofunika kuumenyera.