Kodi kumverera uku kumachokera kuti - "Sindine woyenera kukhala ndi moyo wabwino / chikondi chenicheni / moyo wabwino"? Kapena kukhulupirira kuti “ndilibe kuyenera kwa kukhala wosangalala, kungovutika ndi kusirira ena”? Ndipo kodi n’zotheka kusintha chikhulupiriro chimenechi ndi kuphunzira kusangalala ndi zimene zikuchitika? Katswiri wa zamaganizo Robert Taibbi amalankhula za izi.
Sikuti aliyense ali wokonzeka kuvomereza mwachindunji kuti asiya chikhumbo chofuna kukhala osangalala. Ndipo koposa zonse, si aliyense amene angatchule tsiku lenileni limene izo zinachitika. Anthuwa ali ngati watsoka Secret Service agent yemwe, zaka 40 pambuyo pa kuphedwa kwa John F. Kennedy, adavomereza poyankhulana kuti sangadzikhululukire chifukwa cha kuchedwa, zomwe, m'malingaliro ake, zinayambitsa tsokalo.
Chikhulupiriro chakuti munthu sali woyenerera kukhala wosangalala kaŵirikaŵiri chimapita mobisa ndipo chimasokoneza zoyesayesa zilizonse zofuna kusangalala ndi moyo. Munthu woteroyo amakhala ndi zolimbitsa thupi, koma panthawi imodzimodziyo kuvutika maganizo kosatha, sikudutsa tsiku loyamba laubwenzi, ndipo ngati ali ndi zokonda ndi zosangalatsa, sayesa ngakhale kuzizindikira.
Mosakayika, amakhala ndi nkhawa, koma sangatchule gwero lake. Kaya munthu woteroyo akudziwa zomwe zikuchitika kapena ayi, zotsatira zake zimakhala zofanana - pali kukokoloka kwa moyo pang'onopang'ono koma kosasinthika.
Magwero enieni odziwononga
Machimo akale
Tikayang’ana m’mbuyo pa moyo wake, munthu amangoona zoipa zimene anachita komanso anthu amene anawakhumudwitsa. Moyo wake ndi mbiri ya chiwonongeko ndi chisoni. Kudziimba mlandu ndi chisoni ndizo zomverera zake zazikulu. Tsoka ndi chilango cha moyo wonse chomwe adasankha modzifunira kukhala nacho.
Kulakwa kwa Wopulumuka
Amapasa a Elvis Presley anamwalira atangobadwa kumene, ndipo Elvis akuti nthawi zonse ankadandaula chifukwa chokhala ndi moyo pamene mapasa ake sanatero. Kulakwa kwa wopulumukayo mwina kumavutitsa wothandizira wa Secret Service Kennedy yemweyo, ndi omwe adapulumuka ngozi za ndege, ndi madokotala, opulumutsa, ozimitsa moto omwe amakhulupirira kuti sanachite zokwanira kuti apulumutse wovulalayo. Kudziimba mlandu nthawi zambiri kumatsagana ndi PTSD.
kuvulazidwa
Azimayi omwe anachitidwa nkhanza zogonana ali ana amakhala ndi maganizo opitirizabe kuti ndi "odetsedwa". Amadziona kukhala osayenera kukhala ndi ana. Kupwetekedwa mtima paubwana sikungosiya zipsera zamaganizo, kumapanga chithunzithunzi cholakwika mwa mwanayo. Amakhala ndi liwongo, ndi mantha kuti chiwawa chidzachitikanso, amawona dziko lapansi kukhala lopanda chitetezo, lomwe limalepheretsa kuwona pang'ono kwa chisangalalo.
nkhawa ya makolo
Kholo limakhala losangalala ngati mwana wake wosasangalala. Ambiri aphunzira zimenezi pa zimene zawachitikira. The makolo mbali si wolumala pa tsiku mwana akutembenukira 18. Choncho, nkhawa zathu, nthawi zina kudzimva wolakwa ndi wopanda thandizo akhoza kukhala maziko nthawi zonse, cholemetsa m'moyo watsiku ndi tsiku.
Kudziwonetsera wovuta
Anthu amene nthawi zonse amadzidzudzula amakhala osalakwitsa chilichonse. Nthawi zambiri amachitiridwa nkhanza ali ana ndipo adalandira malingaliro oyipa kwambiri kuchokera kwa makolo awo, ndipo akakula, amakhala pansi pa chitsime ndipo sangathe kutulukamo. Koma ngati chimwemwe chili chozikidwa pa chimene inu muli, ndi chimene inu muli chizikidwa pa zimene mumachita, ndi kuchita izo mwangwiro, ndiye kuti moyo wachisangalalo suli wofikirika kwa inu.
Nthawi zina mumakwanitsa kukwaniritsa cholinga chanu, koma nthawi zambiri mumalephera. Zomwe mwatsala nazo ndi mawu okwiya m'mutu mwanu akukukumbutsani kuti mwakhumudwanso, kuti ndinu wolephera ndipo simudzakhala bwino. Kufuna kuchita zinthu mwangwiro koteroko ndiko njira yabwino yothetsera kusasangalala kosatha.
Kudzimva wolakwa chifukwa chokhala wosangalala
“Ndimadziimba mlandu chifukwa choseka komanso kukhala wosangalala. Ndakhala ndikuvutika maganizo kwa nthawi yaitali ndipo tsopano ndikuwopa kuti omwe ali pafupi ndi ine sangamvetse ngati awona kuti ndikuchita bwino - angaganize kuti ndinawanyenga, "anthu ambiri amaganiza choncho.
Ngati kusasangalala kwakhala kozolowereka kwa inu, ngati mumadziona nokha ndikudziyika nokha pamaso pa ena ngati munthu wosasangalala, ndiye kuti ngakhale kumverera kwaufupi kukhala wolemera ndi wokondwa kungayambitse nkhawa ndi kusasangalala. Zili ngati simungakwanitse kusangalala ndi mphindi zachisangalalo chifukwa mumangoyamba kudziimba mlandu komanso kuda nkhawa.
Chimwemwe Choyenera
Nawa maupangiri amomwe mungasiyire zolemetsa zakale ndikulola chisangalalo m'moyo wanu:
konzani
Kodi mumanong'oneza bondo mokakamiza, kudziimba mlandu, kapena kupwetekedwa mtima komwe kumakulepheretsani kukhala osangalala ndikufuna kupeza njira yothetsera vutoli? Tumizani kalata kwa munthu amene mukuona kuti mwamulakwira ndi kupepesa chifukwa cholakwacho. Ngati munthuyo watayika kapena munthuyo palibe, lembani kalata. Khalani ndi mtundu wa mwambo wotseka, mchitidwe wodzimvera chisoni, kuvomereza papakamwa zomwe zachitika. Izi zikuthandizani kuti muthane nazo ndikutsimikizira kuti zonse zatha tsopano.
Zindikirani kuti munachita zonse zomwe mungathe
Inde, iyi ndi ntchito yovuta. Ndi chifukwa chakuti mumaganiza kuti simunachite zomwe mungathe - m'mbuyomo kapena mu ubale ndi ana - tsopano mukumva ululu. Ngakhale kuti simungathe kusintha maganizo anu, mukhoza kusintha maganizo anu. Ndipo iyi ndiyo ntchito yaikulu. Ganizirani kuti mwachita zomwe mungathe. Yang'anani m'mbuyomu kudzera m'mawonekedwe apano.
Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti panthawiyo mukuchita zonse zomwe mungathe, kutengera zaka zanu, zomwe mwakumana nazo komanso luso lothana ndi vutoli. Izi zitenga nthawi. Koma musabwerere mmbuyo. Dziuzeni kuti mukufuna kuganiza choncho. Ayi, simumva bwino nthawi yomweyo, koma pakapita nthawi mudzayamba kusintha nkhani yomwe mwakhala mukudziwuza kwa nthawi yayitali.
Yambani ndi zoopsa
Zingakhale zovuta kwambiri kuti mufike pazochitika zazikulu zowawa nokha, ndipo apa ndizothandiza kukomana ndi wothandizira yemwe angakuthandizeni kudutsa njira yochiritsira ndikupirira zotsatira zake.
Gwirani ntchito modzidzudzula
Liwu lamkati limangobwerezabwereza kunena kuti zomwe mwachita kapena zomwe simunachite ndi vuto lalikulu, ndipo njira yokhayo yothetsera vutoli ndiyo kuyesetsa kwambiri. Koma vuto lenileni siliri mu zochita zanu, koma kudzizunza komwe kumawononga moyo. Apa, monga momwe zilili ndi zoopsa, kugwira ntchito ndi dokotala kukuphunzitsani momwe mungasinthire malingaliro anu.
Gwirani ntchito ndi nkhawa komanso / kapena kukhumudwa
Vuto lamuyaya: chimabwera choyamba ndi chiyani? Kukhumudwa kwambiri komanso / kapena kuchulukirachulukira kumapangitsa kuti ubongo uzisewera "zojambula" zakale? Kapena kodi mukuvutika maganizo ndi kuda nkhawa chifukwa chakuti simungathe kuchotsa maganizo oipa? Izi sizovuta kuzizindikira nthawi zonse. Ngati malingaliro anu okhudza zochitika zakale abwera ndikupita, mutha kuwona zomwe zimawayambitsa masana.
Kulingalira kumakhala mtundu wa mbendera zofiira zomwe zimamveketsa bwino zomwe ziyenera kuperekedwa. Kumbali ina, ngati malingaliro ndi malingaliro oterowo ali limodzi ndi kupsinjika maganizo kosalekeza kapena kuda nkhaŵa, ichi chingakhale chizindikiro cha matenda. Muyenera kulankhula ndi dokotala wanu za mankhwala omwe angatheke ndikuwona momwe zimakhudzira malingaliro anu ndi maganizo anu.
Zochitika zamtsogolo
Zomwe magwero onsewa amafanana ndikuti adakakamira - m'mbuyomu, masiku ano. Kukhazikika mumalingaliro ndi njira zolingalira. Kusintha malingaliro, kuthana ndi zowawa, kusiya kudziimba mlandu kungathandize kukonzanso machitidwe akale. Mukhozanso kupeza njira zatsopano zochitira zinthu. Mwachitsanzo, zimachitika kuti anthu amene amachitiridwa nkhanza amayamba kugwira ntchito yopezera ndalama zothandizira anthu ena omwe azunzidwa.
Ena mwachidziwitso amasintha zomwe amafunikira komanso zomwe amaika patsogolo kuti apange ubale wachifundo ndi iwo eni komanso ena. Inunso mukhoza kusintha zochita zanu ndi zikhulupiriro zanu. Makamaka, ponena za mfundo yakuti simuyenera kusangalala. Chimwemwe ndi chotulukapo cha moyo wokhutiritsa wodzisamalira ndi kukhululuka umene umayamba ndi zolinga ndi zochita zadala. Kupatula apo, ngati sichoncho tsopano, ndiye liti?
Za Mlembi: Robert Taibbi ndi wogwira ntchito zachipatala yemwe ali ndi zaka 42 monga woyang'anira zachipatala. Amapereka maphunziro a chithandizo cha maanja, chithandizo cha mabanja, chithandizo chachidule komanso kuyang'anira zachipatala. Wolemba mabuku 11 a uphungu wamaganizidwe.