Zamkatimu
- Makolo: Kodi tingafotokoze bwanji kuwonjezeka kwa chiwerengero cha kulekana pambuyo pa kubadwa kwa mwana woyamba?
- Kodi okwatirana amene amakhalapo ndi amene anakonzekera kubadwa, amene m’lingaliro lina anali “okhwima”?
- Kodi maanja omwe akulota amakhala ndi mbiri yofanana?
- Kusakhulupirika nthawi zambiri n’kumene kumachititsa kuti banja lithe. Kodi maanja omwe adamaliza sanakhudzidwe? Kapena amavomereza bwino "mipata" iyi?
- Ngati zinthu zasokonekera, mungatani kuti mukhale ndi malire?
- Kodi tiyenera kuchita chiyani kuti tikhalebe limodzi? Mtundu wina wabwino? Ubale wamphamvu kuposa chizoloŵezi? Osawayika awiriwa pamwamba pa china chilichonse?
Makolo: Kodi tingafotokoze bwanji kuwonjezeka kwa chiwerengero cha kulekana pambuyo pa kubadwa kwa mwana woyamba?
Bernard Geberowicz: Kubadwa kwa mwana woyamba, mochedwa kuposa kale, kumayesa miyoyo ya mamembala a banjali. Zosautsazi ndi zamkati mwa aliyense, zaubale (mkati mwa awiriwa), banja komanso akatswiri azachikhalidwe. Okwatirana ambiri amapeza pang’onopang’ono njira yatsopano. Ena amazindikira kuti zolinga zawo zinali zosemphana ndipo amapita kosiyana. Zitsanzo zomwe aliyense wapanga, ndithudi, zimathandizira pa chisankho chosiyana. Kodi ndi chinthu chabwino kuganizira mwachangu kupatukana ngati njira yothetsera kusamvana kulikonse paubwenzi? Ndikuganiza kuti ndikofunikira kuganiza mozama musanayambe "kulimba mtima" kupatukana. Kutsekera m'banja lokakamizidwa sikulinso, banja la "Kleenex" silili chitsanzo cholimbikitsanso, kuyambira pamene munthu atenga udindo wokhala ndi mwana ndi wina.
Kodi okwatirana amene amakhalapo ndi amene anakonzekera kubadwa, amene m’lingaliro lina anali “okhwima”?
BG: Tingakonzekere kukhala makolo. Phunzirani kumvetserana wina ndi mzake, kulankhulana wina ndi mzake, phunzirani kufunsa ndi kupanga zofunika zina osati mwachitonzo. Kuyimitsa kulera, mimba, kulota ndikulota ndi nthawi yabwino yochitira ntchitoyi ndikusamalira ena ndi ubale.
Koma okwatirana “sakhwima” kuti akhale ndi mwana. Ndikonso kudziwana ndi mwanayo kuti timaphunzira kukhala kholo komanso kuti timakhala ogwirizana ndi "gulu la makolo".
"Un amour au longue cours", buku logwira mtima lomwe likunena zoona
Kodi mawu amapulumutsa nthawi? Kodi tingathe kulamulira chikhumbo? Kodi okwatirana anganyalanyaze bwanji chizoloŵezicho? M'buku la epistolary ili, Anaïs ndi Franck amafunsana ndikuyankhana wina ndi mzake, kudzutsa kukumbukira kwawo, zovuta zawo, kukayikira kwawo. Nkhani yawo ikufanana ndi ena ambiri: msonkhano, ukwati, ana omwe amabadwa ndikukula. Kenako mafunde oyipa oyamba, kuvutikira kumvetsetsana, kuyesa kusakhulupirika ... Koma Anaïs ndi Franck ali ndi chida: chikhulupiriro chenicheni, chosalekeza m'chikondi chawo. Iwo adalembanso "Constitution of the banja", atapaka pa furiji, zomwe zimapangitsa abwenzi awo kumwetulira, komanso zomwe nkhani zake zimamveka ngati mndandanda wazomwe zikuchitika pa Januware 1: Ndime 1, musadzudzule winayo akakhala. samalirani mwana - Ndime 5, musauzane chilichonse - Ndime 7, sonkhanani madzulo pa sabata, sabata imodzi pamwezi, sabata imodzi pachaka. Komanso nkhani yowolowa manja 10: vomerezani zofooka za winayo, mumuthandize pa chilichonse.
Motsogozedwa ndi mawu okoma awa olembedwa pamasamba, Anaïs ndi Franck amadzutsa moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, kuyesa zenizeni, ana awo aakazi omwe akukula, chilichonse chomwe timachitcha "moyo wabanja" ndi omwe ali moyo waufupi. Ndi gawo lake losatheka, lopenga, "lopanda kuwongolera". Ndipo ndani amene adzatha kubereka, wamaliseche ndi wokondwa, ku chikhumbo chofuna kuyamba pamodzi. F. Payen
"Chikondi cha nthawi yayitali", ndi Jean-Sébastien Hongre, ed. Anne Carrière, € 17.
Kodi maanja omwe akulota amakhala ndi mbiri yofanana?
BG: Sindikhulupirira kuti pali njira iliyonse yodziwiratu moyo waubwenzi. Amene amadzisankha okha mwa kutchula zofunikira zofanana sadziwa kuti apambana. Amene anakhala ndi moyo kwa nthawi yaitali mu njira "yosokoneza" kwambiri asanakhale makolo akhoza kusokonezedwa ndi kuphulika kwa thovu ndi kutuluka kwa awiri mpaka atatu. Maanja omwe "amasiyana kwambiri" nthawi zina amakhala ndi vuto lokhalitsa.
Mosasamala kanthu za kumene makolo awo anakulira ndi kumene anakulira, aliyense ayenera kukhala wokonzekera kulingalira kuti “palibe chimene chidzakhalanso chofanana, ndipo chabwino koposa”! Komanso, pamene okwatiranawo amadzimva kukhala olimba (m'maso mwawo ndi achibale awo ndi mabanja awo), m'pamenenso chiopsezo cha mkangano chimachepa.
Kusakhulupirika nthawi zambiri n’kumene kumachititsa kuti banja lithe. Kodi maanja omwe adamaliza sanakhudzidwe? Kapena amavomereza bwino "mipata" iyi?
BG: Bodza limapweteka kwambiri kuposa kusakhulupirika. Amatsogolera kutaya chidaliro mwa winayo, komanso mwa iwe mwini, choncho mu kulimba kwa mgwirizano. Mabanja omwe amatha, pambuyo pake, ndi omwe amatha "kukhala ndi" zowawa izi, ndipo amatha kuchira mu chikhulupiliro ndi chikhumbo chofanana chobwezeretsanso chiyanjano. Mwachidule, ndikutenga udindo pazosankha zanu, kudziwa kupempha ndi kukhululukidwa, osati kupangitsa ena kukhala ndi udindo pa zochita zawo.
Ngati zinthu zasokonekera, mungatani kuti mukhale ndi malire?
BG: Ngakhale zisanachitike, okwatirana amakhala ndi chidwi chopeza nthawi yolankhulana, kufotokoza, kumvetserana, kufuna kumvetsetsana. Pambuyo pa kubadwa kwa mwana, kukonzanso ubwenzi wa awiri ndikofunikira. Sitiyenera kuyembekezera mlungu wa tchuthi pamodzi (zomwe sitizitenga kawirikawiri kumayambiriro) koma yesetsani, kunyumba, kuteteza madzulo angapo, pamene mwanayo akugona, kudula zowonetsera ndikukhala pamodzi. Samalani, ngati aliyense wa mamembala akugwira ntchito mochuluka, ndi maulendo otopa, ndi "zibangili zamagetsi" zomwe zimawagwirizanitsa ndi dziko la akatswiri madzulo ndi kumapeto kwa sabata, izi zimachepetsa kupezeka kwa wina ndi mzake (komanso ndi mwana). Kudziwanso, kugonana sikungathe kubwereranso pamwamba pa masabata omwe amatsatira kubwera kwa mwana. Mu funso, kutopa kwa aliyense, kutengeka maganizo kwa mwanayo, zotsatira za kubadwa kwa mwana, kusintha kwa mahomoni. Koma kugwirizana, kuyandikana kwachikondi, chikhumbo chokumana pamodzi chimapangitsa chikhumbo kukhala chamoyo. Osati kusaka kwa magwiridwe antchito, kapena kufunikira kokhala "pamwamba" kapena malingaliro oyipa obwerera ku "monga kale"!
Kodi tiyenera kuchita chiyani kuti tikhalebe limodzi? Mtundu wina wabwino? Ubale wamphamvu kuposa chizoloŵezi? Osawayika awiriwa pamwamba pa china chilichonse?
BG: Chizoloŵezi sichimalepheretsa, malinga ngati tikudziwa kuti moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku uli ndi mbali ya zinthu zobwerezabwereza. Zili kwa aliyense kuti azitha kuwongolera moyo uno ndi mphindi zamphamvu, nthawi zophatikizika, ubale wapamtima. Osati kukhala ndi malingaliro osatheka, koma kudziwa kukhala wovuta kwa iwe mwini komanso ndi ena. Kulumikizana ndi kulumikizana ndikofunikira. Koma komanso kuthekera kowunikira nthawi zabwino, zomwe zikuyenda bwino osati zolakwika ndi zolakwa zokha.