Zowopsya, ulendo, nkhani yachikondi kapena fanizo lanzeru - maloto ndi osiyana kwambiri. Ndipo zonsezi zingatithandize kuyenda m’moyo weniweni. Pali njira zambiri zowamasulira, ndipo zambiri zingakhale zothandiza pogwira nawo ntchito panokha. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Kevin Anderson amapereka maphunziro ndi malangizo kwa iwo omwe akufuna kumvetsetsa maloto awo.
“Ndakhala ndikulota maloto odabwitsa kwambiri posachedwapa. Simaloto owopsa, kungoti ndikulota chinthu chosamvetsetseka moti ndimayamba kukayikira ngati zonse zili bwino ndi ine. Mwachitsanzo, posachedwapa ndinalota munthu wina atandiuza kuti: “Sindikukhulupirira kuti unapita kumanda wekha. Zimadziwika kuti dzanja lodulidwa kumanda limawola ndikutulutsa mpweya wapoizoni. Kodi ndiyenera kuyang'ana tanthauzo la zinyalala zotere? Ndikudziwa kuti akatswiri azamisala amawona maloto kukhala ofunika, koma amandiwopsa, "adatero m'modzi mwamakasitomala kwa katswiri wazamisala Kevin Anderson.
Asayansi ambiri amatcha nthano za maloto zomwe zimapangidwa chifukwa cha zochitika zachisawawa za ma cell aubongo pogona. Koma lingaliro limeneli siliri lomveka mofanana ndi zomwe Freud ananena kuti maloto ndi khomo lolowera ku chikomokere. Akatswiri akukanganabe ngati maloto amatanthauza chinthu chofunikira ndipo, ngati ndi choncho, ndi chiyani kwenikweni. Komabe, palibe amene amakana kuti maloto ndi gawo la zochitika zathu. Anderson amakhulupirira kuti ndife omasuka kuganiza mozama za iwo kuti tipeze mfundo, kukula kapena kuchiritsa.
Kwa zaka pafupifupi 35, wakhala akumvetsera nkhani za odwala za maloto awo ndipo sasiya kudabwa ndi nzeru zodabwitsa zomwe anthu osadziwa amawulutsa kudzera m'masewero aumwini, omwe amadziwika kuti ndi maloto. Mmodzi mwa makasitomala ake anali munthu amene nthawi zonse ankadziyerekezera ndi bambo ake. M'maloto ake, adakwera pamwamba pansanja kuti ayang'ane abambo ake ndikuwona kuti ... ali pamwamba. Kenako anatembenukira kwa amayi ake atayima pansi: “Kodi ndingatsike? Atakambirana za malotowa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo, adasiya ntchito yomwe ankaganiza kuti abambo ake angasangalale nayo ndipo anapita njira yake.
Zizindikiro zochititsa chidwi zimatha kuwoneka m'maloto. Mnyamata wina wokwatira analota kuti chivomezi chinasakaza kachisi m’tauni yakwawo. Anadutsa m'zibwinja ndi kukuwa, "Kodi alipo pano?" Mu gawo, Kevin Anderson adapeza kuti mkazi wa kasitomala wake akhoza kukhala ndi pakati. Kukambitsirana kwa okwatirana za momwe moyo wawo udzasinthire pambuyo pa kubadwa kwa mwana kunatsogolera ku kulenga mophiphiritsira makonzedwe a malingaliro awa m'maloto.
“Pamene ndinali kulimbana ndi kabuku kanga, sindinathe kusankha mwanjira iriyonse funso lofunika: kaya kusankha malo a “ndalama” kapena kubwerera kumudzi kwathu ndi mkazi wanga ndi kukapeza ntchito kumeneko m’chimodzi mwa zipatala. Panthaŵi imeneyi ndinali ndi loto limene maprofesa anga anaba chombo ataloza mfuti. M’chiwonetsero chotsatira, tsitsi langa linametedwa ndipo ananditumiza ku malo ooneka ngati ndende yozunzirako anthu. Ndinayesetsa kuthawa. Zikuwoneka kuti "wopanga maloto" wanga adapita pamwamba poyesa kundipatsa uthenga womveka bwino. Kwa zaka 30 zapitazi, ine ndi mkazi wanga takhala kumudzi kwathu,” analemba motero Kevin Anderson.
Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti zochitika zonse m'maloto ndi hypertrophied m'chilengedwe.
Malinga ndi iye, palibe njira imodzi yolondola yomasulira maloto. Amapereka malangizo angapo omwe amamuthandiza pantchito yake ndi odwala:
1. Osayang'ana kutanthauzira kolondola kokha. Yesani kusewera ndi zosankha zingapo.
2. Lolani maloto anu akhale poyambira poyambira moyo wosangalatsa komanso watanthauzo. Ngakhale zomwe zikuchitika m'maloto zikuwoneka zomveka komanso zomveka, zingakutsogolereni ku malingaliro atsopano, nthawi zina opanga kwambiri.
3. Chitani maloto ngati nkhani zanzeru. Pankhaniyi, mutha kupeza zinthu zambiri zothandiza komanso zosangalatsa mwa iwo zomwe zimagwirizana mwachindunji ndi moyo wanu weniweni. Mwina amatigwirizanitsa ndi «wamkulu chikomokere» - kuti gawo la ife amene anapatsidwa nzeru kuposa chikumbumtima.
4. Unikani chinthu chodabwitsa chomwe mukuwona m'maloto. Anderson amakhulupirira kuti zachilendo kwambiri m'maloto, zimakhala zothandiza kwambiri. Muyenera kukumbukira kuti zochitika zonse m'maloto ndi hypertrophied. Ngati tilota kuti tikupha munthu, tiyenera kuganizira za mkwiyo umene timakhala nawo kwa munthuyo. Ngati, monga gawo la chiwembu, timagonana ndi munthu, ndiye kuti mwina timakhala ndi chikhumbo chofuna kuyandikira, osati mwakuthupi.
5. Palibe chifukwa chodalira zizindikiro zamaloto zapadziko lonse zomwe zimapezeka m'mabuku. Njira imeneyi, akulemba motero Anderson, ikutanthauza kuti ngati anthu awiri alota kamba, amatanthauza chinthu chimodzi kwa onse awiri. Koma bwanji ngati wina anali ndi kamba wokondedwa ali mwana amene anamwalira ndipo motero anam’dziŵitsa mwamsanga ku chenicheni cha imfa, ndipo winayo amayendetsa fakitale ya supu ya kamba? Kodi chizindikiro cha kamba chingatanthauze chimodzimodzi kwa aliyense?
Malingaliro okhudzana ndi munthu kapena chizindikiro cha maloto adzakuthandizani kudziwa momwe mungatanthauzire.
Poganizira za maloto otsatirawa, mungadzifunse kuti: “Kodi chizindikiro chimenechi n’choyenera kwambiri pa moyo wanga? N’chifukwa chiyani kwenikweni anaonekera m’maloto? Anderson amalimbikitsa kugwiritsa ntchito njira yolumikizirana yaulere yoganizira chilichonse chomwe chimabwera m'maganizo tikamaganizira za chizindikiro ichi. Izi zidzathandiza kumasula zomwe zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi moyo weniweni.
6. Ngati panali anthu ambiri m'malotowo, yesetsani kusanthula ngati kuti aliyense wa anthuwa ndi mbali ya umunthu wanu. Tingaganize kuti zonsezi sizinangochitika mwangozi. Mayanjano aulere adzakuthandizaninso kumvetsetsa zomwe aliyense wa anthu omwe akulota angawonetsere zenizeni.
7. Samalani maganizo anu m'maloto. Kodi mudadzuka ndikumverera kotani mutatha kudumpha - ndi mantha kapena ndikumasulidwa? Malingaliro okhudzana ndi munthu kapena chizindikiro cha maloto adzakuthandizani kudziwa momwe mungatanthauzire.
8. Yang'anani maloto anu ngati mukudutsa nthawi yovuta kapena yosinthika m'moyo wanu ndipo muyenera kupanga chisankho choyenera. Gwero lakunja kwa malingaliro athu oganiza bwino litha kukulozerani njira yoyenera kapena kukupatsani chidziwitso chofunikira.
9. Ngati mukuvutika kukumbukira maloto anu, sungani cholembera ndi cholembera pafupi ndi bedi lanu. Mukadzuka, lembani zonse zomwe mukukumbukira. Izi zithandizira kusamutsa malotowo kukumbukira kwanthawi yayitali ndikugwira nawo ntchito pambuyo pake.
“Sindidziŵa chimene loto lonena za manda ndi dzanja lodulidwa limatanthauza,” akuvomereza motero Kevin Anderson. “Koma mwina ena mwa malingalirowa adzakuthandizani kumvetsa tanthauzo lake. Mwina mukuzindikira kuti wina wofunikira, yemwe pa nthawi yoyenera "anakufikirani" akusiya moyo wanu. Koma iyi ndi imodzi mwazosankha zofotokozera loto lachilendoli. Sangalalani ndikusintha zotheka zosiyanasiyana. ”
Za wolemba: Kevin Anderson ndi psychotherapist komanso wophunzitsa moyo.