Zolakwika zabodza: ​​chifukwa chiyani ndizowopsa?

Malingaliro angasinthe miyoyo. Kukhulupirira zabwino kumathandiza kuyesetsa kuchita zambiri komanso osataya chiyembekezo. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti anthu amene ali ndi chiyembekezo amakhala ndi nkhawa zochepa tsiku lililonse ndipo savutika maganizo. Kuphatikiza apo, amamva bwino kuposa omwe amawona moyo mumitundu yakuda.

Koma kodi chiyembekezo ndicho chinsinsi cha moyo wachimwemwe ndi wopanda mavuto?

Ambiri amavomereza kuti zabwino ndi njira yothetsera vuto lililonse. Ngakhale odwala khansa amalangizidwa kuti ayang'ane dziko ndi chiyembekezo, akumati iyi ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri, ngati silofunika kwambiri pa chithandizo chamankhwala. Kwenikweni sichoncho. Kukhala ndi chiyembekezo sikutanthauza kuti tidzakhala mosangalala mpaka kalekale. Malingaliro abwino angakhudze thanzi, koma izi sizinthu zokhazo zofunika, ndipo kutha kuona zabwino mu chirichonse sikupulumutsidwa ku zochitika zosasangalatsa: zimangopangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kuzipeza.

Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani pamene positivity imasiya kugwira ntchito mwadzidzidzi ndipo timakumana ndi mavuto? Pamene ena amatilangiza kuyang'ana chirichonse mosavuta, koma zikuwoneka zosatheka?

Malangizowa amatipangitsa kudabwa chifukwa chake sitipambana: chifukwa chiyani sitingathe kuyang'ana dziko mosiyana, kuyamikira zomwe amatichitira, kumwetulira nthawi zambiri. Zikuwoneka kuti aliyense wozungulira amadziwa chinsinsi chomwe adayiwala kutipatulira, choncho palibe chomwe chimagwira ntchito. Timayamba kudzimva kukhala osungulumwa, osungulumwa, komanso osamvetsetsedwa, akulemba motero Whitney Goodman.

Kusasiya malo a malingaliro enieni kumbuyo kwa kawonedwe kabwino ka dziko, tikudzilowetsa tokha mumsampha. Ngati palibe mwayi wokhala ndi malingaliro, ndiye kuti palibe kukula kwaumwini, ndipo popanda izi, zabwino zilizonse ndikungonamizira.

Ngati tidzikana tokha komanso okondedwa athu ufulu wofotokoza zakukhosi kwathu, chiyembekezo chimakhala chakupha. Timati: "Tayang'anani kuchokera kumbali ina - zikhoza kukhala zoipitsitsa", kuyembekezera kuti interlocutor adzamva bwino kuchokera ku chithandizo choterocho. Tili ndi zolinga zabwino. Ndipo mwina chowonadi chingakhale choyipa kwambiri. Koma mawu oterowo amawononga malingaliro a munthu ndi kumulanda kuyenera kwa kutengeka maganizo.

Pali zabwino zambiri pamalingaliro abwino, koma nthawi zina ndi bwino kuyang'ana dziko lapansi kudzera mu magalasi amtundu wa rozi. Tikatero tidzatha kuona zabwino ndi zoipa zomwe zikuchitika, kutanthauza kuti tingathe kuthana ndi vutolo ndikukhalamo.

M’chitaganya cha munthu amene amamva zoipa, kaŵirikaŵiri zimakhala zovuta kwa ife. Ndizovuta kwambiri kusayesa kuchita chilichonse. Timaona kuti sitingathe kuchita chilichonse ndipo tikufuna kukonza zinthu. Kusathandiza uku kumatipangitsa kunena zoletsa zomwe zimakwiyitsa aliyense, mwachitsanzo:

• "Yang'anani kumbali ina";
• “Anthu akuipiraipira, ndipo inu mumadandaula”;
• "Kumwetulira, zonse zili bwino";
• "Ingoyang'anani dziko bwino kwambiri."

Zingawonekere kwa ife kuti mawu awa angathandize mwanjira ina, koma izi siziri choncho. Tikadakhala kuti tidakhala m'malo mwa olankhula nawo, ife enife tikadakwiya. Ndipo komabe timabwereza mawu awa mobwerezabwereza.

Ndizovuta kungoyang'ana momwe wokondedwa alili woyipa. Ndipo komabe, kungokhala pamenepo ndi chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachitire iye ndi inu nokha. Zindikirani kuti zomwe zikuchitikazi zingakhale zovuta. Mwinamwake pambuyo pake chidzakhala chokumana nacho chothandiza, koma tsopano chikupweteka.

Yesetsani kudzikana nokha ndi interlocutor ufulu maganizo oipa. Chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachitire wina ndikumvetsera ndi kusonyeza kumvetsetsa. Nawa mawu ena omwe angathandize:

• "Ndiuzeni momwe mukumvera tsopano";
• "Ndikumvetsa";
• "Ndiuzeni, ndikumvetserani mosamala";
• "Ndikuganiza momwe zimakhalira";
• “Ndikumva kuti izi ndizovuta kwambiri kwa inu”;
• "Ndikufuna kuthandiza";
• "Ndikukukhulupirirani".

Bwerezani mawu a mnzanuyo kuti musonyeze kuti mukumvetsera. Gwiritsani ntchito chilankhulo cha thupi kuti muwonetse chidwi: yang'anani mosamala kwa wolankhulayo, pitani kwa iye akamalankhula. Lankhulani mochepa ndi kumvetsera kwambiri.

Phunziro pazochitikazo likhoza kuphunziridwa pambuyo povomereza ndi kukumana ndi malingaliro. Pambuyo pake pamabwera nthawi yokhala ndi malingaliro abwino.

Kaŵirikaŵiri, awo amene amayang’ana dziko moyenerera angapeze tanthauzo ngakhale m’mikhalidwe yovuta ndi yosakondweretsa. Atha kuvomereza popanda kudziimba mlandu kapena kudziimba mlandu. Kusinthasintha maganizo ndi chizindikiro cha anthu oterowo.

Nthawi zambiri anthu opanda chiyembekezo amadziimba mlandu iwowo komanso okondedwa awo pakachitika zoipa. Iwo ndi otsutsa mwaukali, nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kwa iwo kuzindikira ngakhale zolinga zawo zomwe akwaniritsa. Koma onse opanda chiyembekezo komanso oyembekezera amafunikira nthawi kuti apirire zovuta ndi kupulumuka zomwe zikuchitika.

Yesani kukumbukira zotsatirazi:

• Palibe vuto ngati simungathe kudzikonda nthawi yomweyo.
• Ndi zachilendo ngati simutuluka kuti muyang'ane dziko moyenera.
• Ndi bwino kupeza nthawi yodzikhululukira komanso kuthana ndi vuto lopwetekedwa mtima.
• Ziri bwino ngati mukuona ngati sizikhala bwino tsopano.
• Si zachilendo ngati mukuganiza kuti zimene zikuchitikazo ndi zopanda chilungamo.
• Kudzikonda sikungochitika kamodzi kokha, kungatenge nthawi.
• Chifukwa chakuti mukuganiza kuti zonse nzoipa tsopano, sizikutanthauza kuti zidzakhala chonchi nthawi zonse.
• Zinthu zina zimangochitika. Palibe cholakwika ndi kukhala ndi malingaliro olakwika chifukwa cha izi. Simukuyenera kumamva bwino nthawi zonse.

Kuyang'ana dziko ndi chiyembekezo, ndithudi, n'kodabwitsa. Koma musadzitsekere nokha ndi okondedwa anu ufulu wokhumudwa. Zowona, osati poizoni, positivity ndi njira yothanirana ndi kuphunzira kuchokera ku zovuta, m'malo mozinyalanyaza ndikuchepetsa ululu womwe timakumana nawo muzovuta.

Za Mlembi: Whitney Goodman ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo, katswiri wamabanja ndi mabanja.