Kudzisamalira sizinthu zazing'ono zokondweretsa monga kupaka minofu ndi manicure. Nthaŵi zina zimakhala za kukhala panyumba pamene mukudwala, kukumbukira kuyeretsa, kuchita zinthu zofunika panthaŵi yake. Nthawi zina khalani pansi ndikumvetsera nokha. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Jamie Stacks amalankhula za chifukwa chake muyenera kuchita izi.
Ndimagwira ntchito ndi amayi omwe ali ndi vuto la nkhawa, amakhala ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse, amakhala paubwenzi wokhazikika, ndipo akumana ndi zoopsa. Tsiku lililonse ndimamva nkhani zisanu kapena khumi za akazi amene sadzisamalira okha, amaika ubwino wa ena patsogolo pa wawo, ndi kudziona kuti ndi osayenera ngakhale kudzisamalira kophweka.
Nthawi zambiri zimakhala chifukwa chakuti adaphunzitsidwa izi m'mbuyomu. Nthawi zambiri amapitiliza kudzipangira izi ndikumva mawu otero kuchokera kwa ena.
Ndikalankhula za kudzisamalira, ndikutanthauza zomwe ndizofunikira kuti munthu apulumuke: kugona, chakudya. N’zodabwitsa kuti akazi ndi amuna ambiri sagona mokwanira, sadya chakudya chokwanira, kapena sadya zakudya zosayenera, komabe amasamala za ena tsiku lonse. Nthawi zambiri amathera mu ofesi yanga akalephera kusamalira ena. Iwo ndi oipa, alibe mphamvu iliyonse.
Nthaŵi zina amayesabe kupitirizabe kukhala ndi moyo ndi kugwira ntchito ngati kuti palibe chimene chachitika, chifukwa cha zimenezi amayamba kuchita zolakwa zambiri zimene zingapeŵedwe mwa kudzipatsa chisamaliro chochepa.
N’chifukwa chiyani sitidzisamalira tokha? Nthawi zambiri izi zimachitika chifukwa chokhulupirira kuti tilibe ufulu wodzichitira tokha.
Chifukwa chiyani akazi amphamvu ndi anzeru sadzisamalira konse? Nthawi zambiri izi zimakhala chifukwa cha zikhulupiriro zawo zamkati ngati ali ndi ufulu wodzipangira okha.
“Uku ndi kudzikonda. Ndingakhale mayi woyipa. Ndikufuna zambiri kuposa banja langa. Palibe wina koma ine amene ndichapa zovala ndi kutsuka mbale. Ndilibe nthawi. Ndiyenera kuwasamalira. Ndili ndi ana anayi. Mayi anga akudwala.”
Kodi zikhulupiriro zamkati ndi zotani? Izi ndi zimene timaona kuti ndi zoona zokhazokha. Zimene tinaphunzitsidwa ndi makolo athu, amene anaphunzitsidwa ndi agogo athu, ndipo motero kwa mibadwo yambiri. Awa ndi mawu aukali a amayi omwe mudawamva muubwana (kapena mwina mumawamvabe). Zikhulupiriro zimenezi zimayamba kugwira ntchito tikazindikira kuti talakwitsa. Tikamva bwino, zimaonekera mwa kudziwononga tokha.
Ambiri amaoneka motere: “Sindili wabwino mokwanira. Sindiyenera… Ndine woluza moyipa. Sindidzakhala wabwino monga… Ndine wosayenera (wosayenera) kuonjezera.”
Pamene zikhulupiriro zamkati zimenezi zionekera mwa ife, kaŵirikaŵiri timaona kuti tiyenera kuchitira ena zambiri, kuwasamalira mokulirapo kapena bwinopo. Izi zimasunga mchitidwe woipa: timasamalira ena kwinaku tikunyalanyaza zosowa zathu. Bwanji ngati mutayesa zina?
Nanga bwanji ngati nthawi ina mudzamva mawu a m’kati mwa zikhulupiriro zoipa, osamvera? Zindikirani, vomerezani kukhalapo kwawo, ndipo tengani nthawi kuti mudziwe zomwe akufuna kapena zomwe akufuna.
Ngati chonchi:
"Hey, iwe, mawu amkati omwe amandilimbikitsa kuti ndine chitsiru (k). Ndikukumvani. N’chifukwa chiyani ukubwererabe? Chifukwa chiyani mumanditsatira nthawi zonse ndikakumana ndi vuto? Mukufuna chiyani?"
Ndiye mvetserani.
Kapena mofatsa:
“Ndikumva, mawu amene amandidzudzula nthawi zonse. Ukachita zimenezo, ndimamva…Kodi tingatani kuti tigwirizane?”
Mvetseraninso.
Lumikizanani ndi mwana wanu wamkati ndikumusamalira ngati ana anu enieni
Nthawi zambiri, zikhulupiriro zazikuluzikulu ndizomwe zidalephera kupeza zomwe zimafunikira. Mwaphunzira bwino kuyendetsa zokhumba zanu zomwe sizinakwaniritsidwe ndi zosowa zanu mkati mwakuti mwasiya kuyesa kuzikwaniritsa kapena kuzikwaniritsa. Ngakhale pamene palibe amene anakuvutitsani, simunamve kuitana kwawo.
Bwanji ngati muyang'ana kudzisamalira ngati nkhani ya kudzikonda? Nkhani yokhudzana ndi momwe mungalumikizire ndi mwana wanu wamkati ndikumusamalira ngati ana anu enieni. Kodi mumakakamiza ana anu kuti adumphe chakudya chamasana kuti azigwira ntchito zambiri zapakhomo kapena homuweki? Kukalipira ogwira nawo ntchito ngati ali kunyumba chifukwa cha chimfine? Ngati mlongo wanu atakuuzani kuti afunika kupuma kaye kuti asasamale mayi anu amene akudwala mwakayakaya, kodi mungamukalipira? Ayi.
Zolimbitsa thupi. Kwa masiku angapo, dzichitireni mmene mungachitire ndi mwana kapena mnzanu. Dzichitireni chifundo, mverani ndi kumva ndikudzisamalira nokha.