Psychology

Ntchito ya Psychotherapeutic nthawi zina imakhala kwa zaka zambiri, ndipo makasitomala samatha kumvetsetsa nthawi zonse: pali kupita patsogolo kulikonse? Kupatula apo, si masinthidwe onse omwe amawawona ngati kusintha kukhala kwabwino. Kodi kasitomala angamvetse bwanji kuti zonse zikuyenda momwe ziyenera kukhalira? Malingaliro a Gestalt Therapist Elena Pavlyuchenko.

"clear" chithandizo

Zikakhala kuti kasitomala abwera ndi pempho linalake, mwachitsanzo, kuthandiza kuthetsa kusamvana kapena kupanga chisankho choyenera - ndizosavuta kuwunika momwe ntchito ikuyendera. Mkangano umathetsedwa, kusankha kumapangidwa, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti ntchitoyo yathetsedwa. Izi ndizochitika.

Mkazi amabwera kwa ine yemwe ali ndi vuto ndi mwamuna wake: sangagwirizane pa chilichonse, amakangana. Amadandaula kuti chikondi, zikuwoneka, chapita, ndipo mwina ndi nthawi yoti asudzulane. Koma amafunabe kuyesetsa kukonza ubalewo. Pamisonkhano yoyamba, timaphunzira momwe amachitira zinthu. Amagwira ntchito molimbika, ndipo nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi anzake. Iye amatopa, kuyesera kumukokera kwinakwake, iye amakana, ponena za kutopa. Amakhumudwa, amadzinenera, amakwiya poyankha ndipo safunanso kucheza naye.

Gulu loyipa, lodziwika, ndikuganiza, ndi ambiri. Ndipo kotero timathetsa mkangano pambuyo pokangana naye, kuyesa kusintha zomwe anachita, khalidwe, kupeza njira ina, nthawi zina kupita kwa mwamuna wake, kumuthokoza chifukwa cha chinachake, kukambirana naye chinachake ... masitepe opita ku . Pang'ono ndi pang'ono, maubwenzi amayamba kukhala okondana komanso osagwirizana. Ngakhale kuti sikungatheke kusintha, amadzisiya yekha ndikuphunzira kuyendetsa bwino, koma apo ayi, amaona kuti pempho lake likukhutitsidwa ndi makumi asanu ndi limodzi ndipo amamaliza chithandizo.

Pamene sizikumveka…

Ndi nkhani yosiyana kotheratu ngati kasitomala abwera ndi mavuto akuya, pamene chinachake chiyenera kusinthidwa kwambiri mwa iye mwini. Sikophweka kudziwa momwe ntchitoyi ikuyendera pano. Chifukwa chake, ndikofunikira kuti kasitomala adziwe magawo akulu a ntchito yazama psychotherapeutic.

Kawirikawiri misonkhano yoyamba ya 10-15 imawoneka yothandiza kwambiri. Kuyambira kuzindikira mmene vuto limene limam’lepheretsa kukhala ndi moyo limakonzedwera, kaŵirikaŵiri munthu amakhala womasuka ndi wachangu.

Tiyerekeze kuti mwamuna amandipeza akudandaula chifukwa cha kutopa kuntchito, kutopa komanso kusafuna kukhala ndi moyo. Pamisonkhano yochepa yoyambirira, zimakhala kuti sangathe kuteteza ndi kulimbikitsa zosowa zake, kuti amakhala ndi kutumikira ena - kuntchito komanso pamoyo wake. Ndipo makamaka - amapita kukakumana ndi aliyense, amavomereza zonse, sadziwa kunena "ayi" ndikuumirira yekha. Mwachionekere, ngati simudzisamalira konse, kutopa kumayamba.

Ndipo kotero, pamene kasitomala amvetsetsa zifukwa zomwe zikumuchitikira, akuwona chithunzi chonse cha zochita zake ndi zotsatira zake, amakumana ndi chidziwitso - choncho apa! Kungotsala pang'ono kuchitapo kanthu, ndipo vutoli lidzathetsedwa. Tsoka ilo, ichi ndi chinyengo.

Chinyengo chachikulu

Kumvetsetsa sikufanana ndi chisankho. Chifukwa pamafunika nthawi ndi khama kuti munthu adziwe luso lililonse latsopano. Zikuwoneka kwa kasitomala kuti akhoza kunena mosavuta "Ayi, pepani, sindingathe / Koma ndikufuna chonchi!", Chifukwa amamvetsa chifukwa chake ndi momwe anganenere! A akuti, mwachizolowezi: "Inde, wokondedwa / Inde, ndichita zonse!" - ndipo amadzikwiyira mwamisala chifukwa cha izi, ndiyeno, mwachitsanzo, mwadzidzidzi amaphwanya mnzake ... Koma palibe chomwe mungakwiyire nacho!

Nthawi zambiri anthu samazindikira kuti kuphunzira njira zatsopano zamakhalidwe ndikosavuta monga kuphunzira kuyendetsa galimoto, mwachitsanzo. Mwachidziwitso, mutha kudziwa chilichonse, koma yendani kumbuyo kwa gudumu ndikukokera chowongolera kunjira yolakwika, ndiye kuti simukukwanira pamalo oimikapo magalimoto! Zimatengera nthawi yayitali kuti muphunzire kugwirizanitsa zochita zanu m'njira yatsopano ndikuzibweretsa kuzinthu zodziwikiratu pamene kuyendetsa galimoto kumasiya kukhala opsinjika maganizo ndikusintha kukhala zosangalatsa, ndipo nthawi yomweyo ndizotetezeka mokwanira kwa inu ndi omwe akuzungulirani. Ndi chimodzimodzi ndi luso lamatsenga!

Zovuta kwambiri

Chifukwa chake, pamankhwala, pamabwera gawo lomwe timatcha "plateau". Zili ngati chipululu chimene muyenera kuyenda kwa zaka makumi anayi, mozungulira mozungulira ndipo nthawi zina kutaya chikhulupiriro kukwaniritsa cholinga choyambirira. Ndipo nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta kwambiri. Chifukwa munthu amawona kale zonse, amamvetsetsa "monga momwe ziyenera kukhalira", koma zomwe amayesa kuchita zimabweretsa chinthu chaching'ono kwambiri, kapena kuchitapo kanthu mwamphamvu kwambiri (ndicho chosagwira ntchito), kapena chinthu chomwe chimatsutsana ndi zomwe akufuna. kunja - ndipo kuchokera apa kasitomala amaipiraipira.

Iye sakufunanso ndipo sangakhale m’njira yakale, komabe sadziwa mmene angakhalire m’njira yatsopano. Ndipo anthu oyandikana nawo amakhudzidwa ndi kusintha osati nthawi zonse m'njira yosangalatsa. Apa panali munthu wothandiza, nthawi zonse ankathandiza aliyense, anamupulumutsa, ankakondedwa. Koma atangoyamba kuteteza zosowa ndi malire ake, izi zimayambitsa kusakhutira: "Inu mwasokonekera," "Sizingatheke kulankhulana nanu", "Psychology sichidzabweretsa ubwino."

Iyi ndi nthawi yovuta kwambiri: chisangalalo chadutsa, zovutazo zikuwonekera, "mikwingwirima" yawo ikuwonekera pang'onopang'ono, ndipo zotsatira zabwino zimakhalabe zosaoneka kapena zosakhazikika. Pali zokayikitsa zambiri: ndingasinthe? Mwinadi tikuchita zopanda pake? Nthawi zina mumafuna kusiya chilichonse ndikusiya chithandizo.

Chimathandizira chiyani?

Kudutsa m'derali ndikosavuta kwa iwo omwe ali ndi ubale wodalirika. Munthu wotero amadziwa kudalira munthu wina. Ndipo mu chithandizo, amakhulupirira kwambiri katswiriyo, amadalira chithandizo chake, amakambirana momasuka zokayika zake ndi mantha ake. Koma kwa munthu amene sakhulupirira anthu ndi iye mwini, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri. Ndiye nthawi yowonjezereka ndi kuyesetsa kumafunikanso kuti mupange mgwirizano wothandizirana ndi kasitomala.

Ndikofunikiranso kwambiri kuti osati kasitomala yekhayo akhazikitsidwe kuti azigwira ntchito molimbika, komanso achibale ake amvetsetse: zidzakhala zovuta kwa iye kwakanthawi, muyenera kukhala oleza mtima ndikuthandizira. Chifukwa chake, timakambirana za momwe ndi zomwe tingawadziwitse, ndi chithandizo chotani chomwe angapemphe. Kusakhutira kochepa ndi chithandizo chochuluka chomwe chilipo m'chilengedwe, zimakhala zosavuta kuti kasitomala apulumuke siteji iyi.

sunthani pang'onopang'ono

Wofuna chithandizo nthawi zambiri amafuna kupeza zotsatira zabwino nthawi yomweyo komanso kwamuyaya. Kupita patsogolo pang'onopang'ono mwina sangazindikire. Izi makamaka ndi chithandizo cha katswiri wa zamaganizo - kusonyeza kuti pali mphamvu yabwino, ndipo lero munthu amatha kuchita zomwe sakanatha dzulo.

Kupita patsogolo kungakhale pang'onopang'ono - sitepe yakutsogolo, kubwerera m'mbuyo, sitepe yam'mbali, koma timakondwerera ndikuyesera kuyamikira. Ndikofunika kuti wofuna chithandizo aphunzire kudzikhululukira yekha chifukwa cha zolephera, kuyang'ana chithandizo mwa iyemwini, kukhazikitsa zolinga zomwe zingatheke, kuchepetsa chiwerengero chachikulu cha ziyembekezo.

Kodi nthawi imeneyi imatenga nthawi yayitali bwanji? Ndamvapo maganizo akuti chithandizo chakuya chimafuna pafupifupi chaka chimodzi kwa zaka 10 zilizonse za moyo wa kasitomala. Ndiye kuti, munthu wazaka 30 amafunikira chithandizo chazaka zitatu, wazaka 50 - pafupifupi zaka zisanu. Zachidziwikire, zonsezi ndizongoyerekeza. Chifukwa chake, phiri la zaka zitatu zokhazikika izi zitha kukhala zaka ziwiri kapena ziwiri ndi theka.

Chifukwa chake, pamisonkhano yoyamba ya 10-15 pali kupita patsogolo kolimba, ndiye kuti chithandizo chambiri chimachitika m'malo otsetsereka ndikuwuka momasuka. Ndipo pokhapo pamene luso lonse lofunikira likugwiritsidwa ntchito pang'onopang'ono, kuphatikizidwa ndikusonkhanitsidwa kukhala njira yatsopano yamoyo, kudumpha kwabwino kumachitika.

Kodi kumaliza kumawoneka bwanji?

Wofuna chithandizo akuchulukirachulukira osati za mavuto, koma za kupambana kwake ndi zomwe wapindula. Iye mwini amawona mfundo zovuta ndipo amapeza njira zowagonjetsa, amamvetsa momwe angadzitetezere, amadziwa kudzisamalira, osaiwala za ena. Ndiko kuti, akuyamba kuthana ndi moyo wake watsiku ndi tsiku komanso zovuta pamlingo watsopano. Iye amaona mowonjezereka kuti akukhutira ndi mmene moyo wake wakonzedwera.

Timayamba kukumana pafupipafupi, m'malo mwachitetezo. Ndiyeno, panthawi ina, timakhala ndi msonkhano womaliza, kukumbukira mwachikondi ndi chisangalalo njira yomwe tayendera limodzi ndikuzindikira zitsogozo zazikulu za ntchito yodziimira ya kasitomala m'tsogolomu. Pafupifupi iyi ndi njira yachilengedwe ya chithandizo chanthawi yayitali.

Siyani Mumakonda