Kodi mungagonjetse bwanji mantha a maubwenzi atsopano?

Yesetsani kukhala omasuka

Nkhawa ndi kuyandikana zimatilepheretsa kugawana zomwe takumana nazo. Mabuku a uphungu angapereke njira za momwe mungayambitsire zokambirana, kukopa wokambirana naye ndikudzutsa chidwi chake. Koma maubwenzi enieni nthawi zonse amamangidwa pa kumasuka. Kumasulidwa ndi njira yolunjika yopita ku chiyanjano. Komabe, chinthu chomalizira chimene munthu wodera nkhaŵa amasankha kuchita ndicho kufooketsa chitetezo. Kutsegula kumatanthauza kuthetsa mantha a mlendo, kumudziwitsa maganizo anu ndi zochitika zanu. N’zosavuta kuuza anthu zimene mukuganiza ndi mmene mukumvera ndi kuwalola kuona zimene zili zofunika kwa inu.

Limbanani ndi mantha achiweruzo

Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe timazengereza kugawana ndi ena ndicho kuopa chiweruzo. Kuchulukitsitsa kwa nkhawa kumapangitsa kuti tizingotengera anzathu osankhidwa. Ngati chinachake chalakwika, timangodziimba mlandu. Timaganiza kuti mnzanuyo amangoona zolakwa zathu ndi zolakwa zathu. Zili choncho chifukwa anthu amene ali ndi nkhawa amadziona kuti ndi osafunika komanso amadziimba mlandu.. Chifukwa chakuti amadziweruza mwankhanza kwambiri, amaona kuti anthu enanso amamva chimodzimodzi. Izi zimawapangitsa kusafuna kugawana nawo, kuwonetsa kuwona mtima komanso kusatetezeka.

Pezani mtengo weniweni

Zikuoneka kuti tikakhala tcheru, timachita chidwi ndi zizindikiro za khalidwe la anthu ena. Izi sizowona kwathunthu. Nkhawa zimatipangitsa kuzindikira zizindikiro zoipa, ndipo nthawi zambiri timazilingalira kuyambira pachiyambi. Motero, timakhala pachiopsezo cha kutaya ulamuliro pa moyo wathu ndi kukhala akapolo a mantha athu ndi tsankho.

Kodi mungachoke bwanji mu gulu loipali? Limbitsani kudzidalira. Ngati takhutitsidwa ndi ife eni, tikudziŵa kufunika kwathu, ndi kupeputsa zokumana nazo za moyo wathu, sitili okhoterera ku kudzidzudzula tokha. Mwa kukhazika mtima pansi wotsutsa wamkati, timasiya kuganizira zomwe takumana nazo ndipo timapeza mwayi wochita zinthu mopanda malire.

Pewani maganizo oipa

Nkhawa zingayambitse kuganiza koopsa. Kusiyanitsa kwake: chizoloŵezi chokweza chitukuko chilichonse choipa cha zochitikazo kuti zikhale zoopsa. Ngati mukuwopa ngati moto womwe nthawi yosayenerera chidendene chanu chidzathyoka kapena zolimba zanu zidzang'ambika, mukumvetsa zomwe tikukamba. Chitsanzo chowoneka bwino ndi "man in a case" ya Chekhov. Amafa ndi manyazi komanso manyazi akatsika masitepe kutsogolo kwa mtsikana yemwe akuwonetsa chidwi naye. Kwa dziko lake, ili ndi tsoka - ngakhale kuti sanakanidwe kapena kutsutsidwa.

Yesetsani kufotokoza zomwe zikuchitika m'mutu mwanu, zomwe liwu lanu lamkati (kapena mawu) likunena. Kumbukirani kuti kupsinjika, monga mantha, kuli ndi maso akulu: kumasokoneza ziwopsezo ndikungowonetsa zoyipa zokha. Lembani maganizo amene chiyembekezo cha deti kumabweretsa ndi kupenda iwo. Kodi ndi zoona bwanji? Ganizirani kuti mnzanuyo nayenso ali ndi nkhawa. Tangolingalirani momwe amadzipenda pagalasi ndikuyembekeza mwachinsinsi kuti muzimukonda.

Kukulitsa kuzindikira kwamalingaliro

Nkhawa imayamba chifukwa choganizira zam'mbuyo ndi zam'tsogolo. Mwina timaganizira zomwe zingachitike, kapena timatafuna zochitika zakale mobwerezabwereza: momwe timachitira, zomwe tidapanga. Zonsezi zimachotsa mphamvu ndikusokoneza zochita. Njira ina ya kuyendayenda m'malingaliro uku ndi kulingalira. Muziganizira kwambiri zimene zikuchitika pano ndi panopa. Landirani malingaliro osayesa kuwapenda.

Chidziwitso chamaganizo ndicho chigawo chachikulu cha nzeru zamaganizo. Ngati abwenzi akudziwa bwino momwe amamvera komanso momwe anthu amamvera, amatha kusonyeza kusinthasintha ndi kumvetsetsa muzochitika zosiyanasiyana, amatha kukhala okhutira ndi moyo wawo pamodzi.¹.

Kuti mutengere mwayi pakukula kwanzeru zamaganizidwe, tsatirani mfundo izi:

1. Tsatani ndikutchula zakukhosi kwanu m'malo mozinyalanyaza kapena kuzipondereza.
2. Musalole kutengeka maganizo. Dziphunzitseni kuti muziwasanthula momwe mungathere komanso kuti musabwererenso m'malingaliro anu.
3. Yesetsani kutengeka mtima ngati mphamvu yochitirapo kanthu.
4. Yang'anani ku malingaliro a munthu winayo, zindikirani, chitani.
5. Sonyezani kuti mumamvetsetsa ndi kugawana malingaliro a winayo. Gwiritsani ntchito kulumikizana kwamalingaliro uku kuti mupange mgwirizano wamphamvu.

¹ The American Journal of Family Therapy, 2014, vol. 42, №1.