Momwe mungatalikitsire chikondi: njira yasayansi

Momwe mungakulitsire ndi kulimbikitsa chikondi, momwe mungapangire maubwenzi kukhala olimba komanso omasuka? Iwo likukhalira kuti lero pali ndithu mayankho a mafunso amenewa. Kafukufuku wina akuwonetsa ntchito ya "attachment hormone" oxytocin. Ena amazindikira kuti palibe chatsopano mu psychology ya banjali. Komabe, zomwe kale zinkatengedwa mopepuka zimatsimikiziridwa ndi ochita kafukufuku, ndipo zomwe apeza mu njira ya uphungu ndizothandiza kwambiri kusunga maubwenzi a nthawi yaitali.

1. Muzisonyezana chikondi pafupipafupi

Kupsompsona, kukumbatirana, kusisita, kusisita modzutsa chilakolako cha kugonana… Nthawi zambiri mukamakhudzana ndi mnzako, m'pamenenso ubongo umatulutsa oxytocin. Mu English, izo motsindika amatchedwa «chinthu cha chikondi» —» chikondi mankhwala». Iwo apanga mu lalikulu zedi mu thupi la mayi pobereka ndi wotsatira kuyamwitsa.

Oxytocin imagwira ntchito yofunika kwambiri pakupanga ndi kulimbikitsa maubwenzi, banja ndi chikondi, ngakhalenso ubwenzi, ndipo izi zimatsimikiziridwa ndi maphunziro ambiri.

Tip: musayembekezere kugunda kwa mtima. Lamulo lakuti "chilakolako chimabwera ndi kudya" likugwiritsidwa ntchito pano: nthawi zambiri timamenya wokondedwa, kumukumbatira ndi kumukhudza, timafuna kupitiriza kuyanjana kosangalatsa kumeneku.

2. Lankhulani mwaulemu

Kusankha mawu, kamvekedwe ka mawu - chilichonse chimakhala chofunikira tikamalankhula za chikondi chathu. Tikamalemekeza kwambiri maganizo a munthu wina ndiponso mfundo zake, timalankhula mwaubwenzi ndiponso mofatsa, m’pamenenso amaona kuti anthu ambiri amamumvetsa ndiponso amamuyamikira. Pamene sitiwona winayo ngati mdani ndi wopikisana naye kapena bwana ndi mbuye, zimakhala zosavuta kulimbitsa maubwenzi apamtima, ndipo zimakhala zosavuta kuti tigwirizane. Ndipo kukangana kumachitika kawirikawiri.

Tip: pepesani nthawi iliyonse mukapatuka pa lamuloli, ndipo musadere nkhawa momwe kamvekedwe kanu ndi mawu anu amakhudzira ena.

3. Onetsani kuyamikira pafupipafupi

Kuyamikira ndiko maziko a maubwenzi achikondi, malinga ndi ofufuza a University of California omwe anayesa mabanja 77. Apanso, oxytocin ikukhudzidwa: mlingo wake umakwera kwambiri mwa okondedwa onse pambuyo pa mawu othokoza, omwe amakhudza awiriwo mu bwalo labwino. Zoonadi, woyamikiridwayo amatumiza uthenga wabwino kwa wina. Zotsatira zake, onse amafuna kuchita ndikudziwonetsera okha "zabwino".

Tip: musasokoneze ubwenzi ndi kudziwana: choyamba ndi chopindulitsa, ndipo chachiwiri chikhoza kukhumudwitsa. Kuyamikira, kuyamikira, kutsimikiziridwa kwa mtengo - izi zonse zikhalepo nthawi zonse muubwenzi. Kuyesera kuchita ngati mwangokumana kumene kwa masiku angapo kungakhale njira yothandiza kuti ubalewo ukhale wolimba.

4. Khalanibe ndi malingaliro abwino

Tikamasunga maganizo amenewa kwa mnzathu amene analipo kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzicho, tikamakhulupirira kwambiri makhalidwe amene tinamupatsa, m’pamenenso “chinyengo chachikondi” chimasungidwa bwino ndipo ubwenziwo umakhala wautali. Tonse timakonda kugwirizana ndi malingaliro a munthu wina pa ife, ndipo ambiri amakonda maubwenzi omwe amatisangalatsa mwamwano.

M’malo moyerekezera wokwatirana naye ndi ena amene amamukomera mtima kapena kuweruza modzudzula mwamphamvu, okwatirana amphamvu amapitirizabe kuona ndi kutsindika choyamba zimene zimawasangalatsa wina ndi mnzake.

Tip: mukangodzudzula, pezani zabwino mwa mnzanuyo ndipo muuzeni za izo. Mwanjira iyi simudzalola mtunda wamalingaliro pakati panu kuwuka.

5. Lembani ndi kulembanso nkhani yanu

Titha kunena nkhani yathu yachikondi osati ngati nthano ya fairies, koma ngati nthano ya mfiti. Mwachitsanzo, ngati tikufuna kudzudzula mnzathu, kupsa mtima, kapena kuseketsa omvera. Koma kusankha kwa mtundu wotere sikumakhala ndi zotsatirapo: kafukufuku wambiri amasonyeza kuti nkhani zoipa zimakhudza nkhani ya chikondi, yomwe nthawi zambiri imakhala yoipa.

Koma kumbali ina, ngakhale nkhani yathu ikanakhala yokwera ndi yotsika, tikamasankha nkhani yabwino ponena za izo, kupitiriza kumawonekera pacholemba chomwecho, ndipo chifukwa chake, zenizeni zimagwirizana ndi zopeka. Kodi Shakespeare sananene kuti tinapangidwa ndi nsalu yofanana ndi maloto athu? Choncho ndi bwino kuti tisamakonde maloto oipa.

Tip: khalani ndi nthawi yolemba mndandanda wa ubwino wonse wokhala pamodzi ndi mnzanu, ndipo maso anu adzakhala okoma mtima. Umu ndi momwe timachitira kuganiza zamatsenga ndikusankha zabwino kwa banja lathu.

6. Sankhani chikhululukiro

Pankhani ya kuperekedwa kapena kuperekedwa, aliyense amasankha yekha kuchoka kapena kukhala. Koma ngati tili pa chisankho chachiŵiri, ndi bwino kuchita chilichonse chimene tingathe kuti tikhululukire ndi mtima wonse, kudzipatsa nthawi yokwanira. Pamene chigamulo chapangidwa ndi ndondomeko ya «chimbudzi» yatha, m'pofunika kupewa chitonzo ndi zoneneza mnzake.

Ichi ndi chikhalidwe chofunikira kwambiri kuti ubalewu ukhale mwayi uliwonse kuti upitirire mumkhalidwe waubwenzi. Tisaiwale kuti kukhululuka sikutanthauza kupeza mphamvu pa mnzanu kapena kumusokoneza, pogwiritsa ntchito kuyenera kwake, koma kupanga chisankho choyenera kutembenuza tsambalo.

Tip: phunzirani kukhululukira mnzanu zolakwa zazing’ono m’moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, m’malo mosunga chakukhosi ndi kuchita mwaukali.