Pali nthawi pa moyo wa aliyense pamene mukufuna kusintha chinachake. Wina amasankha zatsopano, ndipo wina amasiya zonse momwe zilili. Koma nthawi zina zosintha sizimatifunsa ndikulowa m'njira yanthawi zonse, ndikuwononga chilichonse chomwe chili m'njira yake. Kodi ndizotheka kuwaweta, kuwatembenuza kuchoka ku zowononga kupita kukupanga?
Nthawi zambiri timang'ambika ndi malingaliro osiyana - chikhumbo cha kusintha komanso nthawi yomweyo mantha awo, chifukwa sichidziwika chomwe chidzachitike. Wina sangasankhe pa chilichonse: "Sindimakonda ntchitoyi, koma ndikuwopa kupita ina, chifukwa ...". Koma nthawi zina zosintha zimasankhidwa kwa ife, zimaphulika m'moyo popanda kufunsa. Momwe mungasinthire ndikugwiritsa ntchito mwayi ngakhale mutakhala kuti mulibe vuto?
Pakati pa chizolowezi ndi zochitika
Wolemba wa kusanthula kwa transaction, Eric Berne, adanena kuti anthu amayendetsedwa ndi izi kapena zosowa, zomwe adazitcha "njala". Anasankha mitundu itatu ikuluikulu ya izo (malinga ngati zofunikira zimakhutitsidwa - chitetezo, chakudya ndi zakumwa, kugona): njala yolimbikitsa, kuzindikira ndi kupanga. Ndipo ndi kuphatikiza kwa zosowa izi kapena kusalinganizika komwe kumatipangitsa kuti tisinthe.
Claude Steiner, wotsatira Bern, m’bukhu lake anafotokoza zimene amati sitiroko ndi njira yofunika kwambiri yokhutiritsa njala ya zinthu zosonkhezera, popanda zimene moyo wa munthu aliyense, wamng’ono kapena wamkulu, sungatheke.
Mwana amafunika kukwapulidwa m'lingaliro lenileni - kukhudza, kupsompsona, kumwetulira kwa amayi, kukumbatira. Popanda iwo, malinga ndi maphunziro ambiri, ana amatsalira mu chitukuko. Pamene tikukula, timapitirizabe kukhutiritsa njala yathu yolimbikitsa, koma tsopano timasintha kapena kuwonjezera sitiroko ndi zikwapu.
Ndicho chifukwa chake "zokonda" m'malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, kuyamikira kwa anzanu ndi alendo, mawu olimbikitsa a okondedwa ndi ofunika kwambiri kwa ife. Tikufuna kumva kuchokera kwa wina: "Ndikukuwonani." Ngakhale dzina lathu litanenedwa m'kampani kapena m'mikhalidwe yatsopano, tidzakhutiritsa pang'ono njala yathu yofuna kutchuka.
Pamene palibe ndondomeko, palibe mndandanda wa zochita, timataya mayendedwe athu. Tikufuna kuneneratu, tikufuna kudziwa zomwe zidzachitike kwa ife
Kodi mwawona kuti obwera kumene kumakampani amachitapo kanthu mwanjira iliyonse, kuyesa kutchera khutu kwa aliyense, ndipo akufulumira kutumikira? Tagwira ntchito mu timu kwa zaka zambiri, talandira kale gawo lathu la "zokonda", sitiyenera kutsimikizira kufunikira kwathu, ndipo kwa oyamba kumene iyi ndi ntchito yofunika kwambiri.
Koma nthawi zina kusowa kwa zolimbikitsa zatsopano zomwe zimatipangitsa kusaka zachilendo. Njala yosonkhezera imatilepheretsa kuchita chizoloŵezi chokhalitsa ndi kudzipatula. Chizoloŵezi cha ntchito, magwiridwe antchito odziwika bwino pakukuta mano, zokonda zomwezo tsiku lina kutembenuka kuchoka kumalo otonthoza kupita kumalo osasangalatsa odzazidwa ndi kunyong'onyeka.
Kuti tipeze mpweya wabwino, ndife okonzeka kuchita zoopsa. Ndikofunikira kuti timve kuti tili ndi moyo, ndikumira m'chizoloŵezi, timataya kumverera uku. Apa ndi pamene chikhumbo cha kusintha chimachokera!
Koma ngakhale titakonzeka kuyamba kusintha miyoyo yathu, njala yachitatu imayika mawu m'magudumu athu - njala yokonzekera. Nthawi zambiri sitidziwa chochita ndi nthawi yathu yaulere. Pamene palibe ndondomeko, palibe mndandanda wa zochita, timataya mayendedwe athu. Tikufuna kulosera, tikufuna kudziwa zomwe zikutiyembekezera mtsogolo.
Konzani tsogolo lanu
Kuti tsogolo lisatichititse mantha, kuti tiyang’ane m’tsogolo ndi kupita patsogolo, tiyenera kuchitapo kanthu.
Gawo 1. Khazikitsani cholinga choyenera. Kodi tikuyembekezera chiyani pakusintha? Khalani ndi cholinga. Ngati ndi yapadziko lonse lapansi komanso yayikulu, igawanitseni kukhala zolinga ndi zolinga zapakatikati. Zosintha - zonse zomwe zakonzedwa komanso zosayembekezereka - zimatha, tikufuna kubwereranso ku bata, kufika pamlingo watsopano - zachuma kapena zauzimu, tikufuna kupeza phindu ndi mabonasi. Ndi iko komwe, sikuli pachabe kunena kuti zonse nzabwino.
Gawo 2. Yamikani ndikusiya zakale. Zosintha zikatikhudza, timayamba kukambirana ndi ife tokha, ndikufufuza zakale. “Ndikadachita mosiyana”, “Eh, ndikadabwerera tsopano, bwenzi…”, “Ndipo ndikadapanda kupanga chisankhochi?”, “Bwanji sindinamumvere iye kapena iye nthawiyo?” , “N’chifukwa chiyani munagula tikiti kapena tikiti imeneyo?
Ambiri amaima pachiyambi penipeni, kufunafuna olakwa mosalekeza ndi kupeza njira zothetsera m’mbuyomo. Koma moyo si masewera apakompyuta, sitingabwerere kumlingo wakale ndikudutsanso. Koma tikhoza kuvomereza zimene zinachitikazo n’kuganizira mmene tingachitire panopa. Tingapindule mwa ife tokha.
Ndipo zakale ziyenera kuyamikiridwa ndikutsanzikana nazo. Nthawi zina mawonekedwe amathandizira. Bwerani ndi zanu ndikumasula ndi chiyamiko.
Khwerero 3. Yang'anani cholinga chokonda chilengedwe, Kodi zimasemphana ndi mfundo zanu? Tiyerekeze kuti cholinga chanu ndikutenga udindo wapamwamba, koma nthawi yomweyo bwenzi lanu lidzachotsedwa. Iwo akukuuzani kuti: “Tidzamuchotsa ntchito, kaya akhale ndani.” Ngati iyi ndi bizinesi yanu ndipo palibe munthu, ndiye kuti cholinga chake ndichochezeka kwa inu. Ngati simungathe kutenga malo a bwenzi, chandamalecho ndi poizoni kwa inu.
Kapena mwaganiza zoyambitsa pulojekiti ndi chiwongola dzanja cha ma ruble 1 miliyoni pamwezi m'miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, koma china chake chimakuuzani kuti cholinga chake ndi chosatheka. Koma mukuzifunadi. Pozindikira kuti cholinga chake sichingakwaniritsidwe, mudzakankhira m'mbuyo kukhazikitsidwa kwa polojekiti mwanjira iliyonse. Ndiye, mwina mumangofunika kusuntha masiku omalizira kapena kuchepetsa kukula kwa zomwe mukufuna poyamba?
Kukambirana moona mtima ndi inu nokha nthawi zina kumachita zodabwitsa. Dzifunseni nokha chimene mukufuna kwenikweni
Ndikoopsa kwambiri kusoka ziwiri kapena zingapo pa chandamale chimodzi nthawi imodzi. Ndipo zolinga izi zimatsutsana ndikukokera mbali zosiyanasiyana, monga swan, khansa ndi pike. Mwachitsanzo, mayi wina ananena kuti: “Ndidzabereka mwana kaye, kenako n’kuyambitsa chionetsero changa.”
Mwinamwake iye anali asanakonzekere kukhala ndi pakati ndipo penapake mkati mwake anamvetsa kuti anali wokonzeka kwambiri kwa chionetserocho. Koma abwenzi ake onse anayamba mabanja, ndipo amayi anga, ayi, ayi, inde, adzanena kuti ndi nthawi yopatsa zidzukulu zake. Chotsatira chake sichinakwaniritsidwe cholinga chimodzi kapena china.
Kukambirana moona mtima ndi inu nokha nthawi zina kumachita zodabwitsa. Dzifunseni zomwe mukufuna kwenikweni. Ndipo musapangitse zolinga zanu kukhala zodalirana.
Gawo 4. Zindikirani ndikugwiritsa ntchito mwayi watsopano. Ngati cholinga chasankhidwa bwino, ndiye kuti mwadzidzidzi, zochitika zofunika, zofunikira, anthu ofunikira omwe angakutsogolereni kumoyo wanu adzayamba kuonekera. Palibe zachinsinsi. Mumangoyamba kuganizira zomwe zili zofunika kwa inu. Ndipo mudzayamba "kutulutsa" kuchokera pagulu lazinthu zomwe zikugwirizana ndi inu.
Koma sikokwanira kuwona mwayi - muyenera kuzindikira. Ndipo mwayi wanu ukadutsa pafupi ndi inu, musaphonye.
Gawo 5 Sonkhanitsani zambiri. Kusintha kumawopseza osadziwika. Ndipo njira yabwino yothetsera mantha ndiyo kuthetsa kusaphunzira. Timachita izi mwa akulu, popanda magalasi amtundu wa duwa. Ngakhale, ndithudi, nthawi zina ine ndikufunadi kukhala Assol, amene Gray, amene mwangozi anasambira m'sitimayo, adzachita zonse.
Kuti mudziwe zambiri? Kuchokera poyera komanso makamaka odalirika magwero. Komanso, pezani omwe adadutsa njira yofananira. Kodi mwatsala pang'ono kupeza ntchito yatsopano? Lankhulani ndi amene anachitapo kale. Ndi bwino kufunsa anthu angapo, ndiye kuti chithunzicho chidzakhala chochuluka kwambiri. Kotero, chidziwitsocho chimasonkhanitsidwa, cholinga chakhazikitsidwa. Yakwana nthawi yoti mupange dongosolo.
Khwerero 6. Lembani ndondomeko ndikuwunika zothandizira. Ngati mukufuna zochepa zodabwitsa momwe mungathere panjira, pangani ndondomeko yoyenera. Ndipo pa chinthu chilichonse - ndondomeko yanzeru.
Munayenera kusamukira ku mzinda wina. Ndikufuna nyumba, ntchito, sukulu ndi kindergarten ya ana. Khazikitsani masiku omalizira ndi zofunika kwambiri - zomwe zingadikire ndi zomwe zili zachangu. Ndi zinthu ziti zomwe zimafunika kuti zitheke? Ndani angathandize? Muyenera kukambirana ndi sukulu nokha, koma anzanu kapena achibale adzakuthandizani kupeza sukulu yoyenera m'dera loyenera. Ndipo kotero pazochitika zonse.
Tsatirani dongosolo zivute zitani. Mayesero ndi aakulu kuchulukitsira izo ndi mfundo. Inu, monga palibe wina aliyense, mukudziwa nokha - kuthamanga kwanu, zofooka zanu, zofooka zanu, mphamvu zanu. Sankhani liwiro lenileni. Dziperekeni ku mfundo zochepa koma zenizeni.
Gawo 7: Dzizungulireni ndi anthu oyenera. Ndizovuta kwambiri kupulumuka kusintha, kusinthira kwa iwo mwachangu, kuwona malo owonda okha. Ngakhale mutakhala kuti ndinu munthu wowona, ino ndi nthawi yopempha thandizo ndi chithandizo. Ndipo ndi bwino kuchita izo mu bwalo la anthu amalingaliro ofanana.
Pangani gulu lothandizira la omwe amakhulupirira inu ndi mphamvu zanu, omwe ali okonzeka kuthandizira m'mawu ndi zochita. Chotsani kukhudzana kosafunika. Zinthu zikasintha, timafunikira njira yopulumutsira mphamvu. Mphamvu zathu zonse ziyenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito pokwaniritsa cholinga ndikudzithandizira tokha, chuma chathu.
Kalanga ine, kuyesayesa kochuluka kumapita m’kuchepetsa iwo amene amatikayika, amene amadzikoka okha. Kapena kungosokoneza mosasamala ku cholinga chachikulu. Mwachitsanzo, munali membala wa komiti ya makolo, koma tsopano, madzulo oti mupite ku mzinda wina, siyani ntchito yothandiza anthu kapena kupeza wina m'malo mwake. Ndipo koposa apo, siyani maubwenzi ndi kulankhulana ndi iwo amene amafooketsa chikhulupiriro chanu mwa inu nokha.
Gawo 8. Yang'anani maudindo anu. Amayi / abambo, mkazi / mwamuna, katswiri, mwana wamkazi, bwenzi / bwenzi, woyang'anira, wogwira ntchito. Ndi ntchito ziti mwa izi zomwe zimawonekera pa nthawi ya kusintha? Kodi mwanayo akudwala? Poyambirira ndi udindo wa amayi. Zina zonse zimazirala mumithunzi. Pakakhala ngozi, izi ndi zachilendo. Posakhalitsa, gawo lachimake lidzadutsa, ndipo maudindo ena pang'onopang'ono amayamba kugwira ntchito.
Koma izi sizimawonekera nthawi zonse kwa okondedwa, ndipo nthawi zina kwa ife tokha. Ndikofunikira kwambiri kuzindikira ndikuvomereza izi. Ndi mnzanu, manejala, mayi, abwenzi, modekha kukambirana ndi kufotokoza zimene zikuchitika m'moyo wanu tsopano, mmene zidzasinthire udindo wanu monga wantchito, bwana, wogonjera, mkazi, mwamuna, mwana wamkazi, mwana. Ndipo kotero - kwa maudindo onse.
Onani pamene mukufunikira chithandizo ndi kumvetsetsa - mu gawo lanji? Kodi udindo wanu waukulu tsopano ndi wotani ndipo ungalimbikitse bwanji ndikuthandizidwa? Mwachitsanzo, kuvomerezana ndi oyang'anira ndikugwira ntchito kunyumba kuti mukhale pafupi ndi mwana wamwamuna kapena wamkazi wodwala kwa nthawi yoyamba. Kukhala ndi mpumulo kwambiri, kulimbikitsidwa ndi mphamvu, kuyenda, masewera. Muzigona mokwanira ndikudya moyenera.
Gawo 9. Dzikhulupirireni nokha. Mwina ichi ndiye chinthu chofunikira kwambiri. Ngakhale zikuwoneka kwa inu kuti pakali pano simukudziwa komwe mungapite, koyambira, osadziwa momwe mungadutse mwachangu kuchoka pakuda kupita koyera, dziuzeni zomwe Scarlett O'Hara adanena: "Ndiganiza. wa chinachake. M’mawa ubwera, ndipo mawa lidzakhala tsiku losiyana kwambiri!”