Momwe timakokera mu ubale wapoizoni

Ubale ndi mnzanu unayamba kuwonongeka, ndipo, choyipa kwambiri, mukuyang'ana chifukwa mwa inu nokha? Akamalankhula mawu achipongwe nthawi zonse osaganizira mmene mukumvera, koma n’kumati zonse zili chifukwa cha inuyo komanso kuti mumayambitsa mavuto, n’zosadabwitsa kusokonezeka maganizo. Ubale wapoizoni umatenga nthawi kuti ukhalepo, ndipo nthawi zambiri, sitizindikira kuti tagwidwa.

Sikovuta kunyengedwa, chifukwa kunja zonse zimawoneka zabwino, makamaka poyamba. Komabe, pansi pamtima nthawi zonse timaona kuti chinachake chalakwika. Tsoka ilo, timasokoneza mawu oganiza pafupipafupi kuti tisakumane ndi zovuta zenizeni. Ngati muwona zizindikiro zisanu ndi zitatuzi, musanyalanyaze: ndiye kuti mukukokedwa muubwenzi woopsa.

1. Kuchita bwino kwanu kumasirira

Mnzakeyo amachita mwaulemu, koma kwenikweni, amangoletsa nsanje ndi mkwiyo? Kodi n'zosasangalatsa kwa iye kuti musangalale ndi kusangalala? Mwina amakuona kuti ndiwe wopikisana naye kapena amakufananiza zimene akwanitsa kuchita ndi zako. Anthu ambiri amene sakhutira ndi moyo wawo amakhumudwa ndi zinthu zabwino zimene ena achita komanso uthenga wabwino.

Anthu omwe ali ndi poizoni amavutika mobisa chifukwa cha kunyozeka, koma amaperekedwa ndi kumwetulira kokakamiza, kukhala chete, kapena mawu onyoza. Choncho amayesetsa kuchepetsa kukhumudwa n’cholinga choti adziteteze kuti asadzakumane ndi mavuto aakulu. Kuchita bwino kwa wina kumawapangitsa kudziona ngati olephera, kumawakumbutsanso kuti sanakwaniritse zomwe amayembekezera.

Zikuwoneka zopanda chilungamo kwa iwo pamene ena apambana - uwu ndi mpikisano wamuyaya kapena mpikisano wamutu wa ngwazi. Mulibe ufulu kukhala wabwino kuposa iwo, apo ayi mudzaphwanyidwa ndi nsanje yakupha.

2. Mumatsutsidwa kapena kuchepetsedwa

Ngati muli ndi "mwayi" kukumana ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto la umunthu wa narcissistic, dziwani kuti anthu otere amasangalala kunyoza ena. Mwachitsanzo, amayesa kusokoneza chipambanocho kapena kupereka ndemanga zonyozeka kuti adzikweze.

Zizindikiro za 5 za munthu wosakhazikika m'maganizo yemwe angakuwonongeni mtima

Sadziona kuti ndi wonyozeka kapena wolakwa: amafunikira kudzudzula ena kuti abwezeretse kudzidalira kwawo kofooka. Amayamikira megalomania yawo, kutsimikizira ena kuti palibe wofanana nawo. Popeza amakhulupirira kuti iwo okha ndi okhawo, sazengereza kudzudzula ena poyera.

3. Mukudzudzulidwa chifukwa cha zolakwa zanu.

Anthu omwe ali ndi poizoni amadzudzula ena chifukwa cha zolakwa zawo ndikupeza njira zowachotsera. Amakwanitsa osati kungotuluka, komanso kusankha olakwa. Amayesa kupeŵa kutsutsidwa kochititsa manyazi ndi kupotoza chowonadi kupeŵa udindo. Choncho, amayesa kupeza mtengo m’diso la munthu amene anganene kuti walephera.

Anachotsedwa ntchito chifukwa bwanayo ndi wosankha. Mwamuna wawo wakale anali wamisala. Ankanyenga chifukwa mnzawo ankakana kugonana nthawi zonse akafuna. Amati ndi inu amene mumayambitsa mavuto, choncho thetsani nokha. Nthawi zonse amakhala ndi wina womuimba mlandu, koma ndi osalakwa.

4. Malingaliro anu samaganiziridwa

Anthu amtundu uwu amakhala ndi mfundo za malingaliro awiri: "zanga ndi zolakwika." Mutha kugwedeza mutu momwe mungafunire povomereza kuti nthawi zonse amakhala olondola, koma izi sizokwanira - amafuna kuzindikirika kwaulamuliro wawo wosakayikiridwa. Abwenzi ndi ozunza anzawo nthawi zonse amadziwa zonse bwino ndipo amakondwera ndi kupambana kwawo. Kuika wina m’chisangalalo sikungowakhutiritsa: kumva kuwawa kwa kudziona kukhala wopanda pake kumachepa.

5. Mukugwiritsidwa ntchito kuti mupindule nokha

Olambira oterowo amadziyerekezera kukhala angwiro kuti apeze munthu woti awapempherere. Koma tsimikizirani kuti mukakhala ndi zosowa zanu, mudzakankhidwira kutali kapena kuchititsidwa manyazi. Siziwawonongera kalikonse kuti awononge malingaliro anu abwino ndikunena zinthu zonyansa. Mumangofunika kupereka zomwe akufunikira: chivomerezo, ndalama, kugonana, chikondi, chithandizo cha makhalidwe, ndi zina zotero.

Nthawi zambiri amazimiririka pambuyo pa deti ndipo amawonekeranso pakafunika chinachake. Ndinu osangalatsa ndendende bola mutha kupeza china kuchokera kwa inu. Mwachitsanzo, masiku ano ndikofunikira kuti wina azisilira kapena kuthandiza kubwezeretsa kudzikonda kogwedezeka.

Mawa amamanga khoma losakhomedwa kapena “kupita mobisa” kuti asasonyeze kupanda ungwiro kwawo. Nzosadabwitsa kuti anthu ambiri sadziwa kuti iwo ndi ndani kwenikweni. Amadziona kuti ndi ofunika, amadziganizira okha ndikuyamba maubwenzi kuti apindule okha.

6. Pamaso panu ndinu mwamuna mu chigoba

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za ubale wapoizoni ndi kusatsimikizika, mtundu wa vacuum, popeza anthu otere sanena chilichonse chokhudza iwo eni. Amanamizira kuti zonse zili bwino ndi iwo, akuwopa kuwoneka osatetezeka. Chifukwa chake, anthu a narcissistic nthawi zambiri amalingalira zomwe akufuna kumva kuchokera kwa iwo, ndikusewera mwaluso malingaliro ofananirako kuti akwaniritse zolinga zawo. Chowonadi chimavumbulutsidwa pamene iwo akukhala ogontha m’maganizo ponena za zosoŵa za ena.

7. Wokondedwa alibe chikumbumtima kapena wachifundo

Sangathe kumvera chisoni kapena kulapa khalidwe lawo, chifukwa amadziona kuti ali ndi ufulu wochita zimene akufuna, popanda kuganizira ena. Ngati wina sakukwaniritsa zofunikira zawo, amavomereza modekha kuukira kapena maubale kumbali. Amapereka chithunzithunzi cha kukhala okoma mtima kapena kunamizira kukhala achifundo kuti apindule. Osadzisangalatsa nokha, mukufunikira kokha kuti mukwaniritse zofuna zawo, malingaliro anu alibe chidwi ndi aliyense.

8. Aliyense ndi woipa

Anthu omwe ali ndi poizoni amasamutsa kudzimva kuti ndi otsika kwa ena, amawakayikira kuti ndi achinyengo ndipo amangowona zophophonya, motero amadziteteza kuti asazindikire zenizeni zawo. Iwo ali mu mphamvu ya zowonetsera choncho amawona dziko lapansi ngati galasi lopotoka. Zikuwoneka kwa iwo kuti aliyense ndi wofanana ndi iwo, kapena kani, ku gawo lomwe amabisala mwachangu.

Kuzungulira kuli oukira, majeremusi, odzikuza kapena ochita chinyengo. Mudzawukiridwa ndikukhumudwitsidwa ndi chinthu chomwe sichimafanana ndi inu - amangowona choncho. Ngati muzindikira wokondedwa wanu muzofotokozera izi, koma simukufuna kuthetsa chiyanjano, iyi ndi njira yabwino yophunzirira kuti musamatsutse nokha, koma kuti mudziwe yemwe mukuchita naye.

Kumbukirani kuti kawopsedwe si khalidwe lachibadwa. Zikuoneka kuti mnzakeyo anatengera makolo ake nsanje omwe ankangokhalira kumudzudzula ndi kumuchititsa manyazi, choncho anafunika kudzibisa. Mwinamwake anakakamizika kutsatira miyezo yawo, kuchita zimene iwo amafuna, kuti atamandidwe. Ndipo ngati ziyembekezo za makolo sizinali zolungamitsidwa, iye anadzimva kukhala wolephera. Nthawi ina adauzidwa kuti sikungakhululukidwe kulakwitsa, ndipo dziko lake linasintha mpaka kalekale.

Anthu owopsa sangangodzikoka okha ndikuvomereza kuti amasewera gawo lawo muubwenzi wovuta. Mavuto akabuka, amayamba kuchita mantha, choncho amakankhira mnzawoyo, kumunyoza ndi kumunena. Amabwerera m'mbuyo atakhumudwa ndi kudzipereka, ngakhale kuti amamvetsa kuti sanamuchitire chilungamo.

Samalani pamene chipongwe chikuwulukirani. Mwachidziwikire, mulibe chochita nazo, koma kudzidalira kumatha kuvutika kwambiri. Ngati mungathe kudzipatula nokha kwa wozunzayo, ndiye kuti mudzatha kudziteteza ku kaduka kowononga ndi kuzunzidwa. Ngati mumvetsetsa kuti muli ndi munthu wovulazidwa pamaso panu, phunzirani kudzimasula nokha ku zolakwa zomwe zaikidwa komanso kukhala ndi udindo pazomwe simuyenera kuchita.

Ngati simungathe kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu ndi kufunsa mosapita m’mbali chifukwa chake padziko lapansi mukunyozedwa, ingakhale nthaŵi yolingalira chifukwa chimene mwalolera kuchitiridwa mwanjira imeneyi ndi kuyesanso kudzikonda. Ndipo chinthu chinanso: ngati muzindikira zizindikiro zochenjeza, mutha kungochokapo ndikumanga ubale wabwino ndi munthu wina.

Za Mlembi: Nancy Carbone ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo yemwe amakhazikika pakukulitsa kudzidalira ndikumanga maubwenzi abwino m'mabanja.