Zamkatimu
- 1. Timapewa kulankhula zinthu zochititsa manyazi kapena zochititsa manyazi.
- 2. Mantha amatilepheretsa kufotokoza za ndalama.
- 3. Ndi anthu ochepa omwe ali okonzeka kukambirana zomwe zimawakumbutsa nthawi zosasangalatsa kuyambira ali mwana.
- 4. Ndalama nthawi zambiri zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi mutu wa ulamuliro ndi mphamvu m'banja.
- 5. Ngakhale okwatirana ogwirizana angasemphane maganizo pankhani ya kugwiritsira ntchito ndalama.
Zikuoneka kuti kugonana si nkhani yonyansa kwambiri m'mabanja. Malinga ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Barbara Greenberg, nkhani yovuta kwambiri ndi ndalama. Katswiriyo amalankhula mwatsatanetsatane komanso ndi zitsanzo za chifukwa chake zili choncho komanso momwe mungakambirane nkhaniyi.
M’mabanja ambiri, ndi chizolowezi kulankhula momasuka za zinthu zosiyanasiyana, koma kwa ambiri, ngakhale kukambitsirana za kugonana kumakhala kosavuta kuposa nkhani imodzi yokha yowopsa. “Ndaona nthaŵi zambiri okwatirana akuuzana za malongosoledwe awo achinsinsi, kukwiyira ana, ndipo ngakhale mavuto aakulu a ubwenzi ndi kuntchito,” anatero katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi banja, Barbara Greenberg. "Zikafika pankhaniyi, okwatirana amakhala chete, amakhala ndi mantha kwambiri ndipo amayesa kusintha nkhaniyo kukhala ina iliyonse, kuphatikiza maubwenzi ogonana komanso okhudzidwa."
Ndiye, ndi mutu uti womwe wazunguliridwa ndi chophimba chodabwitsa choterocho ndipo nchiyani chomwe chimapangitsa kuti chiwopsyeze? Ndi ndalama, kaya kusowa kapena kuchulukira. Timapewa kukambitsirana nkhani zandalama, zomwe zimadzetsa chinsinsi ndi mabodza, ndiyeno kumayambitsa mavuto abanja. N’chifukwa chiyani zimenezi zikuchitika? Barbara Greenberg anatchula zifukwa zingapo.
1. Timapewa kulankhula zinthu zochititsa manyazi kapena zochititsa manyazi.
“Ndikudziwa mwamuna wazaka 39 amene sanauze mkazi wake kuti anatenga ngongole zambiri monga wophunzira ndipo anayenera kuzilipira kwa zaka zambiri,” akukumbukira motero Greenberg. Nayenso anali ndi ngongole yaikulu ya kirediti kadi. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, aliyense wa iwo anaphunzira za ngongole imene inapachikidwa pa mnzakeyo. Koma, mwatsoka, ukwati wawo sunapulumuke: iwo anakwiyirana wina ndi mzake chifukwa cha zinsinsi izi, ndipo ubalewo unasokonekera.
2. Mantha amatilepheretsa kufotokoza za ndalama.
Ambiri amawopa kuti abwenzi angasinthe malingaliro awo ngati apeza ndalama zomwe amapeza, choncho osatchula kukula kwa malipiro. Koma kwenikweni ndi mantha amenewa omwe nthawi zambiri amatsogolera ku kusamvana ndi malingaliro olakwika. Greenberg akufotokoza za kasitomala yemwe ankaganiza kuti mwamuna wake ndi wankhanza chifukwa adampatsa mphatso zotsika mtengo. Koma kwenikweni, sanali wotopa. Munthu wowolowa manjayu ankangoyesa kusunga bajeti yake.
Pa chithandizo, adadandaula kuti mwamuna wake samamuyamikira, ndipo pamene adapeza kuti amamuyamikira kwambiri ndipo akuyesera kusunga ndalama za tsogolo lawo. Mwamuna wake anafunikira chithandizo cha psychotherapist: ankawopa kuti mkazi wake angakhumudwe mwa iye ngati atapeza ndalama zomwe amapeza. M’malomwake, anayamikira kwambiri kufotokoza kwake momasuka ndipo anayamba kumumvetsa bwino. Awiriwa anali ndi mwayi: adakambirana mwachangu nkhani zachuma ndipo adakwanitsa kupulumutsa banja.
3. Ndi anthu ochepa omwe ali okonzeka kukambirana zomwe zimawakumbutsa nthawi zosasangalatsa kuyambira ali mwana.
Zochitika zakale nthawi zambiri zimatipangira ndalama kukhala chizindikiro ndi mawu ofanana ndi mavuto. Mwinamwake iwo nthaŵi zonse anali osoŵa, ndipo kuyesa kuwapeza kunali vuto kwa makolo kapena mayi wosakwatiwa. Zingakhale zovuta kwa atate kunena kuti "Ndimakukondani" ndipo m'malo mwake adagwiritsa ntchito ndalama monga ndalama zamaganizo. Mavuto azachuma m’banja angayambitse mwana kupsinjika maganizo kwambiri, ndipo tsopano n’kovuta kuimba munthu wamkulu mlandu chifukwa chopeŵa nkhani yovuta imeneyi.
4. Ndalama nthawi zambiri zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi mutu wa ulamuliro ndi mphamvu m'banja.
Ubale umene mwamuna amapeza zambiri ndipo, pazifukwa izi, amalamulira banja: unilaterally amasankha kumene banja lidzapita kutchuthi, ngati kugula galimoto yatsopano, kukonza nyumba, ndi zina zotero, akadali kutali ndi zachilendo. . Amakonda kudzimva kuti ali ndi mphamvu, choncho sauza mkazi wake kuchuluka kwa ndalama zomwe ali nazo. Koma maubwenzi oterowo amasintha kwambiri mkazi akayamba kupeza ndalama zambiri kapena akalandira cholowa. Banjali likulimbana ndi ulamuliro ndi mphamvu. Ukwati ukuphulika pa seams ndipo amafuna ntchito «kukonza».
5. Ngakhale okwatirana ogwirizana angasemphane maganizo pankhani ya kugwiritsira ntchito ndalama.
Mwamuna amene ndalama za galimoto yake zimakwana madola masauzande angapo, angakwiye ngati mkazi wake amagulira ana zidole zamagetsi zodula. Barbara Greenberg akufotokoza za kafukufuku amene mkazi wina anakakamiza ana ake kubisira atate awo zida zatsopano kuti apewe mikangano. Anawapemphanso kuti nthawi zina aname n’kunena kuti zidolezo anapatsidwa ndi agogo ake. Mwachiwonekere, banjali linali ndi mavuto angapo, koma panthawi ya chithandizo iwo anathetsedwa, pambuyo pake okwatiranawo anayandikira kwambiri.
“Ndalama ndizovuta kwa maanja ambiri, ndipo ngati nkhanizi sizikambidwa, zitha kutha. Chodabwitsa chotere, chifukwa okwatirana nthawi zambiri amapewa zokambirana zachuma chifukwa choopa kuti zokambiranazi zingasokoneze mgwirizano wawo. Mapeto amadziwonetsera okha: nthawi zambiri, kumasuka ndi chisankho choyenera. Tengani mwayi ndipo mwachiyembekezo kuti ubale wanu udzakhalapo pakanthawi kochepa. ”
Za wolemba: Barbara Greenberg ndi katswiri wazamisala.