Chikondi ndi malamulo: cholakwika ndi chiyani ndi nkhani zopeka zachikondi?

Tikukula, tikutsanzikana ndi dziko lamatsenga la nthano. Timamvetsetsa kuti dzuŵa silidzatuluka pa lamulo la pike, palibe chuma chomwe chidzaikidwa m'munda, ndipo jini yamphamvu yonse sichidzawoneka kuchokera ku nyali yakale ndikusintha mnzake wa m'kalasi wovulaza kukhala muskrat.

Komabe, zonyenga zina zikusinthidwa ndi zina - zomwe mafilimu achikondi ndi mabuku amatipatsa mowolowa manja. Wafilosofi Alain de Botton anati: “Kukonda zachikondi kumatsutsana ndi chizoloŵezi, chilakolako chofuna kusankha zinthu mwanzeru, kulimbana ndi moyo wamtendere. Mikangano, zovuta komanso kuyembekezera kwanthawi yayitali kwa denouement kumapangitsa ntchitoyo kukhala yosangalatsa. Koma pamene ife tokha tiyesera kuganiza ndi kumverera ngati ngwazi za filimu yomwe timakonda, ziyembekezo zathu zimatitembenukira.

Aliyense ayenera kupeza "theka lina"

M'moyo, timakumana ndi zosankha zambiri za maubwenzi osangalala. Zimachitika kuti anthu awiri amakwatirana pazifukwa zomveka, koma amadzazidwa ndi chifundo chenicheni kwa wina ndi mzake. Zimachitikanso motere: timayamba kukondana, koma timazindikira kuti sitingagwirizane, ndikusankha kuchoka. Kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti ubalewu unali wolakwika? M’malo mwake, chinali chochitika chamtengo wapatali chimene chinatithandiza kudzidziŵa bwino.

Nkhani zomwe tsogolo limabweretsa ngwazi limodzi kapena kuwalekanitsa mbali zosiyanasiyana zikuwoneka kuti zimatiseka: zabwino zili pano, ndikungoyendayenda kwinakwake. Fulumirani, yang'anani zonse ziwiri, apo ayi mudzaphonya chisangalalo chanu.

Mu filimu "Mr. Palibe» ngwaziyo amakhala ndi zosankha zingapo zamtsogolo. Zosankha zomwe amapanga ali mwana zimamubweretsa pamodzi ndi akazi atatu osiyana - koma ndi mmodzi yekha amene amamva kuti ali wokondwadi. Olembawo akuchenjeza kuti chimwemwe chathu chimadalira pa zosankha zomwe timapanga. Koma kusankha uku kumveka kokulirapo: pezani chikondi cha moyo wanu, kapena lakwitsani.

Povomereza malamulo awa amasewera, timadzipangira tokha kukayikira kosatha. Ngakhale titakumana ndi munthu woyenera, timakayikira - kodi ndi wabwinodi? Kodi amatimvetsa? Kapena mwina mukadasiya chilichonse ndikuyenda ndi wojambula yemwe adayimba mokongola kwambiri ndi gitala paphwando lamakampani? Zomwe kuponyera uku kungayambitse zitha kuwoneka mu chitsanzo cha tsogolo la Emma Bovary kuchokera m'buku la Flaubert.

"Anakhala ubwana wake wonse m'nyumba ya masisitere, yozunguliridwa ndi nthano zachikondi zoledzeretsa," akukumbukira Allen de Botton. - Chotsatira chake, adadziuzira yekha kuti wosankhidwa wake ayenera kukhala munthu wangwiro, wokhoza kumvetsa mozama moyo wake ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo amamusangalatsa mwaluntha komanso kugonana. Osapeza mikhalidwe imeneyi mwa mwamuna wake, adayesa kuwawona mwa okonda - ndikudziwononga yekha.

Chikondi chiyenera kupindula koma sichiyenera kusungidwa

Katswiri wa zamaganizo Robert Johnson, wolemba buku lakuti “Us: The Deep Aspects of Romantic Love” analemba kuti: “Nthaŵi zambiri za moyo wathu timathera polakalaka ndi kufunafuna chinthu chimene sitikuchilingalira n’komwe.” "Kukayika nthawi zonse, kusintha kuchokera kwa okondedwa wina kupita kwa wina, tilibe nthawi yoti tidziwe momwe zimakhalira kukhala pachibwenzi." Koma kodi mungadziimbe mlandu? Kodi ichi sichitsanzo chomwe timachiwona m'mafilimu aku Hollywood?

Okonda amalekanitsidwa, chinachake chimasokoneza nthawi zonse ubale wawo. Pokhapokha kumapeto komwe amathera limodzi. Koma sitikudziwa momwe tsogolo lawo lidzakhalire patsogolo. Ndipo nthawi zambiri sitifuna ngakhale kudziwa, chifukwa timaopa chiwonongeko cha idyll chotheka movutikira.

Alain de Botton anati: “M’miyoyo ya ambiri aife, vuto lalikulu limakhala losiyana kwambiri ndi la akatswiri olemba mabuku ndi mafilimu. “Kupeza bwenzi lomwe lingatiyenerere ndi sitepe yoyamba yokha. Kenako, tiyenera kugwirizana ndi munthu amene sitikumudziwa bwino.

Apa ndipamene chinyengo chomwe chili mu lingaliro la chikondi chachikondi chimawululidwa. Mnzathu sanabadwe kuti atisangalatse. Mwinanso tidzazindikira kuti tinalakwitsa pa wosankhidwa wathu. Kuchokera pamalingaliro amalingaliro achikondi, izi ndi tsoka, koma nthawi zina izi ndizomwe zimapangitsa kuti abwenzi adziwane bwino ndikuthetsa chinyengo.

Ngati tikayikira - moyo udzayankha yankho

Mabuku ndi zowonera zimamvera malamulo ofotokozera: zochitika nthawi zonse zimayenda momwe wolemba amafunira. Ngati ngwazi zigawanika, ndiye kuti patatha zaka zambiri amatha kukumana - ndipo msonkhano uwu udzawonjezera malingaliro awo. M'moyo, m'malo mwake, pali zochitika zambiri, ndipo zochitika nthawi zambiri zimachitika mosagwirizana, popanda kugwirizana wina ndi mzake. Koma malingaliro achikondi amatikakamiza kufunafuna (ndi kupeza!) kugwirizana. Mwachitsanzo, tingasankhe kuti mwamwayi kukumana ndi munthu amene timakondana naye kale sikunangochitika mwangozi. Mwina ndi chidziwitso cha tsoka?

M’moyo weniweni, chilichonse chikhoza kuchitika. Tikhoza kukondana wina ndi mnzake, kenaka kuziziritsa, kenako n’kuzindikiranso mmene ubwenzi wathu ulili wamtengo wapatali kwa ife. M'mabuku achikondi ndi mafilimu, kayendetsedwe kameneka kawirikawiri kamakhala kumbali imodzi: pamene otchulidwawo azindikira kuti malingaliro awo azizira, amabalalika m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Ngati wolemba alibe mapulani ena kwa iwo.

Alain de Botton anati: “Poyesa kuzindikira zizindikiro zimene amati zimatichitikira, timadzinyenga tokha. "Zikuwoneka kwa ife kuti moyo wathu ukulamulidwa ndi china chake chakunja, ndipo chifukwa chake timapewa udindo pazosankha zathu."

Chikondi chimatanthauza chilakolako

Makanema ngati Fall in Love with Me If You Dare amapereka kaimidwe kosanyengerera: ubale womwe malingaliro amakwezedwa mpaka malire ndiwofunika kwambiri kuposa mtundu wina uliwonse wachikondi. Polephera kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo mwachindunji, otchulidwawo amazunzana wina ndi mzake, akuvutika ndi chiwopsezo chawo ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo akuyesera kuti athetsere winayo, kumukakamiza kuti avomereze kufooka kwake. Amasweka, amapeza abwenzi ena, amayamba mabanja, koma patapita zaka zambiri amamvetsetsa: moyo woyezera mwa okwatirana sudzawapatsa chisangalalo chomwe adakumana nacho wina ndi mnzake.

Sheryl Paul, yemwe ndi katswiri wa matenda ovutika maganizo, anati: “Kuyambira tili ana, timazolowera kuona anthu otchulidwa m’nkhaniyi akungothamangitsana m’njira zenizeni komanso mophiphiritsa. "Timayika ndondomekoyi, timayiphatikiza muzolemba zathu zaubwenzi. Timazoloŵera kuti chikondi ndi sewero lokhazikika, kuti chinthu chokhumba chiyenera kukhala kutali komanso chosatheka, kuti n'zotheka kufika kwa wina ndikuwonetsa malingaliro athu mwa nkhanza zamaganizo.

Zotsatira zake, timamanga nkhani yathu yachikondi molingana ndi machitidwewa ndikudula chilichonse chomwe chikuwoneka mosiyana. Kodi tingadziwe bwanji ngati mnzathu ndi woyenera kwa ife? Tiyenera kudzifunsa kuti: Kodi timachita mantha ndi iye? Kodi timachitira ena nsanje? Kodi pali chinachake chosafikirika, choletsedwa mmenemo?

Sheryl Paul akufotokoza kuti: “Kutsatira zibwenzi, timagwera mumsampha. - M'mafilimu, nkhani ya otchulidwa imathera pa siteji ya kugwa m'chikondi. M'moyo, maubwenzi amakula kwambiri: chilakolako chimachepa, ndipo kuzizira kokongola kwa mnzanu kumatha kukhala kudzikonda, ndi kupanduka - kusakhwima.

Tikavomereza kukhala ndi moyo wa wolemba mabuku kapena mafilimu, timayembekezera kuti zonse ziziyenda molingana ndi dongosolo. Tsoka lidzatitumizira Chikondi panthawi yoyenera. Adzatikankhira motsutsana ndi Iye (kapena Iye) pakhomo, ndipo pamene tisonkhanitsa mwamanyazi zinthu zomwe zagwa kuchokera m'manja mwathu, kumverera kudzauka pakati pathu. Ngati ichi ndi choikidwiratu, ndithudi tidzakhala pamodzi, ziribe kanthu zomwe zingachitike.

Pokhala ndi script, timakhala akaidi a malamulo omwe amagwira ntchito m'dziko lopeka chabe. Koma ngati tipitilira chiwembucho, ndikulavula malingaliro achikondi, zinthu zitha kukhala zotopetsa pang'ono kuposa zomwe timakonda. Koma kumbali ina, tidzamvetsetsa kuchokera ku zomwe takumana nazo zomwe tikufunadi komanso momwe tingagwirizanitse zokhumba zathu ndi zofuna za mnzathu.

Gwero: Financial Times.