Kumverera kopanda pake ndi kumverera kolowa m'malo, komwe kumalowa m'malo mwakumverera kwenikweni, zenizeni, kutengeka, kapena chosowa.
Kudzimvera chisoni kumatanthauzidwa ngati kumverera kokhazikika komanso kulimbikitsidwa muubwana, wokumana ndi zovuta zosiyanasiyana komanso zomwe sizingathandizire kuthetsa mavuto achikulire.
Mwachitsanzo, mayi wina ali mtsikana, anaphunzira m’banja lake kulimbana ndi mkwiyo mwa kudwala. Pokhala wamkulu kale komanso kukhala ndi zinthu zachikulire, amagwiritsabe ntchito mphamvu yaukali kuupondereza, kukhala nayo, kusintha malingaliro ena - chisoni, mkwiyo, kaduka, chisoni kapena kupweteka kwathupi. Mwachitsanzo, adadwala, adalandira chisamaliro kuchokera kwa anthu apamtima, adalimbikitsidwanso ndi zikwapu kulondola kwa njira yosankhidwa yoyankhira. Koma sizinathetse vuto la kupsa mtima. Gwero latsala, ndipo lidzaputanso mkwiyo.
Nthawi zonse, zimafunika mphamvu ndi mphamvu kuti athetse mkwiyo. Matenda a Psychosomatic ndi matenda omwe adzaperekedwa kwa mkazi ndipo thupi lidzachiritsidwa. Kudwala kulibe manyazi. Ndizochititsa manyazi kuvomereza kulephera, kulephera kapena kugonja kwa munthu m'mbali iliyonse ya moyo. Chithunzi cha dokotala ndi chodziwika bwino komanso cholimbikitsidwa ndi anthu. Chithunzi cha katswiri wa zamaganizo, psychotherapist ndi chachilendo. Matenda a Psychosomatic amafunika kuthandizidwa, koma dokotala amangochiritsa thupi. Ngati "moyo" sunachiritsidwe, ndiye kuti pali chododometsa. Kuchiritsa thupi popanda kuchiritsa moyo kumalimbitsa dongosolo la ma racket ndikupangitsa kuti matendawa akhale "osachiritsika". Wodwala amalandira zikwapu kwa dokotala mu mawonekedwe a tcheru matenda, chisamaliro, mankhwala, ndondomeko, malangizo kukhala pabedi. Nthawi zina dokotala amakhala munthu yekhayo amene ali ndi chidwi ndi wodwalayo. Dokotala akhoza kukulitsa chizindikirocho kwa zaka zambiri, n’kulowa muubwenzi wogwirizana ndi kholo ndi mwana ndi kulanga wodwalayo chifukwa chofuna kufotokoza zakukhosi kwake. Mwachitsanzo, kusangalala kumva bwino kapena kukwiya chifukwa cha kupanda pake kwa chithandizo. “Sindingakukonde ngati uchira,” uthenga wobisika wa dokotalayo. Njira zamaganizidwe ndizosiyana. Ntchito ya psychotherapeutic ntchito ndi umunthu wokhwima wa kasitomala, wokhoza kuthana ndi mavuto omwe akubwera. Munthu yemwe ali ndi mbiri yodzikweza ya Akuluakulu yemwe amasankha yekha kukhala wathanzi kapena kudwala.
Racketeering ndikusewera njira zakale zamakhalidwe, zomwe nthawi zambiri zimatengedwa ubwana ndikuthandizira nthawi zakutali. Koma panopa, salinso njira zopambana.
Muubwana, mwanayo, kusonyeza kutengeka maganizo, analandira kwa nthawi yaitali sitiroko kuchokera ziwerengero makolo. "Pano ndi tsopano", atazunguliridwa ndi munthu wamkulu, nthawi zonse padzakhala wina amene adzapereka zikwapu izi, popeza ife tokha timasankha malo athu. Nthawi iliyonse mukakumana ndi zovuta, machitidwe aubwanawa amabwerezedwa mosazindikira. Komabe, malingaliro ndi zosowa zenizeni sizidzakwaniritsidwa. Kuthamangitsidwa mkati, iwo adziwonetsera okha mu mawonekedwe a psychosomatic reaction, phobias, mantha.
Ana amaphunzira kukhala ndi malingaliro a racket monga njira yopezera zosowa za banja lawo, monga njira yopezera sitiroko. Anyamata amaphunzitsidwa kupondereza mantha, chisoni, kupweteka, koma mukhoza kukwiya, kusonyeza chiwawa. "Usalire, ndiwe mwamuna. Msilikali wanga wamng'ono! Choncho mwa mwamuna amayamba kupsa mtima, chiwawa chochotsa mantha ndi ululu. Komano atsikana amaphunzitsidwa kuti m’malo mwa mkwiyo m’malo mwa kulira kapena chisoni, ngakhale atakhala kuti akufuna kubwezera. "Ndiwe mtsikana, ungamenyane bwanji!"
Chikhalidwe, chipembedzo, malingaliro a anthu amagwiritsanso ntchito njira ya racket. Chochititsa chidwi n'chakuti zifukwa zodzimvera chisoni ndizo zabwino, zolungama, komanso zachilungamo.
Nachi chitsanzo cha membala wa gulu lathu lachipatala. Elena, wazaka 38, dokotala. “Ndinali ndi zaka khumi. Kenako bambo anga ankagwira ntchito yokonza kompositi. Ananditengera kumunda. Unali mphukira. Tinadzuka m’bandakucha, kusanache. Atayandikira kumunda, kunali mbandakucha. Minda ikuluikulu ya tirigu wagolide, ngati kuti yamoyo, inkasunthidwa ndi kamphepo kakang'ono ndikunyezimira. Ndinkaona ngati anali ndi moyo ndipo ankalankhula nane. Joy, chisangalalo. Lingaliro lalikulu la umodzi ndi dziko lapansi, chilengedwe. Mwadzidzidzi, mantha - sikuli bwino kukondwera kotero, chifukwa pozungulira anthu ali otanganidwa ndi ntchito, kukolola usana ndi usiku. Kodi ndikusangalala?! Kudziimba mlandu, chisoni chinalowa m’malo mwa chisangalalo. Sindinafune kukhalabe m'munda." Ichi ndi chitsanzo chowoneka bwino chakusintha chisangalalo chenicheni ndi mantha achinyengo, kudziimba mlandu. Ndipo malingaliro amadzaza ndi mkwiyo wolungama: "Mumasangalala, koma anthu amavutika." Chifukwa chiyani sitingagwire ntchito mosangalala?
Malingaliro adziko akusintha malingaliro enieni ndi malingaliro achinyengo amatsatiridwa bwino m'nthano zamtundu wa anthu komanso nthano. Ivanushki, Emelya nthawi zambiri m'malo mantha ndi kungokhala wopusa khalidwe. "Vanka akugwedezeka." Miyambi yambiri ndi zonena zimawonetsa njira yoloweza m'malo kapena ndi chenjezo lakuwonetsa malingaliro ndi malingaliro enieni. Mwachitsanzo: "Poyambirira kambalame kakang'ono kanayimba - mosasamala kanthu kuti mphaka adadya bwanji", "Kuseka popanda chifukwa ndi chizindikiro cha chitsiru", "Iwe umaseka kwambiri - udzalira mowawa."
Ndikofunikira kuti ntchito yochizira isiyanitse pakati pa malingaliro a racket ndi zowona zenizeni zomwe zili pansi pawo. Pakuwunika kwapang'onopang'ono, zimavomerezedwa kuti pali malingaliro anayi okha ngati malingaliro oyambira: mkwiyo, chisoni, mantha, chisangalalo. Ichi ndi chizindikiro choyamba cha kusiyana.
Malingaliro a racket satha, monga manyazi, nsanje, kukhumudwa, kudziimba mlandu, mkwiyo, kusokonezeka, kukhumudwa, kusowa thandizo, kukhumudwa, kusamvetsetsana, etc.
Funso likhoza kubuka, molumikizana ndi ziti zomwe nthawi zina zimakhala ndi dzina lofanana ndi zenizeni? Chisoni, mantha, chimwemwe, mkwiyo ukhoza kukhala chinyengo. Mwachitsanzo, wamba mkazi manipulative strategy. Mkwiyo sungathe kufotokozedwa poyera, chifukwa mkazi ayenera kukhala wachifundo, wofooka komanso wopanda chitetezo. Koma mukhoza kulira, chisoni kuti simukumvetsa. Kukhumudwa, pout. Mkaziyo adasintha mkwiyo weniweni ndi malingaliro achisoni, koma kale chinyengo. Kuwongolera ntchito yozindikira malingaliro a racket, pali chizindikiro chachiwiri cha kusiyana.
Kumverera kowona kumabweretsa yankho la vuto "pano ndi pano", kuthetsa ndi kutha kwa zinthu. Zomverera zachinyengo - musapereke kumaliza.
Mbali yachitatu idaperekedwa ndi John Thompson. Anafotokoza kugwirizana kwa malingaliro enieni ndi njira yothetsera mavuto pakapita nthawi. Mkwiyo weniweni umathandizira kuthetsa vutoli pakadali pano. Mantha ali m'tsogolo. Chisoni - kumathandiza kunena zabwino kwa zakale, kuthetsa vutoli ndi kutsazikana naye. Chisangalalo chenicheni - alibe malire a nthawi ndi zizindikiro «Palibe kusintha kofunikira!»
Taganizirani chitsanzo ichi. Viktor, dokotala wazaka 45, anali atakwera galimoto ya sitima. Nditatuluka m’chipindacho, ndinamva fungo la moto ndi utsi. Malingaliro enieni a mantha anaponderezedwa ndi iye kaamba ka kudekha. "Ndine mwamuna kuti, monga mkazi, ndidzachita mantha." Anakhala mwaulemu ndikudikirira pamene wina akugwedeza stopcock. Victor anathandiza kutulutsa katundu wa anthu ena amene anali m’galimoto ya utsiyo. Moto utabuka ndipo galimotoyo idayamba kuyaka, adakonzeka ndipo anali womaliza kusiya galimotoyo. Anagwira chilichonse chomwe chimabwera m'manja mwake ndikutuluka m'galimoto yomwe idayaka. Anatentha nkhope ndi manja, zipsera zidatsalira. Paulendo umenewo, Victor ananyamula katundu wofunika kwambiri amene anawotchedwa.
Kotero, mantha omwe anali owona kwa Victor kumayambiriro kwa moto akanamuthandiza kuthetsa mavuto «m'tsogolomu» - katundu wake adzakhalabe osavulazidwa, osawotchedwa, nkhope yake ndi manja ake sizidzawotchedwa. Victor anasankha kusiya mantha ndi kusalabadira ndi kudekha. Moto utatha, anayenera kusiya ntchito yake n’kusamukira mumzinda wina. Imfa ya katunduyo sanakhululukidwe kwa iye. Mkaziyo sanafune kusamukira ku mzinda wina, anathetsa banja.
Katswiri wodziwika bwino wamasiku ano Fanita English ("Racket and Real Feelings", TA, 1971. No. 4) adasanthula mwatsatanetsatane magawo a kutuluka kwa racketeering. M'malingaliro ake, pali mbali zitatu za malingaliro amunthu wokhwima: kuzindikira, mawu ndi zochita.
Kuzindikira ndiko kudziwa za iwe mwini, zakunja ndi zamkati. Pogwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zisanuzo, munthu amalandira chidziwitso kuchokera ku mphamvu za thupi lake. Amasefa zomwe akumana nazo ndikufika pakuzindikira motsimikiza zomwe zikuchitika kwa iye, dziko lapansi ndi thupi pakali pano. Mwachitsanzo, munthu amaona, kumva ndi kuzindikira kuti tsopano akukumana ndi ululu waukulu chala chaching’ono cha phazi lake lamanzere, chimene chinapondedwa ndi galu wake wokondedwa.
Kufotokozera zakukhosi ndikuwonetsa kwawo mothandizidwa ndi thupi kapena mawu. “Choka, galu wopusa iwe,” akutero mwamunayo, natulutsa mwendo wake pansi pa ntchafu za nyamayo. Nthawi zambiri zochita zimachitikira munthu kapena chinachake, monga galu. Tisanachitepo kanthu, timasankha pakati pa kuchitapo kanthu ndi kusachitapo kanthu. Kumenya galu kapena ayi? Akuluakulu ali ndi mwayi wosankha mwanzeru, kuchitapo kanthu, ndi kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo. Mwana wamng'ono alibe mwayi wosankha mwanzeru, popeza mbali zitatu zomwe zatchulidwa za malingaliro akumverera sizimapangidwa mwa iye nthawi imodzi. Mwanayo amayamba kuchita bwino (mbali yachitatu) nthawi imodzi ndi chiwonetsero chodzidzimutsa cha machitidwe amalingaliro (mbali yachiwiri) ndipo izi zimachitika kudzidziwitsa kusanachitike (mbali yoyamba). Choncho, akuluakulu amapanga chidziwitso kwa mwanayo. Mwanayo akufotokoza mmene akumvera, ndipo khololo limachitchula, kufotokoza chomwe chimayambitsa ndi zotsatira zake. Mwachitsanzo, “Kodi mukukayikakayika tsopano? Mukuchita mantha. Bwerani m'manja mwanga, amayi akutetezani, mulibe chitetezo, ndipo dziko ndi lankhanza. Mwana adzagwiritsa ntchito Adult ego state kuti adziwe, koma kenako. Nthawi zambiri, Mwana Woleredwa, wosinthika amavomereza ndikuvomereza kutanthauzira kwa makolo pa zomwe zikuchitika. Mwanayo akamakula, kudzikonda kwake kwa Achikulire, komwe mwina kudaipitsidwa ndi kudzikonda kwa mwana, kumatengera zomwe kholo likuganiza. Adzayesa "kudzidzimutsa" monga kuyankha kwa mantha, osati chisangalalo kapena kuzizira, mwachitsanzo.
Tiyeni tibwerere ku zomverera. M'banja mwathu muli ana aakazi awiri - Katya ndi Ksenia. Onse a iwo mochenjera amamva malire awo ndipo amawona kuswa malire mwamphamvu kwambiri. Tiyerekeze kuti Ksenya anatenga chinthu ankakonda Katya popanda kufunsa. Ataona izi, Katya anakwiya ndipo anamenya mlongo wake. Ksenya anagwetsa misozi ndikuthamangira kwa agogo ake. Agogo athu aakazi si psychotherapist, choncho amachita mofanana, "mwaumunthu". “Ndiwe mtsikana, sungathe kumenyana,” anatero agogowo. Motero, imanyalanyaza ndi kuletsa kumverera kwa mkwiyo mwa mdzukulu. Agogo aakazi amapereka zochita zokha. "Mikangano yonse iyenera kuthetsedwa mwamtendere," agogo akupitiriza ndikupereka njira. "Ndiwe msungwana wanzeru, Katya," akukonzekera ndi sitiroko.
Zoyenera kuchita komanso kulera ana? Pali njira ziwiri zomwe timagwiritsa ntchito mwachangu monga makolo ndi ana awo komanso ngati othandizira pantchito za psychotherapeutic. Njira yoyamba ndiyo kukuphunzitsani kulekanitsa malingaliro ndi zochita. Njira yachiwiri ndikuphunzitsa momwe mungasankhire njira yabwino yofotokozera zakukhosi komanso zochita zogwira mtima.
Tiyeni tibwerere kwa ana athu aakazi. Khololo limati: “Ndikuona mmene iwe Katya umakwiyira Ksenya. Koma inu simuloledwa kumumenya.” Kholo silinyalanyaza, koma limavomereza kukwiyako, koma sililola mlongoyo kuvulazidwa. “Ukhoza kukuwa, kukuwa, kukwiya, kumenya nkhonya (tili ndi magulovu ankhonya ndi nkhonya), sonyeza mkwiyo wanu mwanjira iriyonse, koma musamenye mlongo wanu.” Atsikana amaphunzira kusankha pakati pa kufotokoza zakukhosi ndi kuchita. Kulekanitsa malingaliro ndi zochita zimakulolani kuti mutenge nthawi kuti muzindikire zomwe mukumva komanso zolimbikitsa kuchitapo kanthu. Ndipo m'tsogolomu - kuzindikira chikhumbo chawo chomanga ubale wina ndi mzake, momveka bwino, momveka bwino. "Sindisamala kukupatsani chinthu changa. Ndikukupemphani kuti musatenge zinthu zanga popanda chilolezo mtsogolomu, "atero Katya kwa mlongo wake. Zikatero, atsikana alibe choletsa pakuwonetsa mkwiyo, palibe cholowa m'malo mwa malingaliro olakwika. Akuyang'ana, kuyesa ndi kupeza njira zatsopano zogwirizanirana ndi kufotokoza zakukhosi popanda kumenyedwa.
Zomverera za racket, komanso zowona, zimatha kuwonetsedwa nthawi yomweyo - "pano ndi pano", kapena zitha kudziunjikira kuti zigwiritsidwe ntchito mtsogolo. Pali mawu - dontho lomaliza mu chikho cha chipiriro, chomwe chimakulolani kugubuduza chikho chonse pa wolakwayo. Kugwetsa ndi dontho la racket kumva kumatchedwa kusonkhanitsa sitampu. Momwe ana amatolera masitampu, makuponi, zilembo, corks, kuti adzalandire mphotho pambuyo pake. Kapena amasonkhanitsa ndalama mu banki ya nkhumba kuti adzipangire okha mphatso, kugula kolandiridwa. Chifukwa chake, timayimitsa pambuyo pake, timadziunjikira malingaliro achinyengo. Zachiyani? Kenako kulandira malipiro kapena chilango.
Mwachitsanzo, mwamuna amalekerera mkazi wake amene akufunafuna ntchito mwakhama. Malingaliro ake enieni akuwopa kusungulumwa, kusiyidwa, m’malo mwa kuipidwa mwachipongwe. Sasonyeza poyera maganizo ake enieni. Sauza mkazi wake zoona:
«Wokondedwa, ndikuwopa kuti ndikutayani. Inu ndinu kuwala pawindo kwa ine, tanthauzo la moyo wanga, chisangalalo ndi bata. N'zosakayikitsa kuti mkazi pambuyo pa mawu otere sadzakhalabe opanda chidwi ndipo adzachita zonse kuti akhale pafupi ndi mwamuna uyu. Komabe, zoona zake n’zakuti mwamunayo amangosonyeza kuti alibe nazo ntchito ndipo amadana ndi kubwezera. Pamene "chikho cha chipiriro" chikusefukira, amafotokoza zonse za madandaulo ake. Mkazi amachoka. Iye amakhala yekha. Malipiro ake ndi kusungulumwa komwe ankawopa kwambiri.
Kuponi, kapena sitampu, ndi malingaliro a racket omwe munthu amasonkhanitsa ndi cholinga chosinthana ndi kubweza kolakwika. Onani →
Kodi muli ndi banki ya nkhumba? Ngati ilipo, yerekezani kuti mukuimenya ndi nyundo yaikulu ndikuiphwanya kwa omenya. Kapena kumira m'nyanja ya buluu, kumangiriza mwala wabwino ku "kiti" kapena "nkhumba" yomwe mumakonda.
Siyani kulemera kwa malingaliro omwe anasonkhanitsa. Atsanzike kwa iwo. Fuulani mokweza kuti "Chabwino!".
Gawo lotsatira la ntchito yochizira ndikuphunzitsa wofuna chithandizo kufotokoza zakukhosi kwake popanda kuwunjikana. Kuti tichite izi, timagwiritsa ntchito njira zama psychotherapy zamakhalidwe potengera kukulitsa ndi kuphatikizira maluso atsopano amakhalidwe. Panthawi imeneyi, timapatsa makasitomala homuweki mwachangu. Ntchitoyi ndikusintha zomwe kasitomala akumana nazo mumagulu ake ang'onoang'ono ndi ma macrosociety. Amaphunzira kumanga maubwenzi atsopano ndipo nthawi yomweyo amasanthula malingaliro ake, zochita zake ndi malingaliro ake omwe amabwera mu izi. Amamanga njira yatsopano yosinthira sitiroko ndikudzipatsa mphoto chifukwa chakuchita bwino. Onani →
Chifukwa chake, racket ndi dongosolo la machitidwe omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito kunja kwa chidziwitso, ngati njira yodziwira kumverera kwa racket. Racket ndi njira yomwe cholinga chake ndikupeza zikwapu kuti mumve za racket. Timasokoneza mosazindikira malingaliro a zenizeni zomwe zimatizungulira, kunyalanyaza zosowa zathu, kusewera masewera amisala ndikulandila zikwapu zabodza. Onani →