Mndandanda wazomwe akuyembekezera kwa iwo eni komanso dziko lapansi ndi waukulu. Koma chachikulu ndichakuti zimasemphana kwambiri ndi zenizeni ndipo zimawalepheretsa kukhala ndi moyo komanso kusangalala tsiku lililonse pantchito, polankhulana ndi okondedwa komanso okha okha. Katswiri wa Gestalt Elena Pavlyuchenko akulingalira za momwe angapezere kulinganizika kwabwino pakati pa kufuna kuchita zinthu mwangwiro ndi chisangalalo cha kukhala.
Mowonjezereka, anthu omwe sakhutira ndi iwo eni ndi zochitika za moyo wawo amabwera kudzandiwona, kukhumudwa ndi omwe ali pafupi. Monga ngati chilichonse chozungulira sichili bwino kuti iwo asangalale nazo kapena kuthokoza. Ndikuwona madandaulo awa ngati zizindikiro zomveka bwino za kupitilira muyeso. Tsoka ilo, khalidweli lakhala chizindikiro cha nthawi yathu.
Ubwino wa ungwiro umayamikiridwa pakati pa anthu chifukwa umatsogolera munthu ku kukwaniritsa zolinga zabwino. Koma kufuna kuchita zinthu mwangwiro mopitirira muyeso kumawononga kwambiri mwini wake. Kupatula apo, munthu woteroyo amakhala ndi malingaliro amphamvu a momwe ayenera kukhalira, zotsatira za ntchito zake ndi anthu omwe amamuzungulira. Ali ndi mndandanda wautali wa ziyembekezo za iye mwini ndi dziko lapansi, zomwe zimatsutsana kwambiri ndi zenizeni.
Katswiri wotsogolera wa Gestalt wa ku Russia Nifont Dolgopolov amasiyanitsa njira ziwiri zazikulu za moyo: "mawonekedwe akukhala" ndi "njira yopindula", kapena chitukuko. Tonse timawafuna kuti tikhale ndi thanzi labwino. Wokonda kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa chilichonse amakhalapo munjira yopambana.
Ndithudi, maganizo ameneŵa amapangidwa ndi makolo. Kodi izi zimachitika bwanji? Tangolingalirani mwana amene amapanga keke yamchenga n’kuipereka kwa amayi ake kuti: “Taonani chitumbuwa chimene ndapanga!”
Mama munjira yakukhala: "O, ndi chitumbuwa chabwino bwanji, chomwe mwandisamalira bwino, zikomo!"
Onse ali okondwa ndi zomwe ali nazo. Mwina keke ndi «wangwiro», koma safuna kusintha. Ichi ndi chisangalalo cha zomwe zinachitika, kuchokera kukhudzana, kuchokera ku moyo tsopano.
Mama mukuchita bwino/chitukuko: “O, zikomo, bwanji sunaikongoletsa ndi zipatso? Ndipo onani, Masha ali ndi chitumbuwa chochulukirapo. Zanu sizoyipa, koma zitha kukhala zabwinoko.
Ndi makolo amtundu uwu, chirichonse chikhoza kukhala bwino nthawi zonse - ndipo kujambula kumakhala kokongola kwambiri, ndipo zotsatira zake ndi zapamwamba. Sakhala akukwanira ndi zomwe ali nazo. Nthaŵi zonse amalingalira china chimene chingawongoleredwe, ndipo zimenezi zimasonkhezera mwanayo ku mpikisano wosatha wa zipambano, m’njira, kuwaphunzitsa kusakhutira ndi zimene ali nazo.
Mphamvu sizili monyanyira, koma mulingo
Ubale wa pathological perfectionism ndi kupsinjika maganizo, zovuta zokakamiza, nkhawa zazikulu zatsimikiziridwa, ndipo izi ndi zachilengedwe. Kukangana kosalekeza poyesa kupeza ungwiro, kukana kuzindikira malire awo ndi umunthu mosapeŵeka kumabweretsa kutopa kwamalingaliro ndi thupi.
Inde, ku mbali imodzi, ungwiro umagwirizanitsidwa ndi lingaliro lachitukuko, ndipo izi ndi zabwino. Koma kukhala m’njira imodzi yokha kuli ngati kulumpha ndi mwendo umodzi. N’zotheka, koma osati kwa nthawi yaitali. Pokhapokha posintha masitepe ndi mapazi onse awiri, timatha kukhalabe okhazikika ndikuyenda momasuka.
Kuti mukhale osamala, zingakhale bwino kuti muzitha kugwira ntchito molimbika, yesetsani kuchita zonse momwe mungathere, kenako nkukhala modekha, kunena kuti: "Wow, ndachita! Zabwino!» Ndipo dzipatseni nthawi yopuma ndikusangalala ndi zipatso za manja anu. Ndiyeno chitaninso chinachake, poganizira zimene munakumana nazo komanso zolakwa zanu zakale. Ndipo pezaninso nthawi yosangalala ndi zomwe mwachita. Maonekedwe akukhala amatipatsa lingaliro laufulu ndi kukhutira, mwayi wokumana tokha ndi ena.
Wofuna kuchita zinthu mwangwiro alibe kachitidwe kachitidwe ka zinthu: “Kodi ndingawongole bwanji ngati ndilekerera zolakwa zanga? Uku ndikuyimilira, kubwereranso. ” Munthu amene nthawi zonse amadzicheka yekha ndi ena chifukwa cha zolakwa zomwe adachita samamvetsetsa kuti nyonga siili mopambanitsa, koma pamlingo woyenera.
Kufikira nthawi inayake, chikhumbo chofuna kukulitsa ndi kukwaniritsa zotsatira zimatithandiza kusuntha. Koma ngati mukumva kutopa, danani ndi ena komanso inu nokha, ndiye kuti mwaphonya nthawi yayitali yosinthira mitundu.
Chokani ku mapeto akufa
Zitha kukhala zovuta kuyesa kuthana ndi malingaliro anu angwiro nokha, chifukwa chilakolako cha ungwiro chimatsogolera ku mapeto a imfa panonso. Ofuna kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa kalikonse amakhala achangu kwambiri poyesa kutsatira malingaliro onse omwe akuperekedwa kotero kuti sangakhutitsidwe ndi iwo eni komanso kuti sakanatha kuwakwaniritsa mwangwiro.
Ngati mutati kwa munthu woteroyo: yesetsani kukondwera ndi zomwe ziri, kuti muwone mbali zabwino, ndiye kuti ayamba "kupanga fano" kuchokera kumaganizo abwino. Adzaona kuti alibe ufulu wokhumudwa kapena kukhumudwa kwa mphindi imodzi. Ndipo popeza izi sizingatheke, adzadzikwiyira kwambiri.
Ndipo chifukwa chake, njira yabwino kwambiri yopulumutsira anthu ochita zinthu mwangwiro ndiyo kugwira ntchito yolumikizana ndi psychotherapist yemwe, mobwerezabwereza, amawathandiza kuwona ndondomekoyi - popanda kutsutsidwa, kumvetsetsa ndi chifundo. Ndipo zimathandiza kuti pang'onopang'ono adziwe momwe amakhalira ndikupeza bwino.
Koma pali, mwina, malingaliro angapo omwe ndingapereke.
Phunzirani kudzinenera nokha «zokwanira», «zokwanira». Awa ndi mawu amatsenga. Yesani kuzigwiritsa ntchito m'moyo wanu: "Ndinachita zomwe ndingathe lero, ndayesetsa mokwanira." Mdierekezi akubisala kupitiriza kwa mawu awa: "Koma mukadayesetsa kwambiri!" Izi sizofunikira nthawi zonse komanso sizikhala zenizeni nthawi zonse.
Musaiwale kusangalala nokha ndi tsiku limene amakhala. Ngakhale mutakhala kuti mukufunika kudziwongolera nokha komanso zochita zanu, musaiwale nthawi ina kuti mutseke mutuwu mpaka mawa, pita kukakhala ndikusangalala ndi chisangalalo chomwe moyo umakupatsani lero.