"Nthawi zina umayenera kuvomereza kugonja kuti upite patsogolo"

Ndinkagwira ntchito m’ndale ndipo ndinkadziwana ndi Lord Montag, yemwe anali membala wa Nyumba ya Malamulo ya ku Britain. Nthawi zambiri ndimakumbukira mawu ake omwe amawakonda. “Anthu akhoza kusintha,” iye anatero ndi kunyezimira mochenjera m’maso mwake, ndipo atatha kupuma anawonjezera kuti: “Zisanu peresenti ndi mphindi zisanu.”

Lingaliro ili, ndithudi, losuliza - linkamveka mwachibadwa kuchokera pamilomo ya munthu yemwe m'malo ake kunamizira kunali mu dongosolo la zinthu. Koma nditaganiza zokhala sing’anga n’kuyamba kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, ndinaganizira mawu amenewa kangapo. Bwanji ngati iye akulondola? Kodi ndife onyenga za kusinthasintha kwathu?

Chondichitikira changa ndi: ayi. Ndimakumbukira ndili mwana. Ndinkakonda kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo komanso khalidwe lotayirira, ndipo ndinali nditavutika maganizo kwa nthawi yaitali. Tsopano moyo wanga wasintha. Monga peresenti, ndi 75% pazaka zisanu zapitazi.

Ndikuwona kusintha kwa odwala. Zitha kuwoneka mkati mwa sabata, kapena zitha kutenga zaka. Nthawi zina kupita patsogolo kumatha kuwoneka mu gawo loyamba, ndipo izi ndizopambana. Koma nthawi zambiri njirazi zimapita pang'onopang'ono. Ndi iko komwe, tikuyesera kuthamanga pamene zolemera zolemera zalendewera kumapazi athu. Tilibe chocheka kapena kiyi wa maunyolo, ndipo nthawi ndi khama lokha ndi zomwe zingatithandize kuzitaya. Zaka zisanu zomwe ndinatha kulingaliranso za moyo wanga ndi zotsatira za zaka zisanu zapitazo za ntchito yolimbika pa ine ndekha.

Koma nthawi zina kusintha sikumabwera. Ndikalephera kupita patsogolo ndi kasitomala, ndimadzifunsa mafunso chikwi. Ndalephera? Kodi ndiyenera kumuuza zoona? Mwina sindinapangire ntchito imeneyi? Nthawi zina mumafuna kukonza zenizeni pang'ono, pangani chithunzicho kukhala chabwino: chabwino, tsopano akuwona chomwe chiri vuto ndi komwe angapitirire. Mwina adzabweranso ku chithandizo pambuyo pake.

Koma kukhala ndi moyo m’choonadi kuli bwino nthaŵi zonse. Ndipo izi zikutanthauza kuvomereza kuti simungadziwe nthawi zonse ngati chithandizo chidzagwira ntchito. Ndipo simungathe kudziwa chifukwa chake sizinagwire ntchito. Ndipo zolakwa ziyenera kuzindikirika, ngakhale ndizowopsa, ndipo musayese kuchepetsa mothandizidwa ndi kulingalira.

Mawu anzeru kwambiri omwe ndidawawerengapo adachokera kwa katswiri wamaganizo a Donald Winnicott. Tsiku lina mkazi wina anabwera kwa iye kuti amuthandize. Iye analemba kuti mwana wake wamng’ono wamwalira, anali wothedwa nzeru ndipo sankadziwa choti achite. Anamulemberanso kalata yake yaifupi yolemba pamanja kuti: “Pepani, koma palibe chimene ndingachite kuti ndimuthandize. Ndi zomvetsa chisoni.”

Sindikudziwa momwe adazitengera, koma ndimakonda kuganiza kuti adamva bwino. Nthawi zina munthu amafunika kutikumbutsa za choonadi: pali zinthu zomwe sitingathe kuzikonza. Chithandizo chabwino chimakupatsani mwayi wopanga kusintha. Koma imaperekanso malo otetezeka momwe tingavomereze kugonjetsedwa. Izi zikugwira ntchito kwa onse ofuna chithandizo komanso othandizira.

Lingaliro limeneli lalongosoledwa bwino kwambiri m’programu ya masitepe 12, ngakhale kuti iwo anaitenga kuchokera ku “pemphero la mtendere wa maganizo” lodziŵika bwino (aliyense amene analemba): “Ambuye, ndipatseni mtendere kuti ndivomereze zimene sindingathe kuzisintha, ndipatseni ine. kulimba mtima kusintha zimene ndingathe kusintha, ndi kundipatsa nzeru kusiyanitsa wina ndi mzake.

Mwinamwake Lord Montag wokalamba wanzeru, yemwe anamwalira ndi kugwidwa kwa mtima, anali kulankhula mawu ake kwa iwo amene sanazindikire kusiyana kumeneku. Koma ndikuganiza kuti anali wolondola. Sindikufuna kusiyana ndi lingaliro lakuti kusintha ndi kotheka. Mwina osati 95%, koma tikadali okhoza kusintha kwakukulu komanso kosatha. Koma tikangomvetsetsa kuti kusintha sikungatheke, tiyenera kusintha ntchito ina - kuvomereza.