Ngati tikufuna kuti zinthu zitiyendere bwino, tifunika kuzindikiridwa, kutanthauza kuti mwanjira ina tiyenera kukhala osiyana ndi anzathu. Makamaka popanda tsankho pazokonda zawo. Wolemba nkhani za Psychology Olivier Bourkeman akufotokoza momwe angakwaniritsire zovuta ziwirizi.
Aphunzitsi amalonda amanena kuti n'zovuta kuwerengera kukula kwa akatswiri ngati simukuyimira gulu. Koma kodi tingadziwike m’njira zotani ndiponso pamtengo wotani? Nazi zina zam'maganizo zomwe muyenera kuziganizira.
Goal
Chinthu choyamba kukumbukira ndi chakuti kupeza chidwi sikovuta monga momwe kungawonekere.
Chinthu chachiwiri chofunika n’chakuti njira zoonekeratu nthawi zina zimakhala zosathandiza kwambiri. Mwanjira ina, simuyenera kuthamangira khofi kwa abwana anu, zidzawoneka ngati toady (pokhapokha, kubweretsa khofi sikuphatikizidwa ndi ntchito zanu zovomerezeka). Kamvekedwe kabwino kwa omwe ali pansi pamisonkhano sikudzawonjezera ku ulamuliro wanu, koma kumapanga mbiri yonyansa. Yesetsani kukhala wothandiza. Nthawi zonse kumbukirani kuti ena amawona bwino pamene tikungofuna kukhala otchuka komanso pamene tili ndi mphamvu.
Chiphunzitso
Zochita zowoneka bwino sizichita zochepa. Mudzapindula zambiri poyang'ana masitepe ang'onoang'ono ku cholinga chanu. Ndiwofunika kwambiri kotero kuti mphunzitsi wodziwika bwino wamabizinesi Jeff Olson adapereka buku kwa iwo.1. Zosafunikira, poyang'ana koyamba, malamulo omwe mumatsatira pamapeto pake adzabala zipatso ndikukusiyanitsani ndi khamulo.
Osayesa kulosera zomwe abwana akufuna. Mabwana ambiri amasangalala mukangofunsa zomwe ziyenera kuchitidwa poyamba.
Khalani, mwachitsanzo, wantchito amene amamaliza ntchito nthawi yake (Iyi ndi njira yothandiza kwambiri kuposa nthawi zina kuchita chilichonse mwachangu kwambiri, komanso nthawi zina kuswa nthawi yomaliza - chifukwa munthu wotero sangadaliridwe). Khalani wantchito yemwe amabwera ndi lingaliro lothandiza pamisonkhano iliyonse.
Dzifunseni kuti ndi ndondomeko yanji kapena pulojekiti yomwe ikupangitsa abwana anu kupwetekedwa mutu, ndikukhala omwe amamuchepetsera nkhawa. Langizo lodziwika bwino lakuti "Ingogwirani ntchito molimbika kuposa ena" lidzangoyambitsa kutopa, zomwe palibe amene angakupatseni mphoto.
Nazi zomwe mungayesere
1. Khalani omasuka kudzikweza. Sizodzitamandira ayi, koma zimapanga zinthu zonyansa. Koma n’cifukwa ciani tiyenela kucita zinthu monyanyila? Kalata yaifupi yopita kwa abwana ndi uthenga wokhudza zomwe zachitidwa sikudzitamandira, koma kungodziwitsa za momwe zinthu zikuyendera. Ndi chitsimikizo chakuti zoyesayesa zanu zidzazindikiridwa.
2. Kumbukirani zotsatira za Benjamin Franklin: “Iye amene anakuchitirani zabwino poyamba adzakuthandizaninso mofunitsitsa kuposa amene munamuthandiza. Chodabwitsa n’chakuti, n’kosavuta kukopa anthu powapempha kuti awachitire zabwino kusiyana ndi kuwachitira zabwino. Chinsinsi chake n’chakuti tikathandiza munthu, timafuna kuganiza kuti munthuyo ndi woyenera kumuthandiza, ndipo mosadziwa timayamba kumukonda.
3. Ingofunsani. Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti pofuna kuyamikiridwa, ayenera kudziwa zomwe bwana akufuna. Ndi chinyengo. Mabwana ambiri angasangalale mukangofunsa zomwe zikuyenera kuchitika tsopano. Ndipo mudzapulumutsa mphamvu zambiri.
1 J. Olson "Kumapeto Kwapang'ono: Kutembenuza Zilango Zosavuta Kukhala Zopambana ndi Chimwemwe" (GreenLeaf, 2005).