Zamkatimu
Kudziyerekezera ndi ena, kudzipenda zimene mwakwaniritsa ndi diso la zimene ena akwaniritsa, ndiyo njira yotsimikizirika yowonongera moyo wanu. Psychotherapist Sharon Martin pa momwe angachotsere chizolowezi choyipa ichi.
Kuyerekezerako nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosasangalatsa. Pamene ndinali kusekondale, mlongo wanga wamkulu anali kuchita maseŵera ndipo anali otchuka—onse amene sananenepo ponena za ine.
Tsopano ndikumvetsetsa kuti ndinalinso ndi zabwino zambiri, koma sakanatha kundibwezera chifukwa chakusakondedwa kwanga komanso kusakonda masewera. Nthaŵi zonse pamene wina anatiyerekezera, ndinakumbutsidwa zolakwa zanga m’mbali ziŵirizi. Kuyerekezera kumeneku sikunakhudze mphamvu zanga mwanjira iriyonse, koma kunangogogomezera zofooka zanga.
Timakula m'dera limene kuli chizolowezi kufanizitsa aliyense ndi chirichonse, kotero timaphunzira kuti ife tokha "sitili abwino monga ...". Timafananiza kuti tiwone ngati tili abwino kapena oyipa. Zonsezi zimalimbitsa mantha athu ndi kudzikayikira.
Nthawi zonse padzakhala munthu wochepa thupi kuposa ife, wosangalala m'banja, wopambana. Timafunafuna anthu oterowo mosazindikira ndipo, mwa chitsanzo chawo, timadzitsimikizira tokha kuti ndife oyipa kuposa ena onse. Kuyerekeza kumangotsimikizira za "kutsika".
Kodi zimapanga kusiyana kotani zomwe ena ali nazo ndi zomwe amachita?
Nanga bwanji ngati mnansiyo angakwanitse kusintha galimoto chaka chilichonse ndipo m’baleyo wangomukweza? Zilibe chochita ndi inu. Kupambana kapena kulephera kwa anthuwa sikutanthauza kuti ndinu otsika kapena apamwamba kuposa iwo.
Aliyense ndi munthu wapadera wokhala ndi mphamvu ndi zofooka zake. Nthawi zina timakhala ngati pali malire a «mtengo waumunthu» padziko lapansi komanso osakwanira aliyense. Kumbukirani kuti aliyense wa ife ndi wofunika.
Nthawi zambiri timadziyerekezera ndi ena pazifukwa zomwe sizofunika kwambiri. Timangodalira zizindikiro zakunja: maonekedwe, zopindula zokhazikika ndi zofunikira zakuthupi.
Ndizovuta kwambiri kuyerekeza zomwe zili zofunika kwambiri: kukoma mtima, kuwolowa manja, kupirira, kutha kuvomereza osati kuweruza, kuwona mtima, ulemu.
Kodi kuchotsa kusasangalala? Nawa malingaliro ena.
1. Kudzifananiza kumabisa kudzikayikira
Kwa ine, njira yosavuta ndiyo kudzikumbutsa za kusatsimikizika komwe kumayambitsa chikhumbo chofanizira. Ndimadziuza kuti, “Iwe umadziona ngati wosatetezeka. Mumadziyesa nokha poyerekezera «mtengo» wanu ndi wina. Mumadziweruza nokha ndi njira zopanda pake ndipo pamapeto pake mumafika poganiza kuti simuli bwino. Izi ndi zolakwika komanso zopanda chilungamo. ”
Zimandithandiza kuzindikira zomwe ndikuchita komanso chifukwa chake. Kusintha nthawi zonse kumayamba ndi kuzindikira. Tsopano nditha kusintha kaganizidwe kanga ndikuyamba kulankhula ndekha mosiyana, m'malo moweruza, kupereka chifundo ndi chithandizo ku gawo lopanda chitetezo la ine ndekha.
2. Ngati mukufuna kufananiza, yerekezerani ndi inu nokha.
M'malo modziyerekeza ndi mnzanu kapena mphunzitsi wa yoga, yesani kudziyesa nokha mwezi umodzi kapena chaka chapitacho. Tidazolowera kufunafuna umboni woti ndife ofunika kudziko lakunja, koma kwenikweni ndikofunikira kudziyang'ana tokha.
Aliyense pa intaneti akuwoneka wokondwa. Dzikumbutseni kuti ichi ndi chigoba chakunja chonyezimira, gawo la moyo wa anthuwa lomwe amafuna kudziwonetsera kwa ena. Mwachidziwikire, pali mavuto ambiri m'miyoyo yawo kuposa momwe munthu angaganizire poyang'ana zithunzi zawo pa Facebook (bungwe lochita zinthu monyanyira loletsedwa ku Russia) kapena Instagram (bungwe lochita zinthu monyanyira loletsedwa ku Russia).
Kuti tileke kudziyerekezera ndi ena, tiyenera kuganizira kwambiri za ifeyo. Kufananiza sikungatithandize kuthana ndi kusatetezeka - iyi ndi njira yolakwika komanso yankhanza "yoyesa kufunikira kwanu." Kufunika kwathu sikudalira zimene ena amachita kapena zimene ali nazo.
Za wolemba: Sharon Martin ndi psychotherapist.