Tsopano ndili ndi zaka 46, ndili ndi mnyamata wamkulu wazaka 29, zomwe zikusonyeza kuti ndinali ndi mwana wanga wamwamuna ndili ndi zaka 17. Ndidakhala ndi pakati chifukwa chokhala pachibwenzi chopitilira chaka chimodzi ndi chibwenzi changa. Ndinkachita mantha chifukwa sindinkamvetsa zimene zinkachitika m’thupi mwanga komanso sindinkaona chipwirikiti chomwe chinali kuchitika pa nthawiyo.
Nthawi yomweyo makolo anga anagwirizana ndi dokotala wachikazi n'cholinga choti achotse mimba. Tsogolo linkafuna kuti "ndigwe" pa dokotala "wosamala kwambiri" yemwe, mwamseri, adandifotokozera zoopsa zomwe ndimayendetsa (makamaka chiwopsezo cha kusabereka). Kutsatira kuyankhulana kumeneku, ndinayimirira kwa makolo anga ndikuwakakamiza kuti ndisunge mwanayo.
Mwana wanga ndiye kunyada kwanga, ndewu ya moyo wanga komanso mwana wokhazikika, wokonda kucheza… Mosonkhezeredwa ndi liwongo lalikulu (limene amayi anga anathandizira kwambiri kulisamalira), ndinasiya sukulu mwamsanga pambuyo pa chilengezo cha mkhalidwe wanga. Tinali “okakamizika” kukwatira. Chotero ndinadzipeza ndekha kukhala mkazi wapakhomo, wokhala m’mudzi, ndi nyumba yanga ndi maulendo atsiku ndi tsiku amene ndinkapanga kwa makolo anga kaamba ka ntchito zokha.
“Sindinasiyepo mwana wanga”
Lingaliro lachisudzulo linadza kwa ine mwamsanga, ndi chikhumbo chofuna kupeza ntchito. Ndinaphunzira kwambiri, mwinanso kuiwala kuti sindinali ndi udindo wolera ndekha mwana wanga, monga momwe amayi anandifotokozera kwa zaka zambiri. Koma sindinasiye mwana wanga mpaka pano: chisamaliro cha tsiku ndi tsiku chinali iye, koma maphunziro ake anali ine. Ndidasamaliranso zosowa zake, zomwe amakonda, kupita kwa dokotala, tchuthi, kusukulu ...
Ngakhale zinali choncho, ndimakhulupirira kuti mwana wanga anali ndi ubwana wosangalala, womukonda kwambiri, ngakhale kuti nthawi zina ndikanakomoka. Anali ndi unyamata wodekha ndipo anali ndi maphunziro olemekezeka: bac S, koleji ndipo tsopano ndi physiotherapist. Ndili ndi ubale wabwino kwambiri ndi iye lero.
Koma ine ndinali ndi vuto lalikulu lopeza bwino. Pambuyo pa zaka zambiri za psychoanalysis, tsopano ndine mkazi wokwaniritsidwa, womaliza maphunziro (DESS), gawo la ntchito zapagulu, koma pamtengo wolimbikira komanso kukhumudwa kosalephera.
Ndikayang’ana m’mbuyo, chisoni changa sichili chokhudza kusankha chimene ndinapanga kukhala ndi mwana ndili ndi zaka 17. Ayi, lerolino ndimakumbukira zowawa za ukwati wanga ndiponso ubwenzi umene ndinali nawo panthaŵiyo ndi amayi anga. Kutsitsidwa kumene ndinalimo ndi vuto limene ndinali nalo kuti nditulukemo, zinandipatsa mphamvu zokhalira moyo zomwe mwina sindikanatha kukhala nazo.
Kodi makolo ali kuti m'mbiri?
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