Zofuna zolankhulana sizimangonena za zochitika za tsikulo. Ndikofunikira kwambiri kukambirana moona mtima zakukhosi ndi zokumana nazo ndi wokondedwa wanu. Koma pofuna kupewa mikangano, okondana nthawi zambiri amakhala osaona mtima. Momwe mungapangire kulumikizana kotheratu komanso chifukwa chiyani zokambirana zazikulu ndizabwino maubwenzi?
Funso lakuti "Muli bwanji?" ndipo yankho «Chabwino» ndi chabe kuwombola pleasantries, sitikulankhula za maganizo enieni.
Tsoka ilo, chizolowezi cholankhulana mwachiphamaso nthawi zambiri chimawonekera mu ubale wamunthu. Mnzathu akafunsa kuti, “Chachitika n’chiyani?”, nthawi zambiri timafuna kuyankha kuti: “Palibe chilichonse.” Ngati zonse zili bwino, yankho lotere ndiloyenera, koma ngati mukunena izi kuti mupewe kukambirana, ndiye kuti zinthu sizikuyenda bwino muubwenzi.
Ngati okondedwa samakonda kulankhulana moona mtima komanso momasuka, ndipo kukambirana kotereku kumachitika panthawi yamavuto, kukambirana kulikonse kozama komanso kozama kumatha kuwawopseza. Ngati akhala ndi chizolowezi chouzana maganizo ndi mmene akumvera nthaŵi zonse, zimenezi sizidzangolimbitsa unansiwo, komanso kuwaphunzitsa mmene angachitire bwino ndi mavuto alionse ovuta amene angabuke.
Koma kodi tingakhazikitse bwanji mkhalidwe wokhulupirirana m’maubwenzi umene umatilola kulankhula momasuka za zimene zili m’maganizo mwathu, kudzudzula momangirira ndi kutenga chidzudzulo modekha? Izi ziyenera kuphunziridwa - makamaka kuyambira pachiyambi cha chiyanjano. Kuona mtima polankhulana kumafuna kuti onse azitha kudzipenda mozama. Aliyense ayenera kudziwa zowawa zawo, mantha ndi zofooka zake.
Luso loyankhulirana lofunika kwambiri ndi kumvetsera.
Kodi «zoletsedwa» zokambirana zingapweteke? Aliyense ali ndi "mitu yowawa" yake. Nthawi zambiri amakhudzana ndi maonekedwe, maphunziro, banja, chipembedzo, udindo wachuma kapena ndale. Ngakhale ndemanga yabwino kwambiri pa imodzi mwa mitu imeneyi imatha kupangitsa kuti anthu ayambe kulankhula mwaukali komanso kusokoneza kulankhulana moona mtima komanso momasuka.
Nthawi zina zinsinsi ndikuyesera kuzisunga mobisa zimakhala bomba lomwe lingawononge ubale ndi ife eni. Ngati abwenzi ali ndi «mafupa mu chipinda», kukambirana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo kungathandize kukhazikitsa kulankhulana.
Luso lofunika kwambiri lolankhulana ndi kumvetsera. Ngati okondedwawo adukizana wina ndi mnzake, atatopa kwambiri kapena okhumudwa kuti asamangoganizira za zokambiranazo, munthu sangayembekezere chifundo ndi kumasuka kwa iwo. Zimathandiza kukhala ndi chizolowezi chokambirana panthaŵi inayake: pambuyo pa chakudya chamadzulo ndi kapu ya tiyi kapena kapu ya vinyo, kapena ola limodzi musanagone, kapena poyenda masana.
Othandizana nawo ayenera kuganizira zolimbikitsa zawo. Mukufuna kupambana mkangano kapena kuyandikirana wina ndi mnzake? Ngati wina akufuna kuvulaza wina, kutsimikizira chinachake, kudzudzula, kubwezera kapena kudziyika yekha m'malo abwino, izi sizolankhulana, koma narcissism.
Kukambitsirana maganizo kwachibadwa sikuyambitsa mkangano. Phindu la makambitsirano olingalira nthaŵi zonse nlakuti amasonyeza kuti kusemphana maganizo n’kwachibadwa ndiponso n’kothandiza. Aliyense wa ife ndi munthu wokhala ndi malingaliro athu komanso malire ake. Ndi bwino kusagwirizana wina ndi mzake. Kusemphana maganizo kwabwino kumakhala kopindulitsa kwambiri pa maubwenzi kusiyana ndi kungovomereza mawu aliwonse a mnzanuyo.
Koma kumasuka ndi kulolerana n’kofunika pano. Othandizana nawo akuyenera kukhala okonzeka kumvera ndi kumva malingaliro a wina ndi mzake. N’kothandiza kudziika m’malo a munthu winayo ndi kuyesa kuyang’ana mkhalidwewo monga momwe iwo akuuonera.
Mabanja ambiri amakhala okonzeka kukamba nkhani zazikulu panthawi yamavuto. Yesani kukambirana maloto nthawi ndi nthawi, gawanani malingaliro apano ndi amtsogolo. Mutha kuyamba ndi mawu akuti "Ndakhala ndikufuna ...", kenako kukambirana kungayambitse zinthu zodabwitsa.
Kulankhulana kwabwino kumafuna khama kuchokera kwa onse awiri, aliyense ayenera kukhala wokonzeka kuchitapo kanthu ndi kutenga udindo. Uphungu wamaganizo ungathandize maanja omwe amafuna chitonthozo ndi chitetezo mu ubale wawo ndipo amafuna kuthandizana kukula ndikukula.