"Vest for misozi": momwe mungathandizire wachinyamata kuti asalowe m'mavuto a anthu ena

Matenda amisala "akukula" tsiku lililonse. Malinga ndi kafukufuku waposachedwapa, nkhani za kusungulumwa kosatha, kuvutika maganizo, nkhawa ndi kudzipha zafala kwambiri pakati pa achinyamata. Chosangalatsa n’chakuti achinyamata ambiri amakambirana momasuka mavuto a m’maganizo ndi m’makhalidwe.

Komabe, ambiri amazengereza kupeza uphungu wa akatswiri chifukwa cha tsankho, manyazi, komanso kuvutikira kupeza dokotala.

Anyamata ndi atsikana amaona kuti anzawo ndi amene amawathandiza kwambiri. Kwa achinyamata ndi achinyamata, izi ndizomveka komanso zachilengedwe: ndani, ngati si bwenzi, angapereke uphungu ndi chithandizo cha makhalidwe abwino? Kupatula apo, samauza aliyense za vutoli: mumafunikira munthu womvera, womvera, womvera komanso wodalirika. Ndipo kupatsidwa zopinga zomwe zimalepheretsa kupeza akatswiri a zamaganizo, n'zosadabwitsa kuti udindo wa opulumutsa nthawi zambiri umasewera ndi anzawo.

Koma apa pali: kukhala chithandizo chokha cha bwenzi sikophweka. Ndi chinthu chimodzi kukuthandizani kuthana ndi zovuta zanthawi yochepa - kupuma movutikira, gawo lotopetsa, mavuto am'banja. Koma ponena za matenda aakulu a maganizo amene sangathe kuwathetsa mwa iye yekha, mpulumutsiyo amadziona kuti alibe chochita ndipo amasunga bwenzi lake limozi ndi mphamvu zake zomalizira. Kumusiyanso si njira.

Kunena zoona, achinyamata amalowa m’mikhalidwe yotero mwakufuna kwawo. Iwo amamva ululu wa ena moti nthawi yomweyo amanyamula zizindikiro za kuvutika maganizo ndipo amakhala oyamba kuthamangira kukapulumutsa. Makhalidwe aumwini amene amapulumutsa ena amawatsutsa ndi kuwalepheretsa kuika malire. Amasanduka zovala zong'ambika.

Zimakhala bwanji kukhala "chovala cha misozi"

Tikamathandiza ena, timadzipezera tokha phindu losakhala lakuthupi, koma chithandizo choterocho chimakhalanso ndi zoopsa zina. Makolo ndi achinyamata ayenera kumvetsetsa zomwe zidzawayembekezere.

Pindulani

• Kuthandiza ena kumakupangitsani kukhala bwino. Bwenzi lenileni ndi udindo wapamwamba komanso wolemekezeka umene umanena za khalidwe lathu komanso kudalirika kwathu. Izi zimakulitsa kudzidalira.
• Mukamathandiza mnzanu, mumaphunzira chifundo. Amene amadziwa kupereka, osati kungotenga, amatha kumvetsera, kumvetsa, kulemekeza ndi chifundo.
• Kumvetsera ululu wa wina, mumayamba kutenga mavuto a maganizo kwambiri. Pothandiza ena, sitimangoyesera kumvetsetsa mkhalidwe wawo, komanso kudzidziwa tokha. Zotsatira zake, kuzindikira kwa anthu kumawonjezeka, ndipo pambuyo pake - kukhazikika kwamaganizo.
• Kulankhula ndi bwenzi kungapulumutsedi. Nthawi zina kukambirana ndi mnzanu m'malo mwa malangizo a katswiri. Choncho, mabungwe ena omwe amalimbikitsa chitukuko cha magulu othandizira maganizo a sukulu amapereka ngakhale kuyang'anira akatswiri kwa achinyamata omwe ali okonzeka kuchita izi.

Kuwopsa

• Kuchulukitsa kupsinjika maganizo. Akatswiri a zamaganizo ndi amisala amadziwa momwe angasamalire malingaliro polankhula ndi odwala, koma anthu ambiri saphunzitsidwa izi. Wina amene amathandiza bwenzi ndi mavuto aakulu maganizo nthawi zambiri amakhala «woyang'anira pa kuitana», amene nthawi zonse kuzunzidwa ndi nkhawa ndi nkhawa.
• Mavuto a anthu ena amasanduka cholemetsa chosapiririka. Matenda ena a m’maganizo, monga kuvutika maganizo kosatha, matenda a maganizo ochititsa munthu kusinthasintha zochitika, PTSD, zizoloŵezi zoipa, vuto la kudya, ndi aakulu kwambiri moti sangadalire thandizo la mnzako. Achinyamata alibe luso la psychotherapist. Anzanu sayenera kutenga udindo wa akatswiri. Sikuti izi ndizowopsa komanso zodetsa nkhawa, komanso zingakhale zoopsa.
• Ndizowopsa kufunsa akulu kuti akuthandizeni. Nthawi zina mnzanu amakuchondererani kuti musauze aliyense. Zimachitikanso kuti kuyitana kwa makolo, mphunzitsi kapena katswiri wa zamaganizo amafanana ndi kuperekedwa komanso chiopsezo chotaya bwenzi. M’chenicheni, kutembenukira kwa achikulire mumkhalidwe wothekera wowopsa kuli chizindikiro cha kudera nkhaŵa kwenikweni kwa bwenzi. Ndi bwino kupempha thandizo m’malo modikirira mpaka atadzipweteka yekha ndi kumva chisoni.
• Kudziimba mlandu chifukwa cha moyo wanu. Kudziyerekeza ndi ena n’kwachibadwa. Ngati mnzanu sakuchita bwino ndipo inu mukuchita bwino, si zachilendo kudziimba mlandu kuti simunakumanepo ndi mavuto aakulu m’moyo.

Malangizo kwa makolo

Nthawi zambiri achinyamata amabisira makolo awo kuti anzawo ali m’mavuto. Makamaka chifukwa chakuti safuna kugwiritsa ntchito molakwa chikhulupiriro cha ena kapena amawopa kuti akuluakulu angauze anzawo chilichonse. Kuwonjezera pamenepo, ana ambiri akuluakulu amachitira nsanje ufulu wawo wochita zinthu payekha ndipo amakhulupirira kuti angathe kupirira popanda inuyo.

Komabe, mukhoza kuthandiza mwana amene watenga udindo wa «chovala».

1. Yambitsani Kukambitsirana Mwachidule

Ana amakhala okonzeka kuyankhula za chiwopsezo chomwe chingachitike ngati mwakambirana mobwerezabwereza za maubwenzi ndi anzawo m'mbuyomu. Ngati akuwonani ngati bwenzi lokonzekera kumvetsera ndi kupereka uphungu wololera, ndiye kuti adzakuuzani nkhaŵa zawo ndi kubwera kudzawathandiza koposa kamodzi.

2. Khalani ndi chidwi ndi zomwe amakhala

Nthawi zonse zimakhala zothandiza kufunsa ana momwe akuchitira: ndi abwenzi, kusukulu, gawo lamasewera, ndi zina zotero. Konzekerani kukomoka nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, koma ngati musonyeza chidwi nthaŵi zonse, mudzagaŵidwa ndi apamtima kwambiri.

3. Perekani chithandizo

Ngati mwauzidwa kuti mnzanu ali ndi vuto, funsani mwana wanu mafunso omasuka ponena za mmene akumvera popanda kumufotokozera zambiri za mnzanuyo. Apanso, tsimikizirani kuti mutha kufunsa malangizo nthawi zonse. Tsegulani chitseko ndipo abwera akakonzeka.

Ngati mukuganiza kuti mwana wanu ayenera kulankhula ndi munthu wina, funsani kuti mufike kwa banja lodalirika kapena bwenzi lanu. Ngati ana akuzengereza kumasuka kwa inu kapena achikulire ena, auzeni kuti awerenge malingaliro ali m’munsiwa monga chitsogozo cha kudzithandiza.

Malangizo kwa achinyamata

Ngati mukupereka chithandizo chamakhalidwe kwa mnzanu yemwe akukumana ndi vuto lamalingaliro, malangizowa adzakuthandizani kuti zinthu zisamayende bwino.

1. Fotokozani Udindo Wanu, Zolinga, ndi Mwayi Wanu Pasadakhale

Ganizirani ngati ndinu wokonzeka kuthandiza anzanu. Ndizovuta kunena kuti ayi, koma ndi kusankha kwanu. Ngati mwavomera kuthandiza, ngakhale pa nkhani zazing’ono, m’pofunika kuti mukambirane mwamsanga zimene mungathe kapena zimene simungathe kuchita.

Nenani kuti ndinu okondwa kumvetsera, kuthandizira ndi kuthandizidwa ndi uphungu. Koma abwenzi ayenera kumvetsetsa: simuli katswiri wa zamaganizo, choncho mulibe ufulu wopereka malingaliro pazochitika zomwe zimafuna maphunziro apamwamba. Simungakhale mpulumutsi nokha chifukwa udindo ndi waukulu kwambiri kwa mmodzi.

Ndipo potsiriza, chinthu chofunika kwambiri: ngati mnzanu ali pangozi, thandizo la makolo, mphunzitsi, dokotala angafunike. Simungathe kulonjeza chinsinsi chonse. Zokonzekera zam'mbuyo ndizofunikira. Amaletsa kusamvana ndi kuneneza za kuperekedwa. Ngati muyenera kuphatikizira munthu wina, chikumbumtima chanu chidzakhala choyera.

2. Musakhale nokha

Ngakhale abwenzi angaumirire kuti palibe wina aliyense koma inu muyenera kudziwa zomwe zikuwachitikira, izi sizingathandize aliyense: mtolo wa chithandizo cha makhalidwe ndi wolemetsa kwa wina. Nthawi yomweyo funsani wina yemwe mungamuyimbire kuti akuthandizeni. Izi zikhoza kukhala bwenzi lapamtima, mphunzitsi, kholo, kapena katswiri wa zamaganizo. Kumanga gulu laling'ono ndi njira yopewera kumverera ngati udindo wonse uli pamapewa anu.

3. Dzisamalire

Kumbukirani lamulo la ndegeyo: valani chigoba cha okosijeni poyamba pa inu nokha, kenako pa mnansi wanu. Titha kuthandiza ena ngati ifeyo tili ndi thanzi labwino komanso kuganiza bwino.

Ndithudi, chikhumbo chofuna kuthandiza mabwenzi m’mavuto n’chabwino. Komabe, pankhani ya chithandizo chamakhalidwe, kukonzekera bwino, malire abwino, ndi zochita zatanthauzo zidzapangitsa kuti ntchito yanu ikhale yosavuta.

Za Mlembi: Eugene Berezin ndi Pulofesa wa Psychiatry pa Harvard University ndi CEO wa Youth Mental Health Center ku Massachusetts General Hospital.