Aliyense amakhala ndi mavuto nthawi ndi nthawi. Kodi mumatani mukakumana nawo? Ganizilani mmene zinthu zilili ndi kucitapo kanthu? Kodi mumazitenga ngati zovuta? Kodi mukuyembekezera kuti zonse "zidzithetse zokha"? Zomwe mumazolowera mukakumana ndi zovuta zimakhudza kwambiri moyo wanu. Ndi chifukwa chake.
Anthu ndi mavuto awo
Natalia ali ndi zaka 32. Amafuna kupeza mwamuna amene angathetse mavuto ake onse. Zoyembekeza zotere zimalankhula za ukhanda: Natalya amawona mwa wokondedwa wake kholo lomwe limasamala, limamusamalira ndikuwonetsetsa kuti zosowa zake zikukwaniritsidwa. Kokha, malinga ndi pasipoti yake, Natalya sanakhale mwana kwa nthawi yayitali ...
Oleg ali ndi zaka 53, ndipo akupita kupatukana ndi mkazi wake wokondedwa, amene anakhala naye kwa zaka zitatu. Oleg si mmodzi wa anthu amene amakonda kulankhula za mavuto, ndipo iye "nthawi zonse ankacheka" ndi nkhani zimene sizikuwayendera bwino. Oleg adawona izi ngati zokonda zachikazi, adazichotsa. Mnzakeyo analephera kumuchititsa kuganiza mozama pa zimene zinali kuchitika kuti asonkhane pamodzi polimbana ndi mavuto, ndipo anaganiza zothetsa chibwenzicho. Oleg samvetsa chifukwa chake izi zidachitika.
Kristina ali ndi zaka 48 ndipo sangathe kusiya mwana wake wamwamuna wazaka 19. Amawongolera mafoni ake, amawongolera mothandizidwa ndi kudziimba mlandu ("kukakamiza kwanga kumakwera chifukwa cha inu"), amachita chilichonse kuti atsimikizire kuti amakhala kunyumba, ndipo sapita kukakhala ndi chibwenzi chake. Christina mwini sakonda mtsikanayo, komanso banja lake. Ubale wa mkazi ndi mwamuna wake ndi wovuta: pali mikangano yambiri mwa iwo. Mwanayo anali kugwirizana, ndipo tsopano, pamene akufuna kumanga moyo wake, Christina amaletsa izi. Kulankhulana ndi kothina. Zoyipa kwa aliyense…
Vuto ndilo "injini ya patsogolo"
Kodi mumakumana ndi mavuto bwanji? Ambiri a ife timakwiya: “Izi sizikanayenera kuchitika! Osati ndi ine!
Koma kodi wina anatilonjeza kuti moyo wathu udzaima n’kuyenda bwino bwino? Izi sizinachitikepo ndipo sizichitika kwa aliyense. Ngakhale anthu amene zinthu zikuwayendera bwino amakumana ndi mavuto, kutaya munthu kapena chinachake, n’kupanga zosankha zovuta.
Koma ngati tilingalira za munthu wamba amene moyo wake ulibe mavuto, timamvetsetsa kuti zimakhala ngati akukhala m’zitini. Sichimakula, sichikhala champhamvu komanso chanzeru, sichiphunzira kuchokera ku zolakwika ndipo sichipeza njira zatsopano. Ndipo zonse chifukwa mavuto amatithandiza kukula.
Chifukwa chake, ndizopindulitsa kwambiri kusaganiza kuti moyo uyenera kukhala wopanda zovuta komanso wotsekemera ngati madzi, ndipo zovuta zimangobwera kuti ziwononge munthu. Zidzakhala bwino kwambiri kwa ife kuwona aliyense wa iwo ngati mwayi wopita patsogolo.
Pakachitika ngozi, ambiri amakhala ndi mantha, amanyalanyaza kapena amakana vutolo.
Mavuto amathandiza «kugwedezeka» ife, kusonyeza madera a stagnation kuti akufunika kusintha. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, amapereka mwayi wokula ndi kukula, kulimbitsa mkati mwanu.
Alfried Lenglet, m’buku lake lakuti A Life of Meaning, analemba kuti: “Kubadwa munthu kumatanthauza kukhala munthu amene moyo umam’funsa funso. Kukhala ndi moyo kumatanthauza kuyankha: kuyankha zofuna zilizonse panthawiyo.
Inde, kuthetsa mavuto kumafuna khama lamkati, zochita, chifuniro, zomwe munthu sali wokonzeka kusonyeza. Chifukwa chake, pakachitika ngozi, ambiri amakhala ndi mantha, amanyalanyaza kapena kukana vutolo, akumayembekezera kuti lidzatha lokha m'kupita kwanthawi kapena wina athana nalo kwa iye.
Zotsatira za kuthawa
Osazindikira mavuto, kukana kuti alipo, kunyalanyaza, kusawona zovuta zanu komanso kusagwira ntchito pa iwo ndi njira yachindunji yosakhutira ndi moyo wanu, malingaliro olephera ndi maubwenzi owonongeka. Ngati simutenga udindo pa moyo wanu, mudzayenera kupirira zotsatira zosasangalatsa.
Ndicho chifukwa chake nkofunika kuti Natalia asayang'ane "wowombola" mwa mwamuna, koma akhale ndi makhalidwe omwe angathandize kudzidalira powathetsa. Phunzirani kudzisamalira.
Oleg mwiniwakeyo akukula pang'onopang'ono ku lingaliro lakuti, mwinamwake, sanamvere kwambiri bwenzi lake la moyo ndipo sanafune kulabadira zovuta za ubale.
Christina angachite bwino kuyang'ana m'maganizo mwake komanso pa ubale wake ndi mwamuna wake. Mwanayo wakhwima, watsala pang'ono kuwuluka m'chisa ndipo adzakhala ndi moyo wake, ndipo adzakhalabe ndi mwamuna wake. Ndiyeno mafunso ofunika sangakhale “Kodi kusunga mwana? ", ndi "chosangalatsa ndi chiyani m'moyo wanga?" "Ndingadzaze chiyani?", "Kodi ndikufuna chiyani kwa ine ndekha? Kodi nthawi yomasuliridwa ndi chiyani?", "Mungasinthe bwanji, kusintha ubale wanu ndi mwamuna wanu?"
Zotsatira za udindo wa «kuchita kanthu» - zikamera zachabechabe mkati, kukhumba, kusakhutira.
Lingaliro lakuti "vuto ndilovuta, koma ndikufuna kumasuka", kupeŵa kufunikira kovutira ndikukana chitukuko cha chilengedwe. Ndipotu, kukana kwa moyo wokha ndi kusintha kwake.
Mmene munthu amathetsera mavuto zimasonyeza mmene amachitira ndi moyo wake, wokhawokha. Woyambitsa wa existential psychotherapy, Viktor Frankl, m’buku lake lakuti The Doctor and the Soul: Logotherapy and Existential Analysis, akulemba kuti: “Khalani ndi moyo ngati kuti mukukhalanso kachiŵiri, ndipo poyamba munawononga chirichonse chimene chingawonongeke.” Lingaliro lodetsa nkhawa, sichoncho?
Zotsatira za "kusachita kanthu" udindo ndi kutuluka kwachabechabe chamkati, kukhumudwa, kusakhutira ndi kukhumudwa. Aliyense wa ife amadzisankhira yekha: kuyang'ana mkhalidwe wake ndi iye mwini moona mtima kapena kudzitsekera yekha kwa iye ndi moyo. Ndipo moyo nthawi zonse udzatipatsa mwayi, "kutaya" zochitika zatsopano kuti tiganizirenso, mwawona, kusintha chinachake.
Dzikhulupirireni
Nthawi zonse ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa zomwe zimatilepheretsa kuthetsa mavuto ndikuwonetsa kulimba mtima tikakumana nazo. Choyamba, ndiko kudzikayikira ndi mantha. Kusakhulupirira mphamvu zanu, kuthekera kwanu, kuopa kusapirira, kuopa kusintha - kumalepheretsa kwambiri kuyenda m'moyo ndi kukula.
Choncho, n’kofunika kwambiri kudzimvetsa. Psychotherapy imathandizira kupanga ulendo wosaiwalika wozama mkati mwako, kumvetsetsa bwino za moyo wanu komanso kuthekera kosintha.