Zamkatimu
Kodi mwaona kuti kupeza bwino pakati pa banja, nthawi ya inu nokha ndi ntchito zimakuchotserani mphamvu ndi chikhulupiriro mwa inu nokha? Nthawi zambiri amayi amavutika ndi izi, chifukwa, malinga ndi malingaliro omwe alipo, ndi udindo wawo "kusuntha" maudindo osiyanasiyana. Pofunsira ntchito, sizingachitike kwa aliyense kufunsa mwamuna momwe angapangire ntchito yopambana ndikupereka nthawi kwa ana, kapena ngati chiyambi cha sukulu chingamulepheretse kumaliza ntchitoyi pa nthawi yake. Akazi ayenera kuyankha mafunso otero tsiku lililonse.
Tonsefe, mosasamala kanthu za jenda, tikufuna kuzindikirika, chikhalidwe cha anthu, mwayi wotukuka, osataya okondedwa athu komanso kutenga nawo mbali m'miyoyo ya ana athu. Malinga ndi kafukufuku wa Egon Zehnde, 74% ya anthu ali ndi chidwi ndi maudindo oyang'anira, koma chiwerengerochi chimachepa mpaka 57% mwa amayi omwe ali ndi zaka. Ndipo chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu ndicho vuto la kulinganizika pakati pa ntchito ndi banja.
Ngati timvetsetsa "kulinganiza" monga chiŵerengero cha magawo ofanana a nthawi ndi mphamvu zomwe timapereka kuntchito ndi moyo waumwini, ndiye kuti chikhumbo chofuna kupeza kufanana kumeneku chingatithamangitse pakona. Ndiko kulondola chiyembekezo chabodza, chikhumbo champhamvu cha kukwaniritsa kulinganizika, kufuna mopambanitsa kumene kumatisakaza. Chinthu chatsopano chikuwonjezeredwa kuzovuta zomwe zilipo kale - kulephera kupirira mofanana ndi maudindo onse.
The nafunsa funso - kupeza bwino pakati pa zinthu ziwiri - amatikakamiza kusankha «kaya-kapena», ngati ntchito sanali mbali ya moyo, monga mabwenzi, zokonda, ana ndi banja. Kapena kodi ntchito ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri kotero kuti n'kovuta kulinganiza ndi moyo wosangalatsa waumwini? Kusamala ndi mtundu wamalingaliro, kusaka kwa stasis, pomwe palibe kapena chilichonse chimayenda, chilichonse chimakhala chozizira ndipo chidzakhala changwiro kwamuyaya. M’chenicheni, kupeza kulinganizika si kanthu kena koma kuyesetsa kukhala ndi moyo wokhutiritsa.
Yesetsani kulingalira za kulinganiza monga chikhumbo chofuna kukwaniritsidwa m’mbali zonsezo popanda chisoni ndi liwongo.
Bwanji ngati, m'malo mogwirizanitsa ndi «zopanda malire», yesetsani kumanga njira yogwirizana yogwirira ntchito ndi moyo waumwini? Kuwona kopindulitsa kwa munthu monga dongosolo lonse, mosiyana ndi njira yapawiri, yomwe imagawanitsa "mbali" zotsutsana ndi zilakolako zosiyanasiyana. Kupatula apo, ntchito, zaumwini, ndi banja ndi gawo la moyo umodzi, ali ndi mphindi zabwino komanso zinthu zomwe zimatigwetsa pansi.
Nanga bwanji ngati titagwiritsa ntchito njira imodzi m'mbali zonse ziwiri: chitani zomwe mumakonda ndikusangalala nazo, kuyesa kuthana ndi ntchito zosasangalatsa bwino momwe mungathere ndikuwongolera luso lanu komwe kuli kofunikira? Yesetsani kuganiza mozama monga chikhumbo chofuna kukwaniritsidwa m’mbali zonse ziwiri popanda chisoni kapena kudziimba mlandu. Izi zidzakupatsani lingaliro la kukwaniritsidwa, kukwaniritsidwa ndi kulinganiza.
Kodi njira yotero ingamangidwe pa mfundo ziti?
1. NJIRA YOKANGA
M'malo mwa njira yokana yomwe imapangitsa kuti tisakhale ndi nkhawa komanso kutilepheretsa kukhutira, tsatirani njira yomanga. M'malo moganiza kuti mukugwira ntchito movutikira mukakhala kunyumba ndikunong'oneza bondo kuti simunakhale ndi nthawi yokwanira ndi ana anu mutakhala pa zokambirana muofesi, muyenera kukhala ndi moyo wokhutiritsa.
Njirayi imakhalanso ndi kufotokoza kwa thupi. Mitundu iwiri yamanjenje yamanjenje, yachifundo ndi parasympathetic, motero, imayang'anira kuyankha kupsinjika ndi kumasuka m'thupi lathu. Chinsinsi chake ndi chakuti onse ayenera kugwira ntchito mofanana. Ndiko kuti, kuchuluka kwa kupuma kuyenera kufanana ndi kuchuluka kwa nkhawa.
Sankhani ndi kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi pafupipafupi: kupalasa njinga kapena kuyenda, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kulankhulana ndi ana ndi okondedwa anu, kudzisamalira nokha, zosangalatsa. Pakapita nthawi, mudzamva kuti "dongosolo lopumula" layamba kupambana pakuyankha kupsinjika.
Kukonzekera kwina kwa sabata kungathandizenso, pamene mumakonzekera tsikulo m'njira "zosintha", kuika patsogolo zinthu zosangalatsa m'malo mozichita ngati zotsalira pambuyo pa zinthu "zofunikira".
2. KUKANA ZINTHU ZOPHUNZITSA
Ntchito ikhoza kukhala mwayi wabwino wofotokozera ana ndi okondedwa anu ubwino umene mumabweretsa, zifukwa zomwe mukuchita ntchito yaukadaulo, ndipo, potsiriza, udindo wanu, womwe udzagwirizane ndi fano la kunyumba. Osapeputsa nthawi yomwe mumathera kuntchito - m'malo mwake, yang'anani zomwe mumachita monga chothandizira ndipo gwiritsani ntchito mwayiwu kuphunzitsa mwana wanu zomwe mumayendera.
Pali lingaliro lakuti mkazi amene amakonda ntchito amapangitsa ana ake kukhala osasangalala. Zotsatira za kafukufuku yemwe adachitika pakati pa anthu 100 m'maiko 29 amatsutsa malingaliro awa. Ana a amayi ogwira ntchito amasangalala mofanana ndi omwe amayi awo amakhala pakhomo nthawi zonse.
Kuonjezera apo, pali zotsatira zabwino: ana aakazi akuluakulu a amayi ogwira ntchito amatha kugwira ntchito pawokha, kutenga maudindo a utsogoleri ndi kulandira malipiro apamwamba. Ana aamuna a amayi ogwira ntchito amakhala ndi ubale wofanana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi komanso amagawa maudindo m'banja. Kumbukirani zimenezi pamene muyang’anizana ndi lingaliro lakuti mayi wantchito akuphonya chinthu chamtengo wapatali kwa mwana wake.
3.MOYO WOZUNGULIRA "CHIKONDI"
Mukamayang'ana moyenera, ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa zomwe zimakupatsirani kudzoza pantchito. Ndi maudindo ofanana, ena amalimbikitsidwa ndi mwayi wodzitsutsa okha ndikukwaniritsa zosatheka, ena amalimbikitsidwa ndi mwayi wopeza nthawi yophunzitsa antchito, ena amalimbikitsidwa ndi njira yolenga, ndipo ena amasangalala kukambirana ndi makasitomala.
Unikani zomwe mumakonda kuchita, zomwe zimakupatsirani mphamvu, zimakupatsirani chisangalalo ndikuyenda, ndikuzikulitsa. Mungayesere kukhala ndi moyo osachepera mwezi umodzi m'magulu ena: mmalo mwa "ntchito" yachizolowezi ndi "banja", gawani moyo wanu kukhala "wokondedwa" ndi "wosakondedwa".
Kungakhale kupanda nzeru kunena kuti tiyenera kuchita zimene timakonda. Komabe, kudzipenyerera tokha ndi kusonyeza zimene timakonda kuchita (kuntchito kapena m’moyo wabanja), ndiyeno kuwonjezera chiŵerengero cha zokonda zathu m’mbali zonse ziŵiri, kudzatipangitsa kumva bwino. Kuonjezera apo, abwenzi athu, achibale, ogwira nawo ntchito adzatha kupindula ndi mawonetseredwe athu abwino.
Chotsatira pa izi?
Ngati mutha kumanga moyo wanu mozungulira mfundo izi, kuluka nsalu zenizeni «kupyolera» madera osiyanasiyana ndikupanga pakati pa zomwe mumakonda kwambiri, zidzakubweretserani chisangalalo ndi chisangalalo.
Osasintha kwambiri chilichonse nthawi imodzi - ndikosavuta kukumana ndi zolephera ndikusiya zonse momwe zilili. Yambani pang'ono. Ngati mumagwira ntchito maola 60 pa sabata, musayese kudzilowetsa mu maola 40 nthawi yomweyo. Ngati simunadyepo chakudya chamadzulo ndi banja lanu, musamadzikakamize kutero tsiku lililonse.
Chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndikutenga sitepe yoyamba ndikumamatira ku mfundo zatsopanozi pazochitika zonse. Nzeru zaku China zikuthandizani kuti muyambe: "Pali nthawi ziwiri zabwino zoyambira zatsopano: imodzi inali zaka 20 zapitazo, yachiwiri ndi pano."