Kodi mwakwiya, mwakhumudwa kapena mwakwiya? Kapena mwina okhumudwa kwambiri, okhumudwa? Ngati zimakuvutani kuthetsa malingaliro anu, ndipo sizingatheke kuchotsa malingaliro okhumudwitsa, yang'anani mndandanda wamalingaliro ndikusankha zomwe zikugwirizana ndi vuto lanu. Psychotherapist Guy Winch akufotokoza momwe mawu akulu angathandizire kuthana ndi malingaliro olakwika.
Tangoganizani kuti ndakupezani mukuganiza za chinthu chomwe chakukhumudwitsani kapena chakukhumudwitsani kwambiri ndikufunsani momwe mukumvera pakali pano. Kodi mungayankhe bwanji funsoli? Kodi mungatchule zomvera zingati - chimodzi, ziwiri, kapena zingapo? Aliyense amaganiza ndi kufotokoza zomwe akukumana nazo m'maganizo mosiyana.
Ena angangonena kuti ali achisoni. Ena angaone kuti ali achisoni ndi okhumudwa panthawi imodzimodzi. Ndipo enanso amatha kufotokoza zokumana nazo zawo mwatsatanetsatane. Adzanena zachisoni, kukhumudwitsidwa, nkhawa, nsanje, ndi malingaliro ena aliwonse odziwika bwino omwe amamva panthawiyo.
Kutha kuzindikira mobisa komanso tsatanetsatane wamalingaliro anu ndikofunikira kwambiri. Kafukufuku waposachedwapa wasonyeza kuti luso limeneli limakhudza osati mmene timaganizira za maganizo athu, komanso mmene tingawasamalire. Kwa iwo omwe amakonda kuganiza kosatha za zowawa zowawa ndikudutsa m'mikhalidwe yosasangalatsa m'mitu yawo, kuthekera kosiyanitsa pakati pamalingaliro kungakhale kofunikira.
Kwenikweni, tonsefe timachita izi nthawi ndi nthawi - timapachika kwa nthawi yaitali pazovuta zomwe zimatipondereza komanso zimatikhumudwitsa, ndipo sitingathe kuima, kubwezeretsa ndi kubwezeretsanso chipongwe kapena kulephera kwa akatswiri. Koma ena amakonda kuchita nthawi zambiri kuposa ena.
Choncho, nthawi zonse maganizo «kutafuna chingamu» (rumination) zambiri zoipa thanzi zotsatira (pakati pawo - kudya matenda, chiopsezo cha mowa mopitirira muyeso, ndi zokhudza thupi anachita kupsyinjika kuti amakwiya matenda a mtima, etc.), kuphatikizapo maganizo . Kuthamanga ndiye chiwopsezo chachikulu cha kupsinjika maganizo.
Kuthamanga kumayambitsa prefrontal cortex, yomwe imayang'anira kukhumudwa. Ndipo ngati munthu apitirizabe kugwidwa ndi maganizo oipa kwa nthawi yaitali, ndiye kuti watsala pang’ono kusiya kuvutika maganizo.
Tikuwoneka kuti tagwidwa mumzere woyipa: kuyang'ana pa zochitika zomwe zimatisokoneza kumawonjezera malingaliro olakwika ndikuchepetsa kuthekera kothetsa mavuto. Ndipo izi, kumabweretsa kuwonjezeka maganizo maganizo ndi amapereka zambiri «chakudya» «kutafuna».
Anthu omwe ali odziwa kuzindikira malingaliro awo amatha kuona kusiyana ndi kusintha kosaoneka bwino komwe kumachitika m'malingaliro awo. Mwachitsanzo, munthu wosungulumwa yemwe amangolankhula zachisoni chake amakhalabe mozama m'malingaliro okhumudwa mpaka atamaliza kuzungulira kwathunthu.
Koma munthu wokhoza kusiyanitsa chisoni, kukhumudwa, ndi kusalolera mwa iye mwini angazindikirenso kuti chidziŵitso chatsopanocho mwina sichinachepetse chisoni chake, koma chinam’thandiza kukhala wosalolera ndi wogwiritsidwa mwala. Nthawi zambiri, maganizo ake anasintha pang'ono.
Ambiri aife sitingathe kuzindikira ndikuyika malingaliro athu.
Kafukufuku amatsimikizira kuti anthu omwe amazindikira malingaliro awo amatha kuwongolera bwino panthawiyi, ndipo nthawi zambiri, amayendetsa bwino malingaliro awo ndikuchepetsa kukhudzidwa kwa kusasamala.
Posachedwapa, akatswiri a zamaganizo apita patsogolo kwambiri pa kafukufuku wawo wa nkhaniyi. Iwo adawona maphunzirowo kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi ndipo adapeza kuti anthu omwe amakonda kupota malingaliro oyipa, koma omwe sanathe kusiyanitsa malingaliro awo, adakhalabe achisoni komanso okhumudwa pambuyo pa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi kuposa omwe adafotokoza zomwe adakumana nazo.
Mawu omaliza a asayansiwa akufanana ndi zomwe zanenedwa pamwambapa: Kusiyanitsa malingaliro kumathandizira kuwongolera ndi kuwagonjetsa, komwe pakapita nthawi kumatha kukhudza kwambiri thanzi lamalingaliro ndi malingaliro. Zoona zake n’zakuti ambiri aife sitiri okhoza kuzindikira ndi kusamala mmene tikumvera. Kunena mosapita m’mbali, mawu athu a m’maganizo amakhala osauka kwambiri.
Kaŵirikaŵiri timalingalira za malingaliro athu m’mawu aakulu—mkwiyo, chimwemwe, kudabwa—ngati tilingalira za izo nkomwe. Kugwira ntchito ndi makasitomala monga psychotherapist, nthawi zambiri ndimawafunsa momwe amamvera panthawiyi mu gawoli. Ndipo ndimagwira mawonekedwe opanda kanthu kapena odandaula poyankha, ofanana ndi omwe mungawone mwa wophunzira yemwe sanakonzekere mayeso.
Nthawi ina mukadzapezeka kuti mukubwerezanso malingaliro ogwetsa pansi, yang'anani mndandandawo ndikulemba zomwe mukuganiza kuti mukukumana nazo panthawiyo. Ndikofunikira kuti muwadule m'mizati iwiri: kumanzere, lembani zomwe mumakumana nazo kwambiri, ndipo kumanja, zomwe sizimatchulika kwambiri.
Osafulumira. Khalani pamalingaliro aliwonse payekhapayekha, mverani nokha ndikuyankha ngati mukumvadi tsopano. Ndipo musawopsyezedwe ndi zovutazo - kusankha pa mndandanda wa mawu omwe akugwirizana ndi momwe mukumvera panthawiyo n'kosavuta kusiyana ndi kuyesa kudziwa momwe mukumvera pamene wothandizira akuyang'ana pa inu panthawi ya phunziro.
Kale kachitidwe koyamba kachiwonetsero kameneka kawonetsa kuti zomverera zanu ndizolemera kwambiri kuposa momwe mungaganizire. Pochita ntchitoyi kangapo, mudzatha kukulitsa mawu anu amalingaliro ndikukhala ndi kusiyana kwakukulu kwamalingaliro.
Za Katswiri: Guy Winch ndi katswiri wazamisala, wochiritsa mabanja, membala wa American Psychological Association, komanso wolemba mabuku ambiri, kuphatikiza Psychological First Aid (Medley, 2014).