Mwamuna ayenera kukhala wamphamvu, wosagwedezeka, ndi wopambana, wogonjetsa maiko atsopano… Katswiri wazachipatala Kelly Flanagan akuwonetsa.
Timaphunzitsa ana athu kuti anyamata salira. Phunzirani kubisala ndi kupondereza malingaliro, kunyalanyaza malingaliro anu ndipo musakhale ofooka. Ndipo ngati tikwanitsa kulera bwino, adzakula kukhala "amuna enieni" ... komabe, osakondwa.
Ndikulemba izi nditakhala pabwalo lopanda kanthu kunja kwa sukulu ya pulayimale komwe ana anga amapita. Tsopano, m’masiku otsiriza a chirimwe, kuno kuli bata ndi bata. Koma mu mlungu umodzi, pamene maphunziro ayamba, sukulu idzadzazidwa ndi mphamvu yogwira ntchito ya ana anga ndi anzawo a m’kalasi. Komanso, mauthenga. Kodi adzalandira mauthenga otani kuchokera kusukulu okhudza tanthauzo la kukhala anyamata ndikukhala amuna?
Posachedwapa, bomba lazaka 93 laphulika ku Los Angeles. Malita 90 miliyoni amadzi adatayikira m'misewu ya mzindawo komanso kusukulu ya University of California. N’chifukwa chiyani payipiyo inaphulika? Chifukwa Los Angeles adachimanga, adachikwirira, ndikuchiphatikiza mu dongosolo lazaka XNUMX losintha zida.
Tikamaphunzitsa anyamata kupondereza malingaliro awo, timakonzekera kuphulika.
Milandu yotere si yachilendo. Mwachitsanzo, payipi yomwe imapereka madzi kudera lalikulu la Washington idayikidwa Abraham Lincoln asanakhale purezidenti. Ndipo wakhala akugwiritsidwa ntchito tsiku ndi tsiku kuyambira pamenepo. Mwina sadzakumbukiridwa mpaka ataphulika. Umu ndi momwe timachitira madzi apampopi: timawakwirira pansi ndikuyiwala, ndiyeno timapeza mphotho pamene mapaipi amasiya kupirira kupanikizika.
Ndi momwe timalerera amuna athu.
Timauza anyamata kuti ngati akufuna kukhala amuna, azikwirira ndi kuwanyalanyaza mpaka ataphulika. Ndikudabwa ngati ana anga aamuna angaphunzire zimene akale awo aphunzitsa kwa zaka mazana ambiri: anyamata ayenera kumenyera chisamaliro, osati kulolera. Amazindikiridwa chifukwa cha kupambana, osati chifukwa cha malingaliro. Anyamata ayenera kukhala olimba m'thupi ndi mumzimu, kubisa chifundo chilichonse. Anyamata sagwiritsa ntchito mawu, amagwiritsa ntchito zibakera.
Ndikudabwa ngati anyamata anga adzitengera okha zomwe amatanthauza kukhala mwamuna: amuna amamenyana, kukwaniritsa ndi kupambana. Iwo amalamulira chirichonse, kuphatikizapo iwo eni. Ali ndi mphamvu ndipo amadziwa kuzigwiritsa ntchito. Amuna ndi atsogoleri osatetezeka. Iwo alibe kumverera, chifukwa zomverera ndi kufooka. Sakayikira chifukwa salakwitsa. Ndipo ngati, ngakhale zonsezi, munthu ali wosungulumwa, sayenera kukhazikitsa maubwenzi atsopano, koma kulanda malo atsopano ...
Chofunikira chokha chomwe chikuyenera kuchitika kunyumba ndikukhala munthu
Mlungu watha ndinagwira ntchito kunyumba, ndipo ana anga aamuna ndi anzanga ankasewera pabwalo lathu. Ndikuyang’ana pawindo, ndinaona kuti mmodzi mwa anyamatawo anagwetsa mwana wanga pansi n’kumumenya. Ndinathamanga kutsika masitepe ngati meteor, ndikukankhira chitseko chakumaso, ndikukalipira wolakwayo kuti, “Choka pano tsopano! Pita kunyumba!»
Mnyamatayo nthawi yomweyo anathamangira panjingayo, koma asanachoke, ndinaona kuti ali ndi mantha. Iye ankandiopa ine. Ndinaletsa zachiwawa zake ndi zanga, mkwiyo wake unatha kwa ine, kupsa mtima kwake kunatsatiridwa mwa munthu wina. Ndinamuphunzitsa kukhala mwamuna…Ndinamuitananso, n’kumupempha kuti andiyang’ane m’maso ndipo ndinati: “Palibe amene akukuzunzani, koma ngati mwakhumudwa ndi chinachake, musamakhumudwitsenso ena. Kulibwino tiwuze zomwe zidachitika."
Ndiyeno ake «madzi» anaphulika, ndipo ndi mphamvu kuti ndinadabwa ngakhale ine, wodziwa psychotherapist. Misozi inatuluka m’mitsinje. Malingaliro okanidwa ndi kusungulumwa anasefukira nkhope yake ndi bwalo langa. Ndi madzi ochuluka amalingaliro akuyenda m'mipope yathu ndikuuzidwa kuti tikwirire mozama, pamapeto pake timasweka. Tikamaphunzitsa anyamata kupondereza malingaliro awo, timayambitsa kuphulika.
Sabata yamawa, bwalo lamasewera kunja kwa sukulu ya pulayimale ya ana anga aamuna lidzadzazidwa ndi mauthenga. Sitingathe kusintha zomwe zili. Koma akaweruka kusukulu, anyamatawo amabwerera kwawo, ndipo zina, mauthenga athu amamveka kumeneko. Tikhoza kuwalonjeza kuti:
- kunyumba, simuyenera kulimbana ndi chidwi cha wina ndi kusunga nkhope yanu;
- mukhoza kukhala mabwenzi ndi ife ndi kulankhula monga choncho, popanda mpikisano;
- pano adzamva zowawa ndi mantha;
- chofunika chokhacho chomwe chiyenera kukumana panyumba ndicho kukhala munthu;
- apa adzalakwitsa, koma ifenso tidzalakwitsa;
- ndi bwino kulira pa zolakwa, tidzapeza njira kunena «Pepani» ndi «Mwakhululukidwa»;
- nthawi ina tidzaphwanya malonjezo onsewa.
Ndipo tikulonjezanso kuti zikachitika, tidzazitenga modekha. Ndipo tiyeni tiyambirenso.
Tiyeni titumize anyamata athu uthenga wotere. Funso siliri ngati mudzakhala mwamuna kapena ayi. Funso likumveka mosiyana: Kodi mudzakhala mwamuna wotani? Kodi mudzakwirira malingaliro anu mozama ndikusefukira omwe akuzungulirani pamene mapaipi akuphulika? Kapena mukhala chomwe muli? Zimangotengera zinthu ziwiri zokha: nokha-malingaliro anu, mantha, maloto, ziyembekezo, mphamvu, zofooka, chisangalalo, chisoni-ndi nthawi yochepa ya mahomoni omwe amathandiza thupi lanu kukula. Pomaliza, anyamata, timakukondani ndipo tikufuna kuti mufotokoze mokwanira, osabisa chilichonse.
Za Wolemba: Kelly Flanagan ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo komanso bambo wa ana atatu.