Thandizo loyamba lamalingaliro mu mikangano

Anthu ambiri alibe chizoloŵezi choika zofuna zawo patsogolo, koma m’mikhalidwe ya mikangano n’kwachibadwa kudzisamalira kaye. Ichi si chiwonetsero cha kudzikonda. Kudzikonda - kudzisamalira nokha, kulavulira ena.

Tikukamba za kudziteteza - muyenera choyamba kudzithandiza nokha kuti mukhale ndi mphamvu ndi mwayi wothandizira ena. Kuti tikhale mwamuna kapena mkazi wabwino, kholo, mwana, bwenzi, ndi wantchito wabwino, choyamba tiyenera kusamalira zosoŵa zathu.

Tengani mwachitsanzo zadzidzidzi pa ndege, zomwe tauzidwa muzofotokozera mwachidule musananyamuke. Kudzikonda - dziikireni chigoba cha okosijeni ndikuyiwala za wina aliyense. Kudzipatulira kotheratu kuvala zobvala zogoba pa aliyense wotizungulira pamene ife tokha tikutopa. Kudziteteza — kuvala chigoba tokha poyamba kuti tithe kuthandiza omwe ali pafupi nafe.

Sukulu satiphunzitsa mmene tingachitire zinthu ngati zimenezi. Mwina mphunzitsiyo analangiza kuti tisamamvetsere akatitchula mawu oipa. Nanga malangizo amenewa anathandiza bwanji? Inde sichoncho. Ndi chinthu chimodzi kunyalanyaza mawu opusa a munthu wina, ndikosiyananso kumva ngati “chiguduli”, kulola kunyozedwa ndi kunyalanyaza kuwononga komwe munthu angachite kuti tidzilemekeze komanso kudzilemekeza.

Kodi Emotional First Aid ndi chiyani?

1. Chitani zomwe mumakonda

Timawononga mphamvu zambiri pofuna kusangalatsa ena kapena kuwasiya osakhutira. Tiyenera kusiya kuchita zinthu zosafunika ndi kuyamba kuchita zinthu zolimbikitsa, kupanga zosankha patokha zimene zikugwirizana ndi mfundo zathu. Mwina zimenezi zidzafuna kuti tisiye kuchita zimene tiyenera kuchita ndi kusamalira chimwemwe chathu.

2. Gwiritsani ntchito zomwe mwakumana nazo komanso nzeru

Ndife akuluakulu, ndipo tili ndi chidziwitso chokwanira kuti timvetsetse kuti ndi mawu ati a interlocutor omwe ali omveka, komanso zomwe akunena kuti atipweteke. Simuyenera kudzitengera nokha. Mkwiyo wake ndi mtundu wachikulire wa kupsa mtima kwachibwana.

Amayesa kuwopseza ndi kugwiritsa ntchito mawu odzudzula ndi mawu achipongwe kuti awonetse kukweza ndi kugonjera mwamphamvu. Tingathe kuvomereza maganizo ake koma sitingagwirizane ndi mmene iye amaonera zinthu.

M’malo mogonja ku chikhumbo chachibadwa chofuna kudziteteza, ndi bwino kugwiritsa ntchito nzeru. Ngati mukumva ngati mukuyamba kunyozedwa, ngati kuti mawuwo akuwonetsadi kuti ndinu munthu wofunika, dziuzeni kuti "siyani!" Pajatu ndi zimene amafuna kwa ife.

Iye akuyesera kuti adzikweze potigwetsa ife pansi chifukwa iye akusowa kwambiri kudzitsimikizira yekha. Anthu achikulire odzilemekeza alibe chosowa chotero. Ndi chibadwa mwa anthu amene sadzilemekeza. Koma sitidzamuyankha chimodzimodzi. Sitidzamunyozetsanso.

3. Musalole kutengeka maganizo

Tingathe kuwongolera mkhalidwewo mwa kukumbukira kuti tili ndi chosankha. Makamaka, timalamulira zonse zomwe timanena. Tingafune kufotokoza, kuteteza, kukangana, kusangalatsa, kutsutsa, kapena kugonja ndi kugonjera, koma tingadziletse kutero.

Ife sitiri oipitsitsa kuposa aliyense padziko lapansi, sitiyenera kutenga mawu a interlocutor kwenikweni. Tikhoza kuvomereza maganizo ake: “Ndikuganiza kuti mukuvutika maganizo,” “Ziyenera kukhala zopweteka kwambiri,” kapena tisamanene maganizo ake.

Timasankha zomwe tikufuna kuwulula komanso liti. Pakalipano, tikhoza kusankha kuti tisanene chilichonse, chifukwa palibe chifukwa chonena chilichonse pakali pano. Iye safuna kutimvetsera.

Izi sizikutanthauza kuti ife «kunyalanyaza» izo. Timapanga chosankha chosonyeza kuti zimene akunenazo n'zoyenera, ayi. Timangoyerekeza kumvetsera. Mutha kugwedeza mutu kuwonetsa.

Timasankha kukhala odekha, osagwa ndi mbedza yake. Iye sangakhoze kutiputa, mawu alibe kanthu ndi ife. Palibe chifukwa choyankha, timagwiritsa ntchito nzeru ndikusankha kukhala chete. Iye sanatimvere ife mulimonse.

4. Bweretsaninso ulemu wanu

Ngati titatenga chipongwe chake ngati ifeyo, tinali otaika. Iye ali mu ulamuliro. Koma tingayambenso kudzilemekeza mwa kudzikumbutsa kuti ndife ofunika mosasamala kanthu za zophophonya zathu zonse ndi kupanda ungwilo kwathu.

Ngakhale zonse zanenedwa, ife sife amtengo wapatali kwa anthu kuposa wina aliyense. Ngakhale kuti zimene watinenezazo zili zoona, zimangoonetsa kuti ndife opanda ungwilo, monga mmene aliyense amacitila. “Kupanda ungwiro” kwathu kunamkwiyitsa, zomwe tingadandaule nazo.

Kudzudzula kwake sikumasonyeza kufunika kwathu. Koma komabe sikophweka kuti musalowe mu kukaikira ndi kudzidzudzula. Kuti mukhalebe odzilemekeza, dzikumbutseni kuti mawu ake ndi mawu a mwana mu hysterics, ndipo sathandiza iye kapena ife mwanjira iliyonse.

Ndife okhoza kudziletsa tokha ndi kusagonjera ku chiyeso chopereka yankho lomwelo lachibwana, lachibwana. Pajatu ndife akuluakulu. Ndipo ife kusankha kusinthana wina «mode». Timasankha kudzipatsa chithandizo cham'maganizo choyamba, kenako ndikuyankha kwa interlocutor. Tinaganiza zodekha.

Timadzikumbutsa tokha kuti ndife opanda pake. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti ndife apamwamba kuposa ena. Ndife gawo la umunthu, monganso wina aliyense. The interlocutor si wabwino kuposa ife, ndipo ife sitiri oipa kuposa iye. Tonse ndife anthu opanda ungwiro, okhala ndi zambiri zakale zomwe zimakhudza ubale wathu wina ndi mnzake.

Za wolemba: Aaron Carmine ndi katswiri wazamisala ku Urban Balance Psychological Services ku Chicago.